Canibus
C True Hollywood Stories


1.0
awful

Review

by Maximilian Harkness USER (65 Reviews)
October 31st, 2008 | 21 replies


Release Date: 2002 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Canibus throws a block of some of the worst hip hop ever, leaving us to ask: is this a joke?

After the release of 2000 B.C., Canibus was dropped from the record label, and found himself right back in the underground from which he came. Still, the hard worker the young battle rapper was, he kept working hard for another release. He stated that he would break out with this, he would be famous. He hyped it up, said he had a story to tell, and the fact that he even has a new rap enemy. This was all true, but the story Canibus told was false at best and laughable at most realistic. The new rap enemy that Canibus made was a mere dissing of the commercial rap field, and in particular, white rapper Eminem. It’s funny too, that the album that Canibus made was probably his most mainstream oriented album yet, with the rapper attempting at hooks and dumbing down his rap material. This album is a laughable story of lost fame and horror. It’s name: C True Hollywood Stories, and it holds the horrible name of Canibus’s worst album.

Canibus’s rhyming used to be some of the best alive. He mixed poetry with battle rap, made things epic in the right circumstances; he was just the MC to see. 2000 B.C. was an awesome assortment of Canibus’s lyrical mastery, more fierce and more aggressive than ever before. Is it like that on C True Hollywood Stories? Absolutely not. He is much calmer than he is usually, he doesn’t usually go to his normal beastly rhyming power. He does try to rhyme some of the same things he usually does on this last album from time to time like on “I Gotta Story 2 Tell”, but for the most part he just sound ridiculous with the enormous amount of arrogance. Canibus doesn’t compile nearly enough scientific references or witticisms in his music, he just goes for the regular ‘yo I’m better than you’ rap, or goes for a totally new (and awful) concept like “Ya Teef Iz Yellow” and “Draft Me!”. Despite some experimentation on the album, however, none of the song’s lyrics ever even get within fifty feet his past work, and pretty much sound bad in this situation

"I never thought that it could come down to this
YA TEEF IZ YELLOW
it's a subject that I just can't resist
YA TEEF IZ YELLOW
You got jokes, but this one here is for you
YA TEEF IZ YELLOW
here's a list of things I think you should do
YA TEEF IZ YELLOW
As yellow as some pineapple punch
YA TEEF IZ YELLOW
they got that way because you don't brush
YA TEEF IZ YELLOW"

This brings me to the album’s concept. It starts with “Stan Lives” where Canibus helps rescue Stan, and if you don’t know who Stan is, he Is Eminem in the form of a loyal fan in the song “Stan”. Then comes the song “U Didn’t Care”, which is a sort of conceptual diss song towards Eminem, where Canibus plays – you’ll never guess – Stan! But wait! That isn’t all of it unfortunately, throughout the album there are these skits where Canibus drives the young rapper towards success, and ultimately he plays himself and Stan on the military anthem “Draft Me!”. Ultimately, the concept fails as a whole very few songs contribute to the concept, and the fact that concept is pretty god damn stupid.

Now this would all be somewhat forgivable if two things happened; the beats managed to start being quality, or the production started being somewhat decent. Neither of these things ever happened, and despite what you may think is possible or not, the beats actually got worse then they were on Can-I-Bus. Most of them take a simple back beat, and then use a musically dated and diluted sample from maybe the 50s that wasn’t ever used because it was so boring, and then draw it out so it fits an entire song. It sounds like Elevator Music placed to a hip hop drum beat. This also brings me to the production side of the album, which is more than awful for any fan of good production, or any production for that matter. The production sounds like just a wall of mud, with no interesting technique or atmosphere, just a bunch of mud with maybe a worm or two.

But what makes C True Hollywood Storys truly unbearable is that even Canibus knows he could do better with this album. Instead, he decided to make an album aimed towards the commercial. Maybe it’s all one big joke album, but if this album was actually meant to be taken as a serious effort, it completely falls flat on its face. C True Hollywood Stories was met with negative reception, with most critics questioning whether or not it was a joke. Eminem would diss Canibus back and completely demolish his career in the mainstream for good. It looked like the rapper was done for at that moment. C True Hollywood Stories is possibly the biggest blunder for any talented rapper ever, and sometimes I wish his label would have held it back so that it would never be released.

Recommended Songs:
“The Rip Off” has some half decent rhyming I that’s all you want.



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user ratings (12)
Chart.
2.3
average

Comments:Add a Comment 
francesfarmer
October 31st 2008


1477 Comments


YA TEEF IZ YELO BIOTCH MUHFUKKAH

bastard
October 31st 2008


3435 Comments


lol

this is, by far, his worst album. Even Hip Hop 4 Sale is better than this.

handoman
October 31st 2008


2386 Comments


This sounds like it sucks.

bastard
October 31st 2008


3435 Comments


the one star kinda gives it away, doesn't it?

handoman
October 31st 2008


2386 Comments


yea, I'll read the review now.

bastard
October 31st 2008


3435 Comments


k that will be good.

ClearTheLane
October 31st 2008


990 Comments


haha, this seriously sounds awful.This Message Edited On 10.31.08

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
October 31st 2008


20857 Comments


MaxyBoy is doing a DaveyBoy reviewing a discog... Or is he doing a gblackman?
Good choice of lyrics to include so as to highlight how ridiculous this is.
I much prefer Anything's "But This" from your recommended section... You cheeky ba$tard. :-)

bastard
October 31st 2008


3435 Comments


nah i'm doing a Daveyboy of his discography.

thanks for the compliment bro.This Message Edited On 10.31.08

badtaste
November 1st 2008


824 Comments


lol at those lyrics.

Spamue1G
November 1st 2008


1292 Comments


Nice work, the review was pretty much perfect.
The lyrics.. Oh my god, the lyrics! Big big big big big LOL! This sounds really bad, I liked the 'recommended by reviewer' section.

bastard
November 1st 2008


3435 Comments


If you want to just get a laugh or two, listen to this, with each song, something horribly bad is going on. It's funny.

handoman
November 1st 2008


2386 Comments


Dude bastard you change your avatar like everyday. imo.

bastard
November 1st 2008


3435 Comments


Dude I know.

joshuatree
Emeritus
November 1st 2008


3742 Comments


why would you keep reviewing canibus albums

bastard
November 1st 2008


3435 Comments


Some of them are very very good, some of them are very very bad. It interesting to see all the highlights and lowlights of his career, since it's so polar.

HalfManHalfAmazing
September 22nd 2010


613 Comments


WTF at the concept of Draft Me, mad random

Mista666
November 9th 2010


41 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Fuck All, album Rules with its funny feeling lovely silly beats canibus rhymes are flawless

Urinetrouble
November 9th 2010


5764 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

album sucks; rip the jacker is his best work, which is a 4

Mista666
December 29th 2010


41 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Rip The Jacker is a 5 to me



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