Winrar
User

Soundoffs 5
Album Ratings 496
Objectivity 81%

Last Active 03-03-13 9:08 am
Joined 02-20-12

Review Comments 1,721

 Lists
05.11.13 Touhou Project Music02.27.13 Dark Souls Ranked
02.12.13 Your Methods Of Playing Music01.22.13 Rec Me Japanese Music
01.08.13 New Pokemon Gen12.29.12 Anime Of 2012
12.27.12 Winrar's 201211.30.12 Real Games
11.08.12 Top Moments In The Simpsons10.30.12 Skating
10.19.12 Skyrim = Morrowind For Special Kids 10.09.12 100 Skramz/emo
10.07.12 How To Actually Pick Up Women10.03.12 Greatest Video Game Music
04.26.12 Gaming04.25.12 Lest We Forget

Skyrim = Morrowind For Special Kids

4proggy
1 
Album


Story- Fuck storytelling, we want a game that's easier for people to digest. Let's
make a game about a legendary hero who slays dragons to save the world. Now,
that's some genius storytelling right there.
2 Band
Album


Gameplay- Okay, remember when RPGs involved strategic thinking and dedication
to clear monsters so players get a great sense of satisfaction after tough battles?
FUCK THAT. Let's get rid of half the spells and skills to limit gameplay, add some
fully sick slow motion scenes and have Michael Bay design the combat system.
Let's make some skills break the game so more kiddies can rape dragons!
3 Band
Album


Characters: Now, we want players to feel that THEY'RE the most important
character in the game. This is easier for us so we don't need to bother coming up
with an interesting character that people will remember. Let's throw the same
shitty voice actors on everyone and the only slightly unique character is a shitty
joker clone. If other characters were cooler than the dovahkin, the kids will feel
shitty.
4 
Album


Monsters: Okay, guys remember that game we made called Morrowind? Yeah, we
had some pretty unique ideas for monsters... Ummmm... Can you guys think of
any more monsters? No? Let's add Dragons, that's never been done in an RPG
before. We want our players to feel comfortable fighting monsters that they're
familiar with, i mean, who would want to fight something completely new and
learn to develop strategies? Not our customers!
5 Band
Album


Dungeons: Add some bandits here... place some bear traps here and there. let's
put an iron helmet of restoration at the end of the dungeon. We want our kids to
feel rewarded for wasting half an hour on these shitty dungeons, so we feel that a
special helmet for special kids would be perfect.
6 Band
Album


Environments: With maxed graphics, our water looks like water from Pokemon
Emerald! Except twice as gay and no surfing. We wouldn't want our kids to feel
any sort of immersion, we want kids to keep studying and being good kids, not
addicts!
7 
Album


Quests: Okay, how do we engage our players without coming up with any sort of
interesting quest? ...How about we reuse the same quest, change the location,
change the quest giver and change the reward? BRILLIANT IDEA. Killing bandits
at Point A and killing bandits at Point B would be two completely different quests!
8 
Album


Difficulty: Okay, we want our kids to feel special for completing our game, how
about we make a master difficulty level where enemies hit twice the damage and
have twice the health pool? Of course, there would be no strategy at this difficulty
level, just longer battles but if we call it MASTER difficulty, our players will think
that its' actually hard!
Show/Add Comments (72)

STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2023 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy