PotsyTater
Lol I Heard The New Lights Album Isnt On Spotify So Tundra Cant Add It To His Playlist
User

Soundoffs 24
Album Ratings 576
Objectivity 78%

Last Active 10-22-22 4:28 pm
Joined 07-16-10

Review Comments 10,101

 Lists
08.04.23 BARBIE ACTORS RANKED BY HOW MUCH ESSENC06.25.23 Words Johnny Thinks He Invented ♦
06.24.23 DIGS, JUNE 23 '2306.23.23 Sput Dreams
06.22.23 DIGS, JUNE 21 '2306.18.23 POTS DANCE COMP RESULTS
06.04.23 POTS DANCE COMP FINALS05.27.23 Unfathomably Based Users
05.12.23 POTS REC COMP 2: MAKE ME DANCE (VAGUE)05.06.23 Neo-Soul, Nu-Jazz, Downtempo, Inst. Hip ♦
04.28.23 EARNESTLY 5'ING EVERYTHING ♦04.17.23 POTS COMP RESULTS (POP)
04.15.23 POTS COMP ROUND 2 (POP) ♦04.06.23 REC COMPETITION REAL PRIZES!!!!!!!! APR ♦
04.04.23 FIXED Vol. 1: Fifteen Oceans ♦03.03.23 2023 Dig Log
09.30.22 Overlooked Hip-Hop Part 2: A Playlist ♦09.12.22 Overlooked Hip-Hop Part 1: A Playlist
More »

EARNESTLY 5'ING EVERYTHING

It's been many years since I stopped rating earnestly. Discussion with Johnny, Pizza, and Ryus inspired me to take a stab at making a list of what my 5's would actually look like if I were to compile them now.
1Massive Attack
Mezzanine

GUIDELINES:

I want to compile a list of personal 5's that act as a musical self-portrait. I won't be considering legacy, cultural relevance, or other somewhat objective feats of an album that might define an album as "classic". In fact, I will largely be ignoring that descriptor in general. Instead, for the purposes of this list, I want a '5' to be as personal and subjective as possible. Each album has to have been somewhat "formative" to me at some point in my life, but it also needs to remain relevant today. I need to have spent a significant amount of time with it IN IT'S ENTIRETY. I don't need to consider it to be perfect as long as the imperfections are small enough to be compensated for by personal significance. However, it can't include albums that are merely comprised of a significant amount of formative SONGS...
2Massive Attack
Mezzanine

A lot of my formative SONGS don't come from ALBUMS that are necessarily formative ON THE WHOLE, and that usually means that those songs have been played to death OUTSIDE the context of the album, in personal playlists and such. I might make a list of formative SONGS another time.

I will re-listen to each album that I think has been formative enough to my life to potentially be a 5 and deem them 5-coded IF they STILL make me feel something. If they are distant formative albums, they must have withstood the test of time, carrying with them the lingering reek of sentimentality/nostalgia.

After I feel I have completed my 5's list I propose that JohnnyoftheWell creates one of his "5's on 5's" lists, pitting my 5's against Sowing's 5's, where if the results deem me the loser I may log-off permanently from this website, and also from life as we know it.
3Lapalux
Ruinism

I started off with this today. Reeks of 5. A foul miasma of despair, near-death, heartache, and rebirth. A 5 has never been 5'd so firmly. The earnestness with which I 5 this is unwavering and impenetrable. Just disgustingly five-coded and ouch-my-soul-pilled.

VERDICT: A FIVE
4Gold Panda
Lucky Shiner

The stench of five wafts through the ether. Notes of being nineteen. Past relationships. Hopeful times. Darts in the van. Snowy winters. How often do you buy a record purely based off the album art and it turns out to be a full-bodied five for lifers?

VERDICT: STILL A FIVE
5Flying Lotus
Until the Quiet Comes

A tickle on the nose. Is this the essence of five adrift through the air like freshly baked goods at the bakery around the corner? I follow the scent and… behold! Visions of drug use and drug youth. Music videos that punch the gut. The nose doesn’t lie.

VERDICT: FIVE
6Andy Stott
Faith in Strangers

Ah. Old friend. How many times your musk has implanted new memories into my brain sack. I did my homework with you. Just received holy grail a couple weeks ago. There is no smell. Only taste. I lick the grail. The grail tastes of an old special friend sending me Violence and my tendie brain melting after hearing it for the first time. It tastes of sharing glorious and hedonistic summer fling, too much cocaine, a certain hotel room. It tastes of first meeting my life-partner online and seeing a video of her dancing to Violence and instantly falling in love. It tastes of card stock because the sleeve is made of card stock. It tastes distinctly of five.

VERDICT: HAUNTINGLY FIVE
7Taylor McFerrin
Early Riser

Smells like the son of one of my grandmas favourite artists of all time sparking inter-generational memories. Stinks of the deep-dank of more summer love. Musical spins. Brickyard. Pembroke house. Ah, best friend and old lover I eagerly anticipate being one of your bridesmaids. I might actually wear a dress. You are forever welcome for this album. This has sat wet in the 5-washer for five too long.

VERDICT: MILDEWED WITH FIVE
8James Blake
James Blake

Quintessentially perfectly imperfect. There’s not an album that reminds me more of you. Sounds like more wintry nights in the van 2011, stale cigarette smoke, hopeless doomer romance. Every twist and turn in the road to your house in the suburbs, every strip of thrifted fabric you borrowed and became your own.

VERDICT: SICKENINGLY FIVE
9Nicolas Jaar
Space Is Only Noise

Twin Peaks and acid weeks, homemaking pies and drinking coffee too late. The lizard lamp. Mattamantis. Winter jams under the bridge at the reservoir. I remember the colours of our jackets. Spinning out in your broken rust bucket down the icy hill to Eric’s in horrified silence.

VERDICT: NEAR DEATH 5
10Long Arm
The Branches

The cabin living room warping in perspective as two decades pass. The smells. Owls starring and other memorable trinkets. Grandpa’s chair. His stack of newspapers. The cane’s and bellow’s I’d vent my boredom on. Pipe-cleaner figures. Grandma’s jazz cassettes filling the air. A retrospective in art school. RIP.

VERDICT: LITERALLY STINKS OF FIVE
11Binary Star
Masters of the Universe

New era. Faking adulthood. Hoofin’ Victoria, early college. The View Street apartment filling with aromatic truffle oil and the shockingly palatable vegan sausage you cooked me. Drinking rose water and gin punch in the apple tree. The way I thought you were too cool for me til you ate shit off your longboard cuz you were too drunk and then I realized we were just right. But not everything evokes. So many missing puzzle pieces. Formative songs, but not a formative album.

VERDICT: NOT A 5
12Black Moon
Enta Da Stage

Memories and associations elude. This one does not reek of anything in particular, except perhaps stale bong tokes and malt liquor. My mean-muggin’ album. That summer-time, roll the window down, be-that-asshole-waking-up-the-neighborhood album. It exudes confidence. It’s vibes manifesto. It’s that make a white boy feel hard shit. I simply could not do without it.

VERDICT: POWER 5
13The Knife
Live at Terminal 5

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14King Krule
6 Feet Beneath the Moon

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15Lazarus
Hawk Medicine

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