Review Summary: We're not young at heart, we're just too dumb to know any better
Just admit it. When your friends leave, you turn off the last.fm scrobbler and listen to a potpourri of pop-punk tracks that give you that hopeful nostalgic feeling. You know all the words to “In Too Deep”, “All the Small Things”, “Ocean Avenue” (blurgh), and “Cute Without the E” and you still play them on the daily. You aren’t a complete tool though, you summoned enough courage to throw your Simple Plan and Good Charlotte tunes in the trash. By now you’ve noticed that the popular pop-punk scene has changed a bit over the last ten years. Now it’s really gay
. They sing with high pretty voices over perfect production and almost none of them even have beards. Not only that but I’m positive that it is a generally unhealthy practice. Please refer to “I Feel Like Dancin’” by All Time Low or anything related to Forever the Sickest Kids to see what can happen. If I told you that a pop-punk supergroup formed, so powerful that it would realign the stars, you would probably wonder why Max Bemis hasn’t realized that that one guy from Saves the Day (I’m not doing any of this “research” bull***) is an unbearable prick. That is the WRONG train of thought. You haven’t even met that one guy from Saves the Day, he might be really nice AND neither of them were even invited to try out. But you don’t want to be embarrassed with your pop-punk diet, and you sure as hell don’t want your girlfriend’s annoying friend to be able to sing along. You want pop-punk that is ***ING RAD. Well here you go. If you thought: “Mikey Erg must be on to his 87th new project” then you are exactly ***ing right.
This supergroup, like legendary supergroups past, such as Temple of the Dog and Oysterhead, and not like Them Crooked Vultures and A Perfect Circle is assembled from the best of the best of their genre. A representative from pop-punk acts including The Ergs! (Mikey), Dear Landlord/Off With Their Heads (Zach) and a couple dudes from The Steinways (Grath and Ace) bring in a stocked team to match the Miami Heat. Except unlike the Heat, House Boat are likeable, and mesh their talents perfectly with a leader whose songwriting influence is really obviously pushed to the front and no it isn’t Mikey Erg. Grath and The Steinways perfected the House Boat formula in 2006 with Missed the Boat
and at first The Delaware Octopus
sounds like the best Steinways album you’ve ever heard as Grath carries almost all vocal duties.
But why is it good? Answer: Grath’s voice = sex appeal. Why else is it good? There is no waste. It is 100% catchy punk, which creates a blackhole that, sucks up all pretentiousness and each use of well-executed gang vocals kills a Dream Theater fanboy. A verse or chorus is rarely repeated. There isn’t a verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus x4 pattern ever and I’m still surprised at how great that makes this stuff. Throw this on top of the fact that there are literally no weak tracks, and that the album is only 20 minutes long and be prepared for mass House Boat listenings. What I mean is that this will never get old. The songs are a breeze to listen to, and “My Life Hurts” is so stuffed with pop-punk delight that it’s almost (*GASP) three minutes long. The lyrical content doesn’t stray far from complaints about how much life sucks and girls, but unlike Reel Big Fish you won’t ever cringe at the lack of creativity and the songs are uncomfortably relatable.
I’m not doing a conclusion paragraph I am tired. House Boat > Yellowcard