Review Summary: Black Metal meets Walt Disney ride 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. This is Disney Metal.
Since its early inceptions, black metal has almost always run parallel to its more earthly derived cousin Folk. Beginning with Bathory's 1988 album Blood Fire Death
which started to blend fierce, uncompromising Black Metal with soft, tranquil Folk music, the sub-genre of folk influenced black metal was spawned. Ever since, bands such as Borknagar, Nokturnal Mortum and many others have taken the genre to new heights, expanding on the basic formula Bathory delved in. While many of these groups have gone on to produce classic albums; unfortunately the genre as every other has it's embarrassments. One such example is the United Kingdom's Jaldaboath, whose over the top sound on Hark the Herald
seems to being sowing the seeds of failure rather then success.
It would not be an off assumption to say that if 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Cradle of Filth had sex, Hark the Herald
would undoubtedly be their unfortunate, crippled lovechild. On songs such as "Bring Me the Head of Metatron" and "Seek the Grail", the keyboard embellishments are so over the top, they seem to fit the soundtrack to Disney World theme park rides rather than black metal. Although Although title track "Hark The Herald", does feature an impressive mid-section, the remainder of the song is a horrid combination of drunken pirate sea tune chants mixed with dull and repetitive three chord progressions. That's another factor that keeps the album from any sort of redemption; the black metal sections are just as weak as the "folk" parts. Nothing guitar/drums or bass wise, does anything to impress, but instead treads the path of technically inferiority. Even in the bearable parts of the record (mainly the closing song "Da Vinci's Code"), the instrumental work is mediocre and predictable. Even the lead vocalist Grand Master Jaldaboath does more then harm, then help with his weak performance littering the album with half-assed death grunts and laugh worthy clean vocals.
The band as a whole really just fails to bring everything together cohesively, with each instrument sounding at odds with the other. The keyboards rarely compliment the guitar-lines and vice-versa. Quite often, while the guitars are playing simple, galloping chord sequences, the synths totally overshadow the six-stringed instrument, covering any of the few shining moments where the guitar actually isn't all that horrible. This could be said about every instrument and their relation to the keyboards; it dominates utterly and totally overshadowing almost every other element to the music.
In all honesty, the only thing Hark the Herald
is good for, is a nice laugh. From start to finish, the whole album reeks of unoriginal riffing, and uninspired drum lines coupled with the superfluous use of keyboards. Jaldaboath should really just stick with what they're good with: Making music for the enjoyment of kids between the age of 6-13 at their favorite family amusement park.
My first negative review so be gentle. Really trying to expand my reviews (will probably start doing some non-BM albums soon) but i figured a negative review would be a good place to start.
Digging: Motley Crue - Too Fast for Love
Considering the rating you gave it, I guess the shortness of the review is somewhat understandable but...
Maybe rip on it a bit more next time? I dunno.
This is Disney Metal.
I will avoid.
It seems to cover things well, but it's too short.
Digging: Caspian - Dust and Disquiet
I didn't want to make it sound too ranty. Plus the album is so short/awful i really didn't have much more to go on.
Maybe i'll add some more, i just need to think a bit on what would be necessary to add.
Unsure of how I feel about the writeup. With a 1.5 rating don't be afraid to rip the album to pieces.
Yeah, i'm unsure about it as well. I just don't want to to come off as a rant, i want it to still be semi-informative.
Album Rating: 1.0
the summary makes this basically sound like Thornography.
Thornography is like De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas compared to this.
First off, the grammar in the review is abhorrent. And coming from me, that's a must-fix.
It's is a contraction. Its is possessive. Therefore, all of these "it's" need to be "its." None are saying it is.
Folk Black Metal should not be capitalized. And since it is a not a genre of music, say folky black metal, or folk-tinged black metal with lowercase letters. Genres of music also are not capitalized. Proper nouns are capitalized, but genres are adjectives which are never capitalized unless at the beginning of a sentence.
Instead of Bathory delved in, say Bathory began, or something similar.
groups have gone on to produce classic albums, unfortunately the genre as any other
the comma needs to be a semicolon/period. As any other needs to be converted to a clause via comma usage.
Only one although
Choose either Pirates of the Caribbean or drunken pirate sea tunes. I prefer the latter because there are wayyyyy too many references to Disney here.
Semicolons do not warrant capitalization (i.e. "Pretzels are good; they taste salty." is correct whilst "Pretzels are good; They taste salty." is not.
Comma after (mainly closing song "Da Vinci's Code.") Also, there should be a "the" after mainly.
Do not say "he is weak." Say his voice is weak or something like that. Also, I'm pretty sure there's no comma after this, but I'm not sure.
[b] Nothing guitars, drums, or bass-wise... [b] is correct rather than your passage.
The band as a whole really just fails to bring everything together cohesively, with each instrument sounding at odds with the other.
Make a paragraph about this. This transitions into incoherency rather than your conclusion. Plus, expand, expand, expand! If you're afraid of sounding ranty, take time to read your reviews over as if you had never heard the album before. Your entire review suffers due to this, especially the last two sentences.
To proofread, use the proofread reviews thread.
Oiy thanks. I guess i just wasn't on the top of my game with this one.
Working on all this stuff now.
I was going to neg, so perhaps try a couple of practice reviews, and have some sputnikmates go and edit them.
Fixed most of the stuff plus added another small paragraph. Thinking about possibly switching up the second and third in order but i dont know yet. This really was just a test review, so hopefully next time i can improve.
There are still some errors, but it's better. Again, those genres need to bu lowercase. And because you put while in front of many (or i missed that part) now, it needs to be a comma. While turns that into an incomplete thought. The third-to-last paragraph is better, but there's no flow moving one idea to the next.
Although Although needs to be fixed as well. But don't worry, you'll get it. And I'll pos just cuz.
The review is a perfect length, don't listen to these people.
Content might need some work though ;] Nice effort.
Sometimes when the song titles are horrible, you can tell it's bad.
And yeah Relinquished, the song titles should've been a dead give away
Nice improvement and I like the extra paragraph. Pos.
I noticed that on the third paragraph down, the second line should be backspaced back up to the first, if you get what I mean.
Oh wow, i didn't even notice that, thanks man. Thanks for the pos too