Enter the mournful cry of a violin. On their shoulders, they carry the weight of a thousand broken hearts, torn and battered by the lies of the ones they once cared for. The Details, the causes they have no relevance, only the grave results brought on by them. In the corner of your consciousness, you're only slightly aware of the soft piano- the repetitive sounds of relief, a Shelter from falling into the bottomless pit that your stomach has become. However, before granted the alleviation, the oncoming dissonance of a guitar beckons repressed feeling, feelings that for so long have been locked away, no key in grasp. Anger, and confusion, cascading thoughts of a sudden betrayal, flood your vision, tinting your sight red. That vile, putrid ***stained Dog, the pain they willingly caused. Can this rage, this blind, unrestrained hatred ever be abated? Stuck in a moment, days, weeks and years all pass in a second stuck in a suffocating ambience, a Town Line unable to proceed; as long as you hold this anger, you will never be allowed to live. Letting go, you let the waves of reprieve wash over you. Acceptance. You can't change what happened; as the saying goes what's done is done. You have to think back to the Years of bliss; times shared, enveloped in the overwhelming melodies of a relaxing ecstasy, simple in execution yet so complex in value. It's time to move on. Time to let go, time to start over.
A concept review. Obviously very short. Going through a hard time right now, and honestly, this album is helping me a lot. I still put in bits and pieces about the music and what songs they are in (which you can tell because they are in italics). It was hard at times to incorporate the song titles in, so i hope I did it in a way that makes sense with most of them. The songs do have lyrics, but most are about war, it is really more the music that speaks to me and helps. Comment, critique, tell me how much you hate it, how it doesn't make sense, but i found it therapeutic. Anyways, i HOPE it's enjoyable, so yeah feedback please.
actually the grammar is pretty poor in this. I see this as a creative piece, in which grammar does not necessarily have to be exactly, technically correct. However, in the first two sentences you could probably use full stops (periods) instead of commas, for a greater effect (read The Road by by Cormac McCarthy for an example as to how to do this properly). I think basically your grammar and syntactical choices are poor here, but otherwise you have a good foundation. Do some work on it, I'm interested to see where this goes tbh.