BigHans
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Sputnik's Football Team (real Football. American Football)

So this is how I would field a real football team with Sputnik users, and notice I said real football which doesn't mean soccer. I did this fast so if I forgot you state your case and position. Will run a pro-style 2 RB, 2 WR offense and a 3-4 defensive base set.
1Metallica
Master of Puppets


Tackles - I am the left tackle because that is what I played and I dominated. Redskyformiles is the right tackle because he's smart and pissy enough to play the position.
2Metallica
Ride the Lightning


Guards - Hawks at left guard because left guards have to pull alot and you have to be fast, nasty, and out of your mind (see Hawk's FB statuses). AcornCheese at Right Guard because he knows football and can handle it.
3Metallica
Metallica


Center - The Academy - to play this position you have to have smarts (I think he does), and you have to be fat (I think he is in real life)
4Metallica
Load


Running Backs - Inveigh, Porch, Maniac. Inveigh because he was once a mighty athelete, and Porch talks so much shit that either 1. He is really Goddamn fast or 2. He is tough as Goddamn nails. Plus the dude is Irish, they are fucking WIREY by nature. Maniac is the fullback because he is a big kid who knows Judo. As the head coach, it will be my job to get him fired up for games. Ill just make fun of him being a virgin and tell him his taste in music sucks hard and that should do the trick.
5Metallica
Death Magnetic


Wide Receivers - SeaAnemone, Apollo, Sowing. Apollo just looks fast and he has serious anger management issues, making him the best option to go across the middle. Sowing is the graceful All American Boy who won't go across the middle but will get the glory. Sea is very fast from his years in gay cross country and he too will probably not go across the middle. All 3 will compete for biggest diva award.
6Metallica
ReLoad


Tight End: RosaParks - no Explanation Needed.
7Metallica
Metal Up Your Ass


Defensive Linemen: Dnor, UhhKris, and Willie. Dnor is a big dude so he is the nose tackle, meaning his job is to stand there, not get moved, and make sure the linebackers don't get blocked. UhhKris admitted he was fat so he will play weak-side defensive end, where his job is merely to stop the run and get in the way. Willie is a beast, so he is on the strong side, rushing the passer and taking on double teams from tight ends and tackles.
8Megadeth
Rust in Peace


Outside Linebackers: Balls, Someguest, Wolfhorde. Balls will play the strong side because he works out alot and is certifiably fucking insane. Someguest will play mop up duty on the weakside, his real job will be to antagonize everyone and start fights, which shouldnt be a problem. Wolfhorde will fill in for either one at either spot.
9Megadeth
Countdown to Extinction


Inside Linebackers. This is where the beasts play. On the strong side is Relinquished, because he purports to be 6'4, 240, and a blackbelt in something. That qualifies. MetallicOpeth qualifies because, well, have you fucking SEEN this guy?
10Anthrax
Among the Living


Corner Backs - Chambered, Satty, Weeping, Feit, Rabbit. Chambered will be on the other teams #1 receiver cause he has a rad jew fro and because he's batshit insane. Satty will be on the weak side until he starts eating meat. Weeping, Feit, and Rabbit will be the quintessential scrappy undersized nickel and dime backs. Feit will require more coniditiong because he has the lungs of a 70 year old from blazing weed on an hourly basis.
11Anthrax
Worship Music


Safeties - Angel, Mallen (Evedder27). Angel looks like a classy guy but I think he would play dirty so he is the classic Polumalu type, meaning his job is to mostly act as another linebacker and occasionaly play pass coverage. Mallen is smart, which will be neccessary at Free Safety covering for Chambered on the 3 times per game he forgets to cover a guy and tries to either chew his face off or jerk him off instead.
12Anthrax
Spreading the Disease


Special Teams: Kick/Punt Returner: Masochist - he looks fast, and Im not saying that because he's black. Other random special teams guys who are here either because 1. They are crazier than a shithouse rat 2. Look Scary, or 3. Know football - Mappy, Dryden, Dante, Trebor17, Demons, yeti
13Slayer
Hell Awaits


Quarterbacks - Pit, Qwe. Pit has that down on his luck, scrappy, nobody believes in me, ballsy attitude that all great QBs must have. More than a game manager, Pit is a fearless leader, and came up studying under the likes of great Miami qbs like Gino Terrota. Qwe is the backup QB because he's really pretty and bangs cheerleaders.
14Slayer
Seasons in the Abyss


Head Coach - Me. When not dominating at left tackle, i will serve as defensive coordinator. I like to consider myself a young Rex Ryan. While dominating at left tackle, I will either call plays on the line of scrimmage or in the huddle.
15Slayer
Reign In Blood


Mascots - Sonic and KILL. Their job is to soley talk shit and pick fights with the other teams mascots and fans. Sonic will steal one of the Milwaukee Brewers' sausage mascots and spray paint THE METAL WILL NEVER DIE all over it and just act like a fucking psychopath. KILL will go as himself.
162Pac
Me Against the World


Waterboy - Progmaster. Equipment Manager - Fade.
17Type O Negative
October Rust


Cheerleaders - whichever 4 Sputnik female users have the biggest racks.
18Johnny Cash
At Folsom Prison


Random Utility Men (meaning they can play multiple positions) - Josh D, DominionMM1
19Clutch
Blast Tyrant


Offensive Players I forgot to mention
20Clutch
Robot Hive/Exodus


Defensive Players I forgot to mention:
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