User
Reviews 3 Approval 100%
Soundoffs 14 News Articles 6 Band Edits + Tags 11 Album Edits 13
Album Ratings 546 Objectivity 74%
Last Active 11-17-17 10:52 pm Joined 01-28-13
Review Comments 165
| feeling human again
for the past four years (like... a little less than a year after i joined sput lmao) i'd been descending further and further into a horrible heroin addiction that drained me of my entire being. my morals, interests, emotions, all fading into nothing over that time. i got in a lot of legal trouble, found myself going in and out of jail/prison, to the point where last april, i was ready to put a stop to everything, permanently. i had tried so many times to quit, i'd been to rehab on numerous occasions, tried to use the clean time afforded me by incarceration to my advantage, but nothing was working. always found myself back downtown sticking a needle in my arm.
through all this, i lurked here pretty regularly, even wrote a couple reviews during some particularly... 'up' points in time as far as my mindset was concerned. never had the chance to really engage with the community, either out of lack of motivation or being too preoccupied with keeping my addiction alive, but sput kept me pretty steadily fed with music that kept my head above water and away from that conclusion i had come to back in april. and it was just fun to watch you guys do what you do, lmao.
as of today, i have 9 months clean. i'm working a job i love, i got rid of the plague of an S/O i had throughout my addiction who only ever brought me down, my friends and family are starting to trust me again, and my passion for music has been reignited, burning brighter than ever before. i feel like a person again. im ecstatic to be alive and to have failed in putting an end to myself, and instead figuratively killed the monster that i had been.
my point here, is that sput's been with me through all of this. and it's been a huge help in a weird, roundabout sort of way. so thank's everyone, for being you. i know i don't really know many of you, like, at all, but hopefully being of sound mind now, i'll do something about that.
list is what ive been spinning lately. cheers m/ | 1 | | NAH GIVV - - | 2 | | Marijuana Deathsquads Tamper, Disable, Destroy
interestingly enough, this was one of a few records that i associate HEAVILY with my using | 3 | | Rav Hyperkinesis EP | 4 | | Suicideyear Japan | 5 | | Harakiri for the Sky Arson | 6 | | Hella Hold Your Horse Is | 7 | | Amenra Mass VI | 8 | | Monobody Monobody | 9 | | Moral And Life Is | 10 | | Milo Who Told You To Think??!!?!?!?! | 11 | | Jeff Rosenstock POST- | 12 | | Cloud Nothings Here and Nowhere Else | 13 | | Big Ups Eighteen Hours of Static | 14 | | Mouse on Mars Spezmodia | 15 | | Youthmovies Good Nature | 16 | | Mono Transcendental | 17 | | Brockhampton SATURATION | 18 | | Kill Bill Ramona | 19 | | Slime Girls Vacation Wasteland | 20 | | Caribou Our Love | 21 | | Glassjaw Material Control | 22 | | Jakub Zytecki Wishful Lotus Proof | 23 | | Airospace Nocturne | 24 | | Last Leaf Down Bright Wide Colder | 25 | | Illogic Got Lyrics
Lucid Logic - Lucid Logic
I'll have to stick this in the database later, but definitely check this record out. collab between Illogic and San Jose, CA artist Lucid Optics.
https://illogic.bandcamp.com/album/lucid-logic-deluxe-version | |
Demon of the Fall
01.11.18 | Really pleasing to hear you managed to get out of this situation, I can't imagine what sort of courage & willpower it would've taken, heard that stuff completely takes over your life. Sometimes it can be a burden feeling 'too much' but I'd take that any day over numbing everything to the point of nothingness. Being human isn't all bad.
Props for 15, rarely see them mentioned. P.S. Commenting on your own list first helps people see it, otherwise it can go unnoticed. | Dewinged
01.11.18 | Like Demon said, glad you came out of hell, stick with us dude, write some reviews and hope u have a good time here. | verdant
01.11.18 | this is so great dude. well done | fullautorpg
01.11.18 | It is fantastic to hear that you've been clean for 9 months and life is starting to get better for you. I have an incredible amount of respect for continually trying to get yourself into a better position, and I'm glad you are in a better one. Best of luck and keep loving music. | Spacesh1p
01.11.18 | Stay strong, thanks for sharing your story. | DinosaurJones
01.11.18 | Good on you, man. I've lost a couple of friends to heroin, I'm glad you were able to kick it.
Very happy things are much better for you! | hobblepot
01.11.18 | heroin is a tough drug to kick, but you've done it, that's one hell of an accomplishment. i don't know who you are, but i'm proud of you. i'm happy to hear your life is on the up! | Dedes
01.11.18 | That Glassjaw album rocks hard
I'm happy for you dude! That's a hell of a slump to recover from. I know another user here that's been through the exact same thing. Props to anyone who can pull through drug addiction. | KjSwantko
01.11.18 | Congratulations and keep up the good work, man. Life is too short to piss it away on nonsense. | 50iL
01.11.18 | Well done my man. I’m very glad you have recovered, and I hope it’s all upwards from here. Keep it up dude :) | Drifter
01.11.18 | Congratulations bro. Glad to see you're well now. | ImmortalPaper
01.11.18 | thanks everyone, muah. it's been a journey and a half but i'm better for it.
@demon yeah i still find myself struggling from time to time when things feel overwhelming, get weird cravings. but at the end of the day id take this feeling over what i'd been doing any day.
also that record has been with me since high school haha, it's a damn tragedy it's not a better known release.
@SUCK idk where you're at personally man but i hope to high hell you're doing good man. keep your head up
@dino yeah man the area im in is totally fucked. i've already lost 3 people this year alone, and i'm talking about the week and a half of 2018 we've had, not the past 365 days. it's fucked. my condolences brother | DinosaurJones
01.11.18 | Props for 8, btw, that album is one of my favorites, I constantly sing its praises. Sorry to hear about your losses, but keep your head up, you've been able to stay afloat this long.
It's terrible where I'm at, NEPA and my area in particular just had the government officially declare it an epidemic. | ImmortalPaper
01.11.18 | and yet we have our attorney general bumbling about on a seek and destroy mission against pot lmao. it's sad and pathetic how widely recognized the problem is, yet how little is being done about it. | Kalopsia
01.11.18 | we love you random internet man.
but for realz, kudos on being able to turn yourself around. just find your passion and have that be your motivation to keep clean. wish you the best | DinosaurJones
01.11.18 | Yeah, that weed surrrre is dangerous... | ImmortalPaper
01.11.18 | love cannon return fire kal
dino didnt you watch the informative documentary reefer madness, weed makes you a deranged killer delete it from existence pls | Gmork89
01.11.18 | Good work man! | Dedes
01.11.18 | Me and Dino NEPA bro's for life | hal1ax
01.11.18 | yooo
good 2 hear. keep it up babe | ImmortalPaper
01.12.18 | halllllll luv u bb, thanks for the words last month. i keep it pushin fam | hal1ax
01.12.18 | np man. shoutbox me anytime. | hal1ax
01.12.18 | especially during those trying times.. the support really helps, even if it's online | CaimanJesus
01.12.18 | Congrats man | Demon of the Fall
01.12.18 | 'dino yeah man the area im in is totally fucked. i've already lost 3 people this year alone, and i'm talking about the week and a half of 2018 we've had'
Man that's screwed up, sorry to hear this. I feel so ignorant because it's not something I can relate to but living somewhere such as that must make it exceedingly more difficult to eventually prevail. Respect.
I find it deeply disturbing that places like this exist & feel very privileged regarding my own living situation/environment. | Pheromone
01.12.18 | Well done dude ! | ImmortalPaper
01.12.18 | thanks hal, it's good to know i've got resources, regardless of where they reside. really appreciate that.
demon i hope you stay ignorant, hope it's something you never can relate to, honestly.
it's a fucked up combination of gentrification and refusal to reform drug policy based on known effective models that leads to this shit. it's tragic. |
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