Orthrelm
Iorxhscimtor


1.0
awful

Review

by Justus USER (33 Reviews)
January 17th, 2008 | 47 replies | 6,238 views


Release Date: 2001 | Tracklist

Review Summary: A complete waste of sixteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds of your life. Please avoid this, as I should have done.

4 of 4 thought this review was well written

Every so often, we dive into the unexpected in music, right? We go buy (or otherwise acquire) a new album by a band we’ve never heard before, right? Sure, you might research them a bit, see if it will fit your tastes and whatnot, but the band is still vague to imagine. That’s how I found Orthrelm, an Avant-Garde Metal/Experimental act hailing from the D. C. area. Browsing through the Metal Archives’ Progressive section, I decided it might be worth to check out some Avant-Garde as well. As such, when I found Orthrelm, I thought this would be cool, atmospheric, heavy music. But I can tell you; I’ve never felt so fruitless with music before.

A noisy, directionless, mindless sixteen and a half minute ‘jam’ is what Orthrelms’ first album, Iorxhscimtor, is all about. There is little to say about the album, because it doesn’t have much. Pale and boring, repetitive, random leads courtesy of guitarist Mick Barr are what make up one-half of the album. The other half, Josh Blair, is on drums, and he’s just as ludicrous; unchecked spasms of wild cymbal hits and drum beats that are not forming anything lasting complete all that there is to this freakshow, Iorxhscimtor.

But the travesty of the music is nothing compared to the overall ‘imagination’ of this album. The shortest song is twenty-three seconds, while, in stark contrast; the longest track is two minutes and twenty-two seconds. But don’t think this is some Grindcore, face ripping nuclear bomb as some bands do. No blast beats of any kind, no punishing riffs, no vocals; just a simple combination of recapitulated solos and utterly unmindful drums that severely lacks any mental or physical work.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing solid on this album. No melodies, verses, choruses, bridges, no anything besides the lazy ‘songwriting’ of annoying, I’ve-already-heard-this-a-thousand-times-before shred leads and unimaginative, rehashed drums. Don’t get me wrong, Mick and Josh are good at their instruments, but could do so much more when they actually put their effort in. Yet with a sixteen-minute album that’s as repetitive as your generic Nickelback, with all your song titles being ‘Untitled’, and nothing behind your music besides sweep arpeggios, people will avoid any more Orthrelm albums at all costs.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
Epilogue
January 17th 2008



1555 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I know it's short, but seriously, there is absolutley nothing about this album. First negative review too

tinathefatlard
January 17th 2008



1572 Comments


Great review, you know why? because i dont even have the will to TRY and listen to this, i'll take your word for it.

cometuesday
January 17th 2008



959 Comments


I can almost imagine how bad it is. And don't worry about the review being short, I mean like you said it's 16 minutes of noise. Not much you can say about that.

ninjuice
January 17th 2008



6758 Comments


Great review, you know why? because i dont even have the will to TRY and listen to this, i'll take your word for it.

I second this. You described the music well enough and convinced me I won't like it.

astrel
January 17th 2008



2613 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I actually listened to this...and...wow...it was just terrible. This is to music as Tim and Eric (Awesome Show Great Job) are to comedy.

Kaleid
January 17th 2008



709 Comments


So I'm guessing that this is pretty bad.

I bet it's better than Ascendancy though. Purely for the fact that it's over mercifully quicklyThis Message Edited On 01.17.08

SubtleDagger
January 17th 2008



737 Comments


Oh look someone that doesn't understand Orthrelm on sputnik what a huge surprise

astrel
January 17th 2008



2613 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

oh look someone who confuses shit with pretentiousness.

pixiesfanyo
January 17th 2008



1223 Comments


that doesn't even make any sense.

Orthrelm is awesome. Guy FROM FUGAZI LIKES THEM!!!!!

anyways, your review bascially justifies why this band is good.This Message Edited On 01.17.08

SubtleDagger
January 17th 2008



737 Comments


oh look someone who confuses **** with pretentiousness.
Insults are supposed to actually be insulting just so you know

AngelPhoenix
January 17th 2008



2764 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

"someone that doesn't understand Orthrelm"

Feel free to explain, please...because it's not so much that I don't understand, it's more that my friend's cat could play this drunk. In fact, I think that's what this sounds like. Drunken cat music...if you can even call it music...

Is that insulting enough for you? ;)

The REALLY funny thing is, I've heard worse. This Message Edited On 01.17.08

pixiesfanyo
January 17th 2008



1223 Comments


obviously, you don't get the point of the music at all.

it is meant to be as abrasive as you say. in the little nuances of the guitar riffs there are melodies. its taking the ideas of minimalist composition and applying them in a heavy metal setting, that is why it is brilliant. sure, this record doesn't do it as successfully as their masterpiece 'Ov' which is basically an ever evolving 60 minute track that takes the idea of 'Strumming Music' and applies it in a metal setting, but that doesn't warrant the complete distaste of it.

the band isn't into blast beats, shredding, etc. its into complete compositions and thats what makes it music.

sorry you don't comprehend that.

botb
January 17th 2008



9284 Comments


how in the fuck do you pronounce the album title?

Digging: Cult Leader - Nothing For Us Here

south_of_heaven 11
January 17th 2008



5426 Comments


If pixies is praising the album, then it probably sucks tbh.

AngelPhoenix
January 17th 2008



2764 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Uhhh...you fail.

Listen to Moonsorrow. They make complete compositions. If you actually enjoy this, good for you. I do not, cannot, will not, and it has nothing to do with my taste in my music. It hurts my ears. It annoys me. It bores me. I could go on, but I've no desire to continue bashing something that you like. To each their own. Just don't tell me I don't comprehend the idea of complete compositions. I insulted your music. You insulted me.

Confessed2005
January 17th 2008



3314 Comments


Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing.

pixiesfanyo
January 17th 2008



1223 Comments


Moonsorrow is pop music when compared to this. Also, Moonsorrow will always be shit.

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
January 17th 2008



16071 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

I'm listening to this.

It isn't that great but the reviewer really is stupid.This Message Edited On 01.17.08

SubtleDagger
January 17th 2008



737 Comments


If pixies is praising the album, then it probably sucks tbh.
I'll await your thank yous for Kayo Dot and maudlin of the Well later then

AngelPhoenix
January 17th 2008



2764 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

"Moonsorrow is pop music"

This is where we agree to disagree, I leave, and you continue listening to your drunken cat music. Sucks to be you.



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