Arnold Schwarzenegger
Total Body Workout


1.0
awful

Review

by Meatplow USER (111 Reviews)
October 26th, 2007 | 208 replies


Release Date: 1982 | Tracklist


Arnold Schwarzenegger - Total Body Workout

Hi, this is Ah-nuld, your training partner!

Before he was cemented as an action movie hero in films such as Commando, The Running Man & The Terminator, and even further before his eventual move into politics to become the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was an Austrian born world champion bodybuilder. "The Austrian Oak", as he was known in these days at his peak is described as having 20" calves, 28.5" thighs, a 34" waist, a 57" chest and two massive tree trunks of 22" arms. In other words he was one buff motherfucker. As one of the most important figures in bodybuilding history and having a household name as an action movie star with a hilarious foreign accent, what people generally don't hear about Arnold is that he has a brief recording career.

Let's start our special program of resistance training without weights. Push-ups! My method of doing pushups between two chairs will give your chest the ultimate workout!

Not to say that what he recorded was music, not precisely. Released in 1982 (the same year as his breakthrough movie Conan The Barbarian), Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Body Workout is a compilation of what Arnold pitched as the best motivational workout music around in the early 80's and a perfect companion to building your arms up to 22" of muscle. Yup, the man has a musical mind for these things. Featuring such artists as Journey, Tommy Tutone, Champaign & Eddie Money there is a fairly diverse section of upbeat 70's/80's stadium rock/pop acts here, designed to get the heart and legs pumping during an intense workout. However if you are looking for a companion CD to complement closet motivational fascinations with songs such as Eye Of The Tiger or Push It To The Limit, you might be best seeking these songs elsewhere.

Crunches. Crunches are super exercise for flattening the stomach. As you know, just about everybody has a problem with that area of their body. So, let's make that weakness history by concentrating on getting washboard like abdominals!

The reason for this is not only are we served a thick, meaty slab of motivation through the music to sink our teeth into whilst pushing weights or grinding treadmills, Arnold guides us through his official exercise program during listening through voice-overs. Now we all know his thick Austrian accent is often pariodied, his pronunciation of English a massive obstacle in his early acting career. Listening to 45 minutes of Arnold instructing you how to do push-ups and star jumps to songs such as It's Raining Men might be too much for some to handle.

1, 2, 3, stretch all the way down! 5, 6, 7, and concentrate on your chest! 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and keep going! 16, 17, 18, Keep pressing! Keep pressing! Up down, up down, up down, up down, five more! Up down, up down, up down, up down, and one big one! Yes!

Fortunately Arnold recognised this, in the middle of the CD he pipes down save for a single motivational message and places I'm So Proud by Deniece Williams in for a roll. An r 'n' b soul number that is more conducive to love making then helping during a workout intermission, you can almost feel the soft, tender lips of a woman in your caress as you listen to it a'la love god Barry White. Arnold's message, Always remember, the importance of my program is not just to exercise. Also always visualise yourself in a perfect form, this will motivate you to exercise until your visions become reality, delivered in his thick, direct accent is the icing on the cake. After this the disc goes back to the first song for another run through the first part of this CD with some new exercises, so after that brief rest we are back into it! Save a track change or two this is the same thing all over again.

The next in our program is a wonderful exercise that I call, reaching for the sky! This exercise is fantastic to stretch your total upper body and the sides!

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Body Workout is a forgotten moment in musical compilation history, perhaps for good reason. The novelty factor is there as after all this is Arnold speaking for almost an hour whilst cheesy upbeat 80's songs play in the background, but it does wear deeply thin. As a compilation mix it is terrible as the permanently watermarked voice-overs mean you can't really listen to the songs unless you want to listen to Arnold. However, if you want 22" inch arms with a buff physique you could do a lot worse then buying Total Body Workout and working out to it every day for a year. Get down!



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user ratings (75)
Chart.
2.5
average
other reviews of this album
mankycaaant (1)
Hi, this is Arnold your training partner......

Smell The Cheese (1)
Just concentrate on doing crunching motions, and leave this album in the used bargain bin...


Comments:Add a Comment 
IsItLuck?
Emeritus
October 26th 2007


4927 Comments


lolololololololololololololololol

BallsToTheWall
October 26th 2007


44805 Comments


Even better than Macho Man or John Cena. Best review i've seen in my ages. F***** brilliant.

blackened07
October 26th 2007


949 Comments


Lol.

Neoteric
October 26th 2007


3243 Comments


Hah, I'm lost for words.

Sound
October 26th 2007


3904 Comments


lol no fucking way






Yazz_Flute
October 26th 2007


18875 Comments


hahahaha

my pos vote :thumb:

Digging: DIR EN GREY - Arche

JumpTheF**kUp
October 26th 2007


2716 Comments


This is terrific.
I love you.

masscows
October 26th 2007


2236 Comments


rofl

Unreal
October 26th 2007


229 Comments


lol...?

Correction
October 26th 2007


188 Comments


amazing review, holy SHI'T.

IsItLuck?
Emeritus
October 26th 2007


4927 Comments


ok upon further review this is still funny, but you barely talk about any music besides mentioning the bands.

Lunarfall
October 26th 2007


3179 Comments


LOL this really isn't music (no joke !), but this deserves a positive.

Meatplow
October 26th 2007


5524 Comments


Yeah he's an easy target, what can I say.

But trust me there is no way in the world you can concentrate on the music with him talking over it.

Djnx
October 26th 2007


85 Comments


Indeed, he is an easy target, that's what I was going to say.

Funny review.

FlawedPerfection
Emeritus
October 26th 2007


2806 Comments


nice

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
October 26th 2007


16485 Comments


Brilliant review dude.

samthebassman
October 26th 2007


2164 Comments


Kudos.

sgrevs
October 26th 2007


698 Comments


Great review, sounds like a good album.

Poet
October 26th 2007


5935 Comments


LOL!!! This is the epitome of awesomeness.

Willie
Moderator
October 26th 2007


16149 Comments


Yeah, what they said...

Digging: Mors Principium Est - Dawn Of The 5th Era



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