Lich King
Toxic Zombie Onslaught


4.5
superb

Review

by Grant Hunter USER (76 Reviews)
December 8th, 2008 | 109 replies


Release Date: 2008 | Tracklist

Review Summary: "WARNING: not for Opeth fans...you're just not ready for this sh*t" - Lich King

For the Lich King is fierce…and he…is wicked…awesome!

And thus begins “Toxic Zombie Onslaught”, Lich King’s second full-length. Building upon the success of “Necromantic Maelstorm”, Lich King continues to tread down the path of absurd, neck-breaking thrash with seemingly no care to whom they might rub the wrong way. The band has a hilarious habit of posting bulletins on their favorite forums and MySpace that contain posters proclaiming (in a sarcastic yet ever-so serious manner) themselves to be the greatest thrash band the world has ever known, and that Jeff Hanneman quit playing guitar after listening to just one Lich King song and picked up a job at STAPLES.

Oh, and then they have Thrash Baby, whose name they now trademark. It’s a baby who loves thrash metal. He’s pretty cool.

“Toxic Zombie Onslaught” doesn’t really do anything really different from “Necromantic Maelstorm”; instead, Lich King just tightens up their act and produces a much more rounded album. The opener, “Attack of the Wrath of the War of the Death of the Strike of the Sword of the Blood of the Beast”, sets the standard for the rest of album, as its drenched in juicy Bay Area thrash riffs that touch upon the greatness put down by albums such as “Bonded by Blood”. There’s speed, there’s ferocicity, but most importantly, there’s thrash. Palm mutes, strained screams, and a thumping bass drum keep the song going, not to mention it also displays Lich King’s ridiculous sense of humor within the first minute. The song features lines such as “He's got chainsaws and bombs and an axe, and some unfiltered cigarettes too”, as they tell of how the Beast is going to unleash “all of the violent sh*t he has planned”.

The best thing is that the rest of the album keeps right in line. The title track and “Thrash Resurgence” are sure neck snappers, with the latter featuring an oddly catchy chorus due to F*cking Tyrannosaur’s vocals (yes, they still have that name listed as their vocalist), which seemingly reflect the crunching riffs projected with lethal precision. Both “Predator” and “Office Politics” are nods to films, since according to a forum post by one of the Lich King members, they felt left out due to bands like Evile writing songs about movies (Evile wrote “First Blood”, which was about Rambo). The songs seem to fit the movies as well, with “Predator” (obviously named after the movie with the alien hunter and Arnold) being more straightforward and barbaric in manner, while “Office Politics” (which isn't exactly based off of a film, but uses a clip of Milton off of "Office Space") comes off as a bit more technical and riff-constructed. The closer, and also the continuation of the original “Lich King” song (aptly titled “Lich King II” here) off “Necromantic Maelstorm”, is epic in its own nature. Starting off with slow, gathering riffs, it quickly blitzes straight into an onslaught of guitar and drums, with vocals that shriek throughout the Lich King’s domain.

There’s been a few songs in musical history that started off as filler, but reached famous status upon the album release (“Paranoid”, by Black Sabbath for instance). In the case of “Toxic Zombie Onslaught”, that’s “Black Metal Sucks”. The whole song is as simple as a song could be, and is the only track off the album not to feature a solo…but that doesn’t even matter. “Black Metal Sucks” is a hilarious romp as Lich King rattles off everything that they hate about the stereotyped genre. Take the first half of the lyrics, for example:

Over there in Norway, the churches all burn down
Let's go dress in goth clothes and get painted like a clown
Awesome leather armbands with spikes like two feet long
Hair is parted down the middle, frowning like a frog

In league with the devil, talking Satan, skulls and hell
Making mommy mad, cause that's original
If you hate good music, then it can't hurt to go
Image-conscious assholes, black metal fashion show


The last line of the song indicates that “Black Metal Sucks” was written as quickly as possible (for pure amusement probably) since it goes “ Running out of rhymes, so wading pool. Thrash is the rule!

There isn’t anything really wrong with “Toxic Zombie Onslaught”. Sure, the volume level might be a little bit low, but that’s what speaker knobs are for. The only thing that really holds this album back from greatness is that it’s just not going to re-write the books on thrash metal. “Toxic Zombie Onslaught” is by the numbers, but don’t take that the wrong way; this album rips. From start to finish, there is nothing here but high-quality thrash that will leave you not only head-banging, but laughing as well.

Bow to the Lich King, peasants.

4.5/5



Recent reviews by this author
Destroyer 666 To the Devil His DueTech N9ne Everready (The Religion)
Lich King Necromantic MaelstromSodomizer The Dead Shall Rise to Kill
Alestorm Captain Morgan's RevengeDemolition Hammer Epidemic of Violence
user ratings (40)
Chart.
3.4
great

Comments:Add a Comment 
Essence
December 8th 2008


3586 Comments


HOLY SHIT GRANT REVIEWED AGAIN

south_of_heaven 11
December 8th 2008


5436 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

ya i had nothing else better to do

oh wait finals this week/next week lol whoops

SKUDstorm
December 8th 2008


136 Comments


I'm not really a big fan of thrash, but I love how these guys write good music and make it seem like such a joke. It's good to see bands expressing themselves rather than being generic robots.This Message Edited On 12.08.08

Essence
December 8th 2008


3586 Comments


Those lyrics are fucking amazing

south_of_heaven 11
December 8th 2008


5436 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

You can listen to "Black Metal Sucks" on their myspace. It's awesome.

http://www.myspace.com/lichkingband

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
December 8th 2008


16437 Comments


[QUOTE=Summary] "WARNING: not for Opeth fans...you're just not ready for this sh*t" [/QUOTE]
That means nobody on this site will be able to listen.

On a serious note I've heard a few songs by this band and they were good.

Digging: Swallowed - Lunarterial

south_of_heaven 11
December 8th 2008


5436 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

lol ya. I'm pretty sure Lich King (well, it was Tom who said it) were joking around when they said that due to Opeth's huge popularity in the metal community.

Acre
December 8th 2008


847 Comments


2. Attack of the Wrath of the War of the Death of the Strike of the Sword of the Blood of the Beast


Sold.

Essence
December 8th 2008


3586 Comments


Wow the vocalist sounds like he's 15

Nevermind, guess that's just on Black Metal SucksThis Message Edited On 12.08.08

Burn2Burn
December 8th 2008


2378 Comments


I can't wait to make my Death Knight in Wrath of the Lich King.


shit this is different

KSE19
December 8th 2008


37 Comments


sounds interesting. gonna check it out since ive been into thrash lately.

this is a cool review

Tyler
Emeritus
December 8th 2008


7926 Comments


gimmick thrash is usually stupid i probably wont check this out

jingledeath
December 8th 2008


7104 Comments


I got this yesterday but haven't given it a good listen yet.
From what I have heard I can say that the riffing is indeed superb but the production quality really bothered me, or did I download a bad version of the album?

south_of_heaven 11
December 8th 2008


5436 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

it's not a gimmick

they just don't take themselves too seriously with stuff like "NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST DEATH HAIL SATAN".

and no the quality is like that. it's awesome IMO. It's gritty, the way thrash production should be.This Message Edited On 12.08.08

Tyler
Emeritus
December 8th 2008


7926 Comments


well i'll maybe look into it but it's clearly gimmicky

KSE19
December 8th 2008


37 Comments


yeah I just heard the title track.. didn't really like it

south_of_heaven 11
December 8th 2008


5436 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

besides two songs based on movies and "Black Metal Sucks" I wouldn't call it "gimmicky". but that's just me so yup.

maybe it's just because one of the members from Lich King posts over on thrashunlimited, and he is so outlandish that all of this just seems normal to me coming from him. This Message Edited On 12.08.08

Tyler
Emeritus
December 8th 2008


7926 Comments


"WARNING: not for Opeth fans...you're just not ready for this sh*t" - Lich King
1. Cheesy Metal Intro
2. Attack of the Wrath of the War of the Death of the Strike of the Sword of the Blood of the Beast
4. Black Metal Sucks

F*cking Tyrannosaur’s vocals (yes, they still have that name listed as their vocalist)

They've got songs based off Predator and Office Space.
. The band has a hilarious habit of posting bulletins on their favorite forums and MySpace that contain posters proclaiming (in a sarcastic yet ever-so serious manner) themselves to be the greatest thrash band the world has ever known, and that Jeff Hanneman quit playing guitar after listening to just one Lich King song and picked up a job at STAPLES.

Oh, and then they have Thrash Baby, whose name they now trademark. It’s a baby who loves thrash metal. He’s pretty cool.

I mean I'm sure the music is cool but how is this not gimmicky? I'll probably check it out though I've gotten myself interested.

MentalityOfA
December 8th 2008


1213 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

What a joke.

Tyler
Emeritus
December 9th 2008


7926 Comments


Just listened to a few songs. Really, really bad.



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2014 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Privacy Policy