Review Summary: Titanic meet iceberg.13 of 14 thought this review was well written
The idiotic crabcore tale began when some anonymous person made a wikipedia page about how the stage moves portrayed in Attack Attack's now infamous music video were similar to that of a crab. The label from then on was meshed with a strange upheaval of dance meets core and the rest is history. The internet trolls and scene kids of the world equally rejoiced as a new obnoxious trend was born. The overhyped craze soon sprouted instant knock offs for revenue and that's where Toronto, Ontario's europop/trance infused metalcore act Abandon All Ships ties in. I normally am one to preach about not judging a book by its cover before you view its content but for this occasion you can make an exception.
There are basically only two redeeming factors for those who enjoy passable electronics and catchy hooks as the band manages to bring a believable rave like atmosphere in certain sections. Unfortunately that's where the praise ends as the other musicians never seem to venture past what has become expected of Rise Records. I’m perplexed with the singing/screaming duo of bassist Martin Broda and frontman Angelo Aita. It's obvious that the overbearing auto-tune Martin uses is one hundred percent unnecessary and is used as a complete crutch . Angelo, on the other side, is grating because I can't understand how he can settle for such apathetic mid tempo growls with absolutely no stamina.
There's no doubt the lyrical material nearly sends the albums mindless fun factor straight down to sheer comedy laughs. First off, none of lines make a damn bit of sense when mashed together in song form. Martin opts for the sweet lovesick sentiments towards a special someone but then Angelo professes violent disgust in a derogatory fashion. In ‘When Dreams Become Nightmares’ it travels from hoarse threats, "You'll burn in hell, you ***ing whore" straight into gentle reassurance, "Baby, don't cry, don't scream." It comes off like a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde complex that refuses to mesh and is tremendously insufferable.
I first caught wind of this band through the MuchMusic program "disBAND" and was immediately turned off by seeing a bunch of Canadian guidos with Kanye West sized egos. It's worse enough they were the biggest disrespectful tools to every professional that tried to hand them helpful advice. I knew from that point on Abandon All Ships would never be accepted but it'd be entertaining to watch their piss poor attitudes erupt with an inevitable backlash. I'm confident people will send Geeving
sinking down in critical flames because there's nothing more tiring than watching spoiled brats boringly shovel a product they don't even buy.