Marnie Stern
In Advance of the Broken Arm


1.0
awful

Review

by Nick Butler EMERITUS
August 20th, 2007 | 19 replies


Release Date: 2007 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Makes The Shaggs sound like Led Zeppelin. Truly awful.

Being a music reviewer is fun. Ultimately, it allows you to sit and have some alone time with the music you enjoy, and try to explain to others, and perhaps to yourself, just why you enjoy it so much. Every so often you might get the opportunity to indulge in some nerdy musical humour, and share it with people who'll actually know what you're talking about. You become part of a community - whatever community that is - that allows you to interact with like-minded people and talk for as long as you like about the thing you're most pasionate about.

However, sometimes, the job feels a little like a public service. Sadly, not all music can be good; some of it can be downright terrible, and those who hear music this bad have a duty to warn everybody else not to waste their time with trash, right? It's nice to write about and listen to music you love, but sometimes, you feel compelled to let other people know that what you just experienced was not something they should be repeating (or at least, you SHOULD feel that - if you don't, where's your sense of humanity?).

So here I am, waving a pile of dog*** with Marnie Stern's name on it, warning you - urging you - not to make the mistake I made.

There's a certain amount of committment that comes with burdening an album with the lowest rating available to you. 1.5/5 is a brutal score in itself, of course, but it stll shows you've held back in your attack - a 1.5 is a bad album, but an album you can forgive and forget. It's an album that will probably trouble a list of the year's worst albums, but will eventually be forgotten when lists of the worst albums ever are compiled. It's probably something that will anger you and disappoint you when you hear it, but the feeling won't last. But a 1? Man, that's something else. Those are albums that you'll still get angry at years after the event. Albums that will stay with you as a benchmark of how badly an idea can be executed. These aren't albums that merely 'suck', they are albums genuinely worthy of hate. Acknowledging this, there is not a single scrap of doubt in my mind that this deserves the rating I've given it.

Marnie Stern is a guitarist who fancies herself as a shredder. I use both terms lightly - I'll return to her personal performance on her instrument later. The compositions can be loosely classified under indie-pop, but don't come here expecting the intelligent songcraft of a Belle & Sebastian or a Wilco; the shambolic, near-punky attitude taken when composing these songs renders them a shambolic mess more in keeping with the precedent set by The Libertines and their followers. The lyrics are mostly indescernable thanks to Stern's vague, uncertain singing, but don't complain too much; they're hardly great, mostly consisting of a list of short phrases assorted into a jumble, with any sense of flow, coherence, or meter presumably thrown in the same bin that 'listenable production', 'enunciation', and 'singing in tune' ended up in. The boast of "Every Single Line Means Something" is a hollow one, that's for sure. Support comes from Zach Hill, famed as the drummer in Hella - he should be ashamed of himself for being involved in this, although he does occasionally offer up some neat ideas that get buried under the guitar - and John-Reed Thompson on bass.

But Marnie is undoubtedly the star of the show here, and there's not a second goes by where she doesn't exploit that fact. I'm not kidding - absolutely everything here is drenched in finger-tapping, or super-fast alternate picking, or some other kind of unnecessarily flashy guitar playing. The guitar doesn't even stop to allow her to sing - she simply sings over the top of her guitar. Sadly, two lines with no melody at all don't add up to one decent melody. Do you think the best indie-pop should be catchy and fun? Evidently Marnie Stern disagrees with you on both counts. The longest break without some irritating guitar on the entire album registers at somewhere around the 40 second mark. It's probably the best 40 seconds of the album. Even when she settles on a riff, as she does on "Letters From Rimbaud", it's still annoying, repetitive, ineffectual, and it still overpowers the vocals more than it should. Only on one track, the spoken-word "Patterns Of A Diamond Ceiling", do the vocals take precedent, and there it's a showcase what sounds like an amateurish poetry reading.

Now, I'll readily admit I'm not a fan of 'shred' albums in general, although the humour of Buckethead and Paul Gilbert, and some of the more famous ballads by the big names, are easily enjoyable enough for me. I also am happy to say that I have no problem seeing why or how people enjoy the likes of Vai, Satriani, Malmsteem, and so on when they're doing nothing but widdling at full speed - their chops on their instruments is beyond doubt, and to listen to them as technicians is to be left awestruck. Although some would seek to place her in the same bracket, Marnie Stern doesn't even have that scant redeeming feature, because her playing is some of the sloppiest I've ever heard. Seriously, anybody who criticizes Jimmy Page for being sloppy needs to hear some of the playing here and realize what the word 'sloppy' actually means. She rarely, if ever, sounds in control of what she's playing - notes are fluffed, rhythms are jerky, the volume isn't consistent, and the picking hand's faltering synchronisation with the fretting hand creates unwelcome noise. If anybody who has ever actually seen Marnie Stern play guitar is willing to state that she can actually play at this speed without making the basic technical errors usually associated with players who haven't put the work into learning how to play at high tempos, then I'll happily believe them - but this album is a poor, poor showcase for her lauded playing. Four of the six people I live with could make a shred album that is as good as this from a technical standpoint. And I'm pretty sure all six of us could write a better collection of songs, too. But the sad fact is that the songs here, uniformly mediocre as they are, don't even begin to register until the third listen - it takes that long to get past the shoddy, overdone, deeply irritating non-stop guitar playing. One might argue that the playing is deliberately sloppy and badly recorded to make it fit better into the shambolic nature of the songs - if that's the case, then it was an awful decision and whoever made it should forever be banned from involvement in any creative process of any kind.

At least 75% of the music on here is donwright obnoxious; the rest merely annoying. I have friends who take pride in the fact that they deliberately write songs that sound as bad as possible, songs that nobody could ever really enjoy, and those intentionally awful efforts are actually better than this album. This makes The Shaggs sound like Led Zeppelin. Have I made myself clear yet? This is truly, truly abysmal music. Do not even listen to it to find out how bad it is. If you have even the slightest curiousity, get some Maps & Atlases and find out how this SHOULD be done.

One final positive note? I'll never forget this album. That, at least, is something I have to respect.



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user ratings (30)
Chart.
3.1
good
other reviews of this album
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Comments:Add a Comment 
Fort23
August 20th 2007


2480 Comments


Also Recommended by Reviewer:

Some songs - that have melodies
A singer - who can sing
A guitarist - with taste
A producer - who knows what they're doing

lolThis Message Edited On 08.20.07

Iai
Emeritus
August 20th 2007


3553 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

DFelon really set a precedent with juvenile recommendations.

Kaleid
August 20th 2007


711 Comments


I always enjoy reading your negative reviews the most.

Is it true; this album's picked up quite a few positive reviews? Apparently some critics are won over merely by super-fast alternate picking. Does me head in.This Message Edited On 08.20.07

embroglio
August 21st 2007


219 Comments


nice review but i don't know what you're talking about, this is a good album.

Iai
Emeritus
August 21st 2007


3553 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Yeah, generally it got good reviews. New York Post apparently said it was 'the most exciting rock album of the year'. Rock is dead, evidently.

Splat: there's no quasi-communist leanings, Irish accents, or dance routines here so you'll probably be disappointed tbh

The Jungler
August 21st 2007


4827 Comments


an excellent review.
Maybe I'll listen to this.

sgrevs
August 21st 2007


698 Comments


I was actually planning on listening to this, with the expectation that it would be something like Belle and Sebastian with shredding. I guess it's not.

darthlaw
August 21st 2007


12 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

I'm not a big fan of Marnie Stern but really, she isn't as bad as this review makes her out to be. Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

La Revolucion
August 21st 2007


1060 Comments


I think this is more like a 3, but I see where you're coming from.

Kyle
August 21st 2007


667 Comments


Entertaining review, but I disagree...probably a 3.5 for me. I wouldn't say the guitar playing is mindless or whatever, she works quite hard at melody to produce emotion in her playing. It's interesting at the very least.

Jom
Staff Reviewer
August 21st 2007


2713 Comments


Review ruled. Nicely done, haha.

Duderino
May 16th 2008


828 Comments


I'm still amazed that Pitchfork gave this the same rating as Jane Doe

ruskirodrigorocks
October 15th 2008


15 Comments


I love this album, and yet, i agree with your review in a way.This Message Edited On 10.15.08

natey
February 2nd 2009


4170 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

i'm always on the prowl for Maps & Atlases look-a-likes so third to last sentence is making me get this

robertsona
Staff Reviewer
September 1st 2009


15083 Comments


this is good



rofl

edit: im also not kidding

Rationalist
December 29th 2009


880 Comments


Her second album is great.

Prophet178
December 29th 2009


6397 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Her second album fucking rules.

Ire
December 22nd 2011


41829 Comments


review is wrong

FingerToes
April 21st 2012


27 Comments


Lolno Marnie Stern is awesome



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