Review Summary: If you are a man with man parts, this is the record for you.
Heavy metal is awesome. I myself went through a phase where I listened to guys who didn't play heavy metal, and after revisiting Pantera's undisputed magnum opus Vulgar Display of Power, I see the error in my ways.
In case you didn't know about Pantera, even after RIP DIME, allow me to give some band history: Pantera was four Texas homeboys who loved bitches, beer, and bustin' nuts (AKA playing metal). They also loved shredding and rocking hard. And fights. So like Thurston Moore wrote about how indie he was, and Bob Dylan wrote about how war is bad *cough*ARMY reject*cough* and how King Buzzo wrote about HANDCUFF WID SPESHUL KEYS, the four horsemen of Pantera wrote about beer and fights and hard shredding.
The album starts with Mouth For War, and from the getgo, you can tell that these guys are groovy, hard rockers with more testosterone than Danny Bonaduce, but with bigger balls. Every song on the album is heavier than Billy Milano (who's the fattest guy in thrash for those who are clueless), even the "ballad" This Love, which, despite its obvious attempts at showing a girlier, more sensitive side to the hard Texans, is still heavier than John Candy, and packs a punch mightier than Thor's hammer.
And not only are they heavier than Chris Farley, but they can play. And sing. Sir Philip Anselmo (recently declared a Knight by the Queen of England) wails like John Belushi overdosing, and he sounds tough. You can hear the sweat and blood and power in his pipes. Despite his total douchiness, he is cooler than all of us. The late Dimebag Darrell (RIP DIME) can shred like Malmsteen and groove like Frusciante, and despite getting shot down by a queer, he is also cooler than all. RIP DIME. Rex Brown plays bass on this record, and even though it's inaudible on the surface, if you really listen, you can hear his groovy beastliness beneath all the wails and shreddings. And the drummer, Vinnie "The Rock" Paul, drums like a drummer boy at the battle of the Alamo. If you don't get it, you're stupid, and it's metal.
So in short, this album may be the best album ever.