Review Summary: Dear Music-lover:
Do you like pop music? Pop isn't a genre any more, if it ever was, but it's certainly a mindset
Fuck Westlife, cheap ballads and cheesy lyrics. Fuck Rihanna, provocation and dancefloors. Even fuck fun., cute melodies and happiness. Fuck Britney Spears. You know what the world doesn't need? More apologetic bullshit, more dubstep bridges, more trends. Fuck trends. Trends are for the insecure.
What the world does need is more audacity. We know you love choruses, so our songs have choruses, huge ones, obvious ones, gorgeous ones, passionate ones, and hell yes, catchy ones. What use is a pop song if you can't sing along the second time you hear it? And we'll rip off 'Ode to Joy' if we fucking want to, and you will love it
because the words we'll be singing are the most brilliantly simple words that ever held any sort of meaning, like 'I didn't mean to scare you - you just seemed really nice.'
And we know that it's stupid. So do you. So we're on a level playing field. Finally
We will auto-tune the shit out of half the vocals and there will be shameless synths in half of the songs, so people will dismiss us as another shit band jumping on the electronic music bandwagon because we're not talented enough to play real music but they'll still download 'Here (In Your Arms)' and sing along when their friend plays 'Stuck To You' in a semi-ironic fashion at a house party. We will write about love and only
love, not gritty relationships or detailed break-ups but just the unadulterated awesome feeling you get when you love somebody and the terrible, unconsolable feeling you get when it all goes wrong. Oh, and those butterflies you get when you're a little bit scared of it.
This probably sounds fucking awful but we're pretty confident it isn't because here's the thing: we don't patronise our listeners. You are not a demographic. You are a person listening to an album and if that album is our album we're not going to take you for granted. We won't write the same song twice. We can do guilty-pleasure, we can do an epic closer and we can do a twee acoustic track. All of these things are what they look like but we're steadfast in our belief that they're great examples of what they are. We think we're influential, not because we're groundbreaking, or because we're louder or quieter or cooler than the last or next band you'll fall in love with, but because we're seriously. Not. Fucking. Around.
Fuck cheap ballads, provocation, cute melodies, happiness, dancefloors and cheesy lyrics, absolutely everywhere but here. Fuck you if you think we're wrong.