MyChildren MyBride
Unbreakable


1.5
very poor

Review

by Steven McMahan USER (49 Reviews)
November 24th, 2009 | 57 replies


Release Date: 2008 | Tracklist

Review Summary: More like Unbearable.

A soldier, seven feet tall, wielding a double-barreled rocket launcher, runs across a sea of sand as fast as possible. He zig-zags across the ground, dodging bolts of light and heat from the hostile violet craft pursuing him a couple dozen feet above. With incredible speed and precision, the soldier leaps into the air, simultaneously firing his rocket launcher at the ship. It connects, and the explosion force blasts him backwards into the sand several dozen feet away. He can only lie there for a moment, before another hostile troop transport arrives and the battle continues.

The preceding paragraph describes a possible scenario from the universe of Halo, Microsoft’s wildly popular sci-fi shooter video game. Said game is the subject of the song “Headshot!”, and if you’re wondering why a paragraph about Master Chief begins a review about a metalcore band, well, it’s easily the most interesting thing related to Unbreakable.

There’s no beating around the bush here: Unbreakable has nothing that could truly be called a redeeming feature. This is metalcore at its most generic, its most simplistic and pretty much without merit. Instrumentally, it’s par for the course: guitarists play simplistic leads and plenty of semi-technical riffs in between chugging and numerous breakdowns (more on those later). The bass is nonexistent, or at least for anyone not inside a car with good speakers. And as with seemingly most boring metalcore bands, the drummer displays the most talent, but his sometimes-interesting fills, predictable double bass and otherwise “good but not great” parts aren’t enough to save Unbreakable.

All this is not a recipe for a terrible album, and if there were strong vocals, the end result could be acceptable. What kills the album is threefold: the vocals are bad, mundane breakdowns are painfully abundant, and the lyrics range from cliché to laughable. To get an idea of what Matthew Hasting sounds like, imagine that Don Campan (Waking the Cadaver) and Grant Luoma (After the Burial) have a child. Young Matthew wants to be like his parents, and thus delivers almost his vocals in a low, guttural and annoyingly raw growl. His bandmates play their instruments somewhat well, but due to lack of ideas or the need to be br00tal, breakdowns litter the album. You’ve heard them before: sporadic chugging synced with snare hits and constant cymbal crashes, often with Hasting yelling lame lyrics over the top.

Even with all the crap that's come out of the genre, it's hard to think of something quite as bad as this. The only redeemable aspect of Unbreakable is “Headshot!”, which features lyrics such as “I am the master chief/No one can mess with me” and “Let’s start a match, Team Slayer on Lockout/Battle rifles blazin', you're gonna get knocked out”. It’s the only moment where MyChildren MyBride stop being serious (hopefully) and have fun, which is good because the other 9 songs certainly can’t be described with such a word. Unbreakable? Not hardly. Good? Nope. Unbearable? Definitely.



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user ratings (180)
Chart.
2.7
average
other reviews of this album
Nick Habisch (1.5)
metalcore for the few, the proud, the Bros!...


Comments:Add a Comment 
ninjuice
November 24th 2009


6760 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

So nice to take this off my computer.
I foresee some video game discussion coming...

YouAreMySilence
November 24th 2009


3727 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Pinnacle of mediocrity.

Emim
November 24th 2009


26621 Comments


I wouldn't say it's that bad, but it is pretty bad. On The Wings of Integrity has some nice parts in it.

Exile29
November 24th 2009


168 Comments


This album is totally not that generic.

MentalityOfA
November 24th 2009


1213 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Ah, well...

AtavanHalen
November 24th 2009


17927 Comments


Great review. Have never actually played Halo.

ninjuice
November 24th 2009


6760 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Was/is it not popular in Australia or something?

botb
November 24th 2009


9674 Comments


well faithless and headshot are good...

Piglet
November 24th 2009


4654 Comments


Was/is it not popular in Australia or something?

atavanhalen is just to "mature" for Halo i'm thinking...


Jips
November 24th 2009


1129 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

headshot!

shortone323
November 24th 2009


883 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Headshot is kinda fun, but really, once you get over the fact it has halo lyrics it's pretty bad. Good review though.

WhiteWallStargazers
November 24th 2009


2647 Comments


Your rating is 100% correct

KILL
November 24th 2009


71750 Comments


these guys are complete fags

Digging: Invisible - El jardin de los presentes

MrGlass
November 24th 2009


326 Comments


good review.

saw these guys opening for protest. so boring.

PanasonicYouth
November 24th 2009


7411 Comments


i hate halo

bloc
November 24th 2009


34848 Comments


nice review, i need to listen to this for the Halo stuff.

Digging: Interpol - El Pintor

burnafterbreeding
November 24th 2009


1466 Comments


Halo's the shit.

Band is not.

bloc
November 24th 2009


34848 Comments


[img]http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc96/katrinasrevenge/BOOM.jpg[/img]

ninjuice
November 24th 2009


6760 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

There are no respawn points in RL!

radianteclipse
November 24th 2009


397 Comments


I'll take Modern Warfare over Halo any day.



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