Lordi
Get Heavy


2.5
average

Review

by BludgeonySteve USER (17 Reviews)
November 8th, 2008 | 19 replies | 5,685 views


Release Date: 2002 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Oh lordi, Lordi. Why must you bore me?

3 of 3 thought this review was well written

When a friend of mine first described Lordi to me, it sounded too good to be true. Monster suits? Hilarious lyrics? Tight and powerful heavy metal? I was sold. I needed to hear this band. So I put down my Blind Guardian albums and rushed to my computer to take a listen. My mouse hand dripped with sweat and my knees shook as I downloaded their album. I decided to start at the beginning of their discography with Get Heavy. When the download was complete my heart nearly stopped and I had to calm my breathing. I put my headphones on and… you guessed it, was thoroughly disappointed.

Get Heavy is by no means a bad album. The band plays well together and sounds polished. The backup vocals, although shamelessly edited are pleasant, they make fair use of the keyboards and the production quality is good. This album certainly wouldn’t upset me if it was played in the background at a party or at a hockey game. So now we have pinpointed the kind of album this is. This isn’t a metal junkie’s treasure, it isn’t a music geek’s inspiration, it is light, generic hard rock that uses its image to coerce people into being fans. But on Get Heavy the band’s image proves to be much more exciting than the music

The instrumentation on the album isn’t bad. The players obviously have some skill and have put thought into their music. How much thought they have put into it is the question. The vocal melodies seem like they’ve been lazily lifted from mainstream 80s rock, the keyboards play parts so simple that they sound like a child learning to play the piano, the guitars and bass constantly play tired rhythms of constant chugging eighth notes and the drums are merely there to keep time. But enough dissection of the player’s styles, this isn’t music for the overly analytical music geek, this is pop music.

The songs are either memorable or completely forgettable. Songs like The Devil Is A Loser and Last Kiss Goodbye are pleasant and catchy. However the music has no depth and is simply not addictive enough to justify its mundane execution. For a band with vicious looking monster suits, the music isn’t even very energizing or exciting. Even the best songs get tired quickly and the hooks are average and at times awkward and corny. The lyrics are nothing special and sound like they were written with a makeshift crayon and piece of toilet paper on an elevator ride to the second floor.

Overall this is a mediocre album. Nothing is special about it and after the third listen it becomes stale and almost unbearable. Lordi tries to sound like badass rock and roll monsters with attitude on Get Heavy but come off as cheap, dare I say it? Gimmicks.



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user ratings (54)
Chart.
3.6
great

Comments:Add a Comment 
Dethtrasher
November 8th 2008



2211 Comments


I thought that this was brutal death metal when I saw the album cover for the first time :lol:

marksellsuswallets
November 8th 2008



4848 Comments


Haha cool review...I really just hate these guys though...I don't find their music interesting and Gwar already did the outrageous monster suit gimmick so eh...

Spamue1G
November 8th 2008



1292 Comments


Good review, it was really interesting to read. I won't be checking this out at any time soon.

BludgeonySteve
November 8th 2008



558 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Yeah for god's sake don't buy this. Though you should download a few songs to hear for yourself at least.This Message Edited On 11.08.08

kygermo
November 8th 2008



994 Comments


These dudes could be the worse band ever. LOL but good review though.

BallsToTheWall
November 8th 2008



44164 Comments


Fuck...fuck....fuck... Oh well, I haven't been in a reviewing state lately so nice work.

BludgeonySteve
November 8th 2008



558 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I'm guessing you like this, Balls. It sounds like a cartoony version of Accept.

BallsToTheWall
November 8th 2008



44164 Comments


My fanboyism of Lordi knows no bounds on sputnik. I get tourrets sometimes and spout WOULD YOU LOVE A MONSTERMAN and so forth.

BludgeonySteve
November 8th 2008



558 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Heh.

Wizard
November 8th 2008



19206 Comments


When the download was complete my heart nearly stopped and I had to calm my breathing. I put my headphones on and… you guessed it, was thoroughly disappointed.


Hahahahaha! What did you expect? Nice review.

These guys are excruciatingly terrible. Maybe as bad as St. Anger?




Digging: Merzbow - Dust of Dreams

Gore
November 8th 2008



333 Comments


Lordi, Get Heavy...sounds familiar

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
November 8th 2008



20855 Comments


I think this album may have been before it, but doing a Lordi review without mentioning Eurovision! Haha.

BallsToTheWall
November 8th 2008



44164 Comments


Wait a minute, this isn't a new album, it's a best of.

I can still review the new one. Mother fuck.This Message Edited On 11.08.08

Epilogue
November 8th 2008



1585 Comments


these dudes were so lame live.

BludgeonySteve
November 9th 2008



558 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Review the new one, Balls. I will read it. Hey, maybe Lordi have improved in the last 6 years.
:lol:

I'm glad you all like the review. It was done in only 20 minutes. The longest amount of time that I can stand to write about Lordi.This Message Edited On 11.09.08

Asiatic667
December 6th 2008



4647 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

y'all just suk yo, kuz lordi iz the worlds gratest deth metel band. Omg, they're so ********* heavy, ,man I was blon away wen I span dere first albim, the arokerlips. Wy dont y'all go lissen to yor emo myusik yoo poosies. LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Asiatic667
December 6th 2008



4647 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I do like lordi, but don't take anything in the above post seriously

shrikeman1
December 14th 2008



128 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

DEVIL IS A LOSER AND HE'S MY B*TCH!!!!!!!!!

shrikeman1
January 22nd 2009



128 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Love this album! I got it a while ago and I still cant stop listening to it!



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