dbizzles
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12.26.21 Best of 2021: dbizzles edition ♦04.26.21 Sputnik is Sad: Destroyers
01.03.21 Best of 2020: dbizzles edition ♦10.05.20 Andy Stott: An Introduction
12.28.19 Best of 2019: dbizzles edition ♦03.28.19 March of Death ♦
12.23.18 Best of 2018: dbizzles edition ♦04.13.18 From Cave to Eternity: The Bad Seeds Ra ♦
01.08.18 Greatest Hits Project ♦08.09.17 Best 3-Punch Metal Combos ♦
06.24.17 Week Shit, with dbizzles.04.07.17 How to become a pile of crap in 40 easy
03.20.17 HORSE the Ranking02.16.17 Circa Survive Deluxe Giveaway
02.02.17 Converge YFM Redux giveaway01.29.17 mwY Ten Stories giveaway DL
10.18.16 User's 2016 Disappointment List09.04.16 An Evening With dbizzles...
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Sputnik is Sad: Destroyers

If nothing else can unite the Sputnik community, it is the feeling of sadness that has, no doubt, coursed throughout all of our veins that should bring us together. Therefore, I call upon all ye unashamed users to add to this playlist of absolute soul destroyers. My criteria is LOOSE, but the guidelines are TIGHT: comment ONE song that fucked you up inside and out and tell us why. I can't say what it is that fucks YOU up, but my picks should work as a loose template. NOTE: I’m not looking for material from bands like Defeated Sanity where you are left feeling defiled (lol), but more for songs that left you feeling barely less than dead from their emotional weight. I’ll update the list, but keep it to one pick per user (I’ll take the first if you post more than one). I know I picked several songs (shut up) and I know you may have your own personal picks for some of the artists I included (Sleeper 1982, anyone???) but, what you pick is up to you, just say why, while respecting the character restrictions if you can. I want- no, NEED, a list of soul-crushing, life-diminishing, ball-busters that I can put on the next time I have a pet pass away, a divorce filed, or a liver ruined. I know you have it in you, so let's have it here.
1Kevin Devine
Make the Clocks Move

'Ballgame'

Ever think you drink too much? Ever wanna confront that? Nah? Too bad. This is an anthem for the drunk and for those that don't want want to admit they have taken it too far. Seeing Kevin sing this live put more into perspective than I asked for with my $12 ticket.
2Listener
Time Is A Machine

'It Will All Happen the Way it Should'

Never have I been so affected by a live performance as when Dan Smith told me everything was fucked, but that everything was okay. I can't really add to the message of the song but love to reinforce the idea that things will get better with time, no matter what.
3Manchester Orchestra
Mean Everything to Nothing

'I Can Feel a Hot One'

Something about this just waited for the right minute to strike me. I was driving up a staggered mountain trail with my now wife, when the last verse of this put us outside of the vehicle and nearer the cloud of dust we left behind us as we climbed into the unknown. We questioned, and imagined, all things that may and may never be, but here we are now.
4Sufjan Stevens
Carrie and Lowell

'Fourth of July'

This may be self-explanatory but the first time I heard this was at 2 or 3 AM with a few whiskeys in me. I did not know what was to come, but every line here dug deeper and deeper. I think of this song too often.
5mewithoutYou
[untitled] e.p.

'August 6th'

Really, there are so many mwY songs I could put here, but this one, in particular, hit so hard when it came out that I was reduced to tears. The sudden EP release was shocking enough, but I knew after 30 seconds of this song that mwY was ready to leave on their own terms.
6Frightened Rabbit
Pedestrian Verse

'Nitrous Gas'

I don't even like to talk about this. We all spent years sifting through a semblance of the pain that lead guitarist and vocalist Scott Hutchinson endured. This song was fucked up 8 years ago; it's even more fucked up realizing his tragic passing. RIP, Scott.
7Warning
Watching from a Distance

'Footprints'

The big difference between this and all my other entries here is that this feels like it could be fantasy, but I do not think that's the case at all. No matter what sort of Merlinesque tragedy Patrick Walker presents in the beginning of this song, the last verse strips away all invulnerability, delivering an undeniably honest plea for love so bare I still dream about it to this day.
8Alice in Chains
MTV Unplugged

'Down in a Hole'

'Many songs have made me cry, but most of the time it is because they make me emotional over how pretty or actually inspirational for a depressed spirit that finds the song to be relatable may be

But if I had to pick a song that makes me emotional because it is depressive as fuck per se, I'd say the first pick that comes to mind is the MTV Unplugged version of Down in a Hole by Alice in Chains'

-MrSirLordGentleman
9Beardfish
Mammoth

‘Without You’

'An incredibly underrated acoustic ballad of loneliness and regret. Beardfish have made a ton of lengthy epics, but this song - which doesn't even clock in at 3 minutes - is one of their most emotionally hard-hitting tracks imo'

-DivergentThinking
10Murcof
Martes

budgie didn't say shit, so I just picked Murcof's first album :) I am interested in watching the film now.

-budgie
11Aimee Mann
The Forgotten Arm

‘King of the Jailhouse’

'The album tells the story of a an alcoholic Viet Nam vet named John who takes up with a troubled drifter girl named Caroline. John is also a boxer, and the "forgotten arm" is a boxing concept about an opponent pummeling you again and again with one hand so badly that you forget all about other hand, until it comes at you from out of nowhere and delivers the haymaker.

"King of the Jailhouse" is kind of John's intro song. John and Caroline meet at the Virginia State Fair in the 1970s and decide maybe they can outrun their troubles if they run off together. During the song, sung by John as Caroline is asleep in the backseat of his car.

The chorus of the song crushes me, as it's kind of the anthem for anyone who has ever had a mental illness, an addiction, or just the feeling of being an outsider -- he knows he's different from other people, but he can't understand why...'

-Divaman
12Matt Elliott
Howling Songs

'I Name This Ship the Tragedy, Bless Her and All Who Sail with Her'

'For me a lot of Matt Elliott has had that effect. Especially at a point where I wasn't feeling good with myself in my early 20s, kinda depressed because of lack of any self-esteem, love issues, teenage angst coming out late and heavy drinking

Anything in drinking songs is wrecking but probably the one single track from him that is killer is 'I name this ship the tragedy'

-pollastrerostit
13Barenaked Ladies
Everything to Everyone

‘War on Drugs’

'I know it's hard to believe a band as glib and silly as BnL could ever come up with something truly heart-shattering, but this is quite possibly the most honest and sad look at the phenomenon of addiction and suicidality I've ever encountered in any medium, and as I've gotten older and seen people around me struggle with (and, sadly, occasionally succumb to) the very same issues this song describes, it only seems to hit harder with every re-listen'

-Kompys2000

Real curious about this one lol, you got my attention.
14The Antlers
Burst Apart

'Putting the Dog to Sleep'

'while any number of Antlers tracks could be offered up (Hospice in particular housing them front to back), this track was made with the express intent of making your bitchass cry, creating parallels between euthanizing a beloved family dog and the final breaths of a dying relationship. essential crybaby jam.'

-RadioSuicide
15Diorama
Synthesize Me

'Synthesize Me'

'If there's anything wrapped up in a 4 minute 19 second package that could grip my soul and spirit it's this thumping beat that goes and goes and goes even as the machine has broke and begged for mercy. When I listen to this song I feel myself go to a place I have only visited in my darkest dreams - a kind of stasis where when there is nowhere else to go I can visit and take a break in cold metallic darkness. The song and I are hollowed and there is a love. There is a hope somewhere buried in grief. One of my most special pieces of music.

I'm half-alive
My skin is intact
I'm only staring at
The blade'

-cordwainerbird
16Boards of Canada
Geogaddi

'Over the Horizon Radar'

'this one is too much for my poor little soul to handle'

-Hyperion1001

great pick and great username : )
17The Byrds
The Notorious Byrd Brothers

'Goin' Back'

'The one song that almost always waters my eyes when I listen to it. I think it triggers me very hard on how easy/simple/innocent/genuine things were when you were younger, and not realizing how actually strange things were back then and now you have to keep up with your responsibilities, your future, your career, while also balancing all the other life things, not forgetting your family, your friends, the simple things that used to make you happy/bring you joy, not worrying about all the life's bullshits. and that's all delivered by the lovely harmonies from the byrds boys and mcguinn rickenbacker guitar, at the end it's such a simple song, but really hits me very hard'

-protokute
18Kishi Bashi
Omoiyari

'Angeline'

'Young Egarran would probably say Daddy by Korn.

But the last one that made me teary was Angeline by Kishi Bashi and it's basically fucking country lyrics dammit. It's about losing your soul mate because of greedy white devils who send you to work and die in a mine. Based on a true story ):'

-Egarran
19Hayden
Everything I Long For

'When This is Over'

'...the track is sung from the perspective of one of two little boys strapped into the back of a car driven into a river; their final moments. Written about a real crime from the early-mid nineties. It's hard to listen to.'

-The Wr3tched

He also mentioned Skates by the same artist because he doesn't give a shit about my silly rules lol

EDIT: Now shouting out Washer by Slint and you can read why in the comments below.
20Dave Bixby
Ode To Quetzalcoatl

'Drug Song'

-Cygnatti
21Evans Blue
The Melody and the Energetic Nature of Volume

'Beg'

'Evans Blue's "Beg" kicked me in the dick after my first break up'

-Josh D.
22Rolo Tomassi
Time Will Die And Love Will Bury It

'A Flood of Light'

'Yeah basically the whole Time Will Die album could go here for me. I am quite an introverted person, I remember cycling out to this empty field multiple times and just listening to this album, being on my own makes me very relaxed, but it also makes me feel depressed because that's not a thing a person should be enjoying, making me feel inadequate, etc. This song just makes me think of all the hardships in my life so far, very emotional and I've cried to this song many times. I dont know why, but just being in blistering cold weather enhances this album so much more imo, whether it be at night, or a shit cloudy and windy day, I suggest it to anyone who enjoys the song/album.'

-Tundra
23Jesu
Jesu

'Man/Woman'

'btw Godflesh has a track that is literally entitled "Crush My Soul", but for my official selection I am going to go with "Man/Woman" off the jesu self-titled album

honestly you should probably seek out the entire JKB catalog if soul-crushing destroyers and the like are what you're looking for - dude's got a bleak streak a mile wide'

-Sharenge

Broadrick definitely has that vibe and I have probably owe it to myself to hear more of his stuff.
24Emma Ruth Rundle and Thou
May Our Chambers Be Full

'The Valley'

'My hardest soulwrecker of 2020,

"A tower of failures, get them out of my way"'

-DDDeftoneDDD

You know I'm a sucker for Thou and this song indeed does own.
25Amanda Palmer
Theatre Is Evil

'The Bed Song'

The song that fucks me up no matter what. So, I’m extremely introverted and carry a lot of emotional baggage while at the same time finding it very difficult to express and articulate my emotions. I’m a reclusive loner, I don’t have many friends, I don’t have much family left, but I do have an amazing partner whom I love and adore very much. I’m not the best boyfriend (really, I’m not the best person), and I have a knack for slipping back into old habits even though I try my best not to (being emotionally unavailable, being too sad to have a drive for anything, lacking affection, etcetcetc you get the picture). So this song is symbolic to the point of its’ lyrical content will be the outcome if I keep on the trajectory I currently am. I drive the people closest to me away, without fail. I don’t know I’m doing it at the time, until it’s too late. So, the second I hear that piano into, I’m a blubbering mess and it can totally ruin my entire day and mood...'

-cold
26The Hotelier
It Never Goes Out

'An Ode To The Nite Ratz Club'

'This song never ceases to put a lump in my throat that I cannot clear no matter how I try. A year and a half ago my partner put this song on, because they told me it reminded them of me. It reminded us of drunken shenanigans, breaking into abandoned places, and traveling to empty fields in search for fun. It also reminded us of how we finally found someone to confide in; all the pain we endured from self-harm, recklessness, desperation. They passed away last November, and this was one of the first songs that I listened to after it all happened. I think of that night every single day, but this song at the very least reminds me of our vulnerability, and finally feeling some happiness within each other'

-Minushuman24
27Amenra
Mass III

'Am Kreuz'

'I developed some mad neurological condition that fucked my sight up. Docs wouldn't accept its a brain condition. I travelled round the world for 11 years on and off at least 6 months a time,sometimes years and I stopped for the first time. First world problems I know,but that was entire life. Get any job,save,travel until money has gone. Repeat. Finished. I was in a bad place, Staying at a friends. My head was going under. Worse than I realised at the time. I put Amenras live 23.10 DVD on randomly, I was a fan for years but didn't get some of the over adulation for them. I broke the fk down in front of 2 of my mates when Colin was doing the suspension and Caro Oathbreaker finished the track as hes hanging in the air ('Aorte/Ritual).I Dunno. It Was a moment.'

-Deez

See below for the rest of description and a TVZ shout!
28Alice in Chains
Jar of Flies

'Nutshell'

'Was my ex's favorite song. Takes me back to lovely, happy and drunken evenings and tears my heart out from incredible love lost every time I hear it. It's not the song itself so much as the emotional connection to the feeling of hearing it. The song literally leaves me utterly obliterated every time I hear it. I will never be able to love like that again.'

-evilford
29Frodus
And We Washed Our Weapons In The Sea

'6/99'

'This reminds me of all the choices I wish I had made and reminds me of the breakdown of a friendship I had recently. It hit me two years ago and that feeling still reverberates with me today.'

- ResidentNihilist
30The Verve
Urban Hymns

'Drugs Don't Work'

'Reminds me too much of a point in my life when I became reliant on self medicating with alcohol and Adderall (a year sober now tho so that's great). This song hasn't been scientifically proven to be the most depressing song written for nothing'

-TVC15
31El-P
I'll Sleep When You're Dead

'The League of Extraordinary Nobodies'

A selection of lyrics:
"Another room up in the tombs, an ugly substance
Where the grave diggers are shoveling that dirt up in her heads
The very fact is that I'm sitting here with zombies talking endlessly
But couldn't tell you one thing that was said
I get surrounded by the friendliest of strangers
Who would sooner kill themselves than give a fuck if I were dead"

(additional shout to Leonard Cohen - Dress Rehearsal Rag)

-MiloRuggles
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