Review Summary: you know i dreamt about you for twenty nine years before I saw you.
you know i have been waiting twenty nine years to hear this. yet when i heard it, i didn’t even hear it. not at first. yeah yes there were highlights, stumbling vocals tumbling in staccato drum runs, a saturnine piano coda soothing me smoothing me relentlessly. but then one alcoholic evening as i slunk slouched in my room: the tangy realisation, the unfurling inevitability of this whole. (slow show
not the day to day minutiae, forgotten as soon as experienced, but those moments to remember forever:
that night down by the lakes the two of you when she whispered conspiratorially and giggled.
the brushing hush of her lips and the bruising slush of your skin inside. (fake empire
a land locked lubber scuttles for treasure;
seeks to scatter the tatters of an archipelagic lover.
you changed your face for her, swore this sweating suit for her, earned fool’s gold for her. for. her. (mistaken for strangers
and days later (how could it be?) weeks months years
when she said no when you said no
then then then neither of you had anywhere left to go. (start a war
oh my god, a million years ago,
moments grasped at clutched at,
the straining sands sloughing shaking hands.
if i had done something different, done something.
if i had returned. but i will not. i did not. oh i cannot. (green gloves
softly slowly she unwraps the layers,
lays her wrappers down.
she ignores the gnawing.
that sickening feeling that grows and grows to a cold stone certainty. (gospel
what remains, electronic embers conflabulated in the unfathomable recesses of a hard disk, this threnody?
what kicks in (serotonin? testosterone?), alone for always and ever, snapping through slurred synapses to fingertips to keyboard to the infinite internet beyond? (apartment story