I guess the easiest thing to say would be that there is nothing quite like the unfortunately named Grumblecunt's first (and as of this review, only) EP. Featuring a cover depicting Lucy telling Schroeder (both of Charlie Brown
fame) that she pisses ***, and a run time of approximately five minutes... well, I guess that pretty much said it right there.
I did my research. I went on the "band"'s MySpace. I searched them on Google. I went on Last.FM. And what did I find? Nothing. Not one single helpful piece of information on the band (aside from the fact that they are supposedly from New York, New York). In fact, I don't even know if Grumblecunt is more than one person. However, I'll tell you one thing I do know: this EP (as much as it offends my sense of taste to call it that, it is what it is) is just horrible. I get the feeling that this is just some joke album made by a (wo?)man when (s?)he had nothing better to do. However, let's just pretend for a second that this was a serious endeavour on the part of Grumblecunt. What does this EP bring to the table, aside from a terrible album cover and title?
Let's start with the songs themselves: technically there are three, although really there is only one, and the EP also includes instrumental and acapella versions of that said song. Assuming you haven't already glazed over the track listing on the right-hand side of the page, your next logical question would be: what is this song called? Why, what else but "I Piss ***!" Pissing *** seems to be all that Grumblecunt is capable of- they named their EP that, they force innocent cartoon characters to say it on their album cover, their MySpace slogan is the very same, and their only song is also named "I Piss ***." However, all *** pissing aside, you can't judge a song solely based on its title , right? Up until now, I would have agreed with you. Listening to "I Piss ***" literally feels like the audio version pissing ***. The song is incredibly repetitive, with the only instruments featured being ambient noises (some of which might have sounded cool in a better song,) and the absolutely awful vocals of Grumblecunt's "singer." What I'm guessing this person tried to do here is a growl, but it fails miserably and ends up sounding more like a near-vomit attack than whatever it was supposed to in the first place. Oh yeah, the only lyrics in the song are: "I piss ***" (repeated four times throughout the 2 minute, 14 second track). Hold on: I forgot about the random and totally out of place guitar lick that takes up the last three seconds of the song!
The other two songs on the album are an instrumental version of the aforementioned song and an acapella version of it too. The instrumental version is a total waste of time, as the only reason you will want to listen to this anyway is for the hilarious vocals (although from a listening standpoint it is the strongest song on the album). The acapella version lets you listen to Grumblecunt's horrendous vocals without the background effects, which makes their flaws even more noticeable; at least this version was cut down to a paltry forty-two seconds, with the instrumental section in the middle of the main song removed.
If this was actually a serious musical outing (which I highly doubt,) than it may be the worst collection of songs ever recorded. If taken as it was meant to be, I'm guessing, a joke, however, it can be funny... for about a minute as you listen to snip-its of each song and laugh at the stupid album title and cover. Then it just gets irritating. Unless you love piss, ***, or both, than don't bother downloading this.
Please, for the love of god, do not download this.