Prophet178
Alex C. Soothsayer
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Sputnik Music Festival

With the recent announcement of the annual P4K Fest lineup, I got to thinking, what if Sputnik had it's own music festival? Hmmm....
1Main Stage

Three of Sputnik's favorite children would come on one after the other and everyone in the audience would jizz their collective pants thrice times.
2Animal Collective

AnCo would end the night by playing all the fan favorites including Would What I Want? Sky, Fireworks, Leaf House, Lion in a Coma and an encore of Brothersport. They wouldn't play My Girls and everyone would bitch about it the next day.
3Brand New

Brand New would come on and play Devil & God in it's entirety for the first time ever. Then they would confirm they are breaking up and Play Crack the Sky. Sputnik would cry.
4Converge

Bannon would dish out punches to the dome to anyone who doesn't "get" Jane Doe on Sputnik. After all the pussies were weeded out Converge would play a 15 minute set consisting of about 30 songs.
5Post- Stage

The misfits that don't fit in a real genre but we love them anyway.
6Mono

Mono would headline the post stage because Godspeed broke up. Qwe would bitch about how boring they are while everyone else praises them like gods.
7ISIS

Isis would come out and all the Neurosis fans would leave. So about 5 people. Relinquished would throw a fit because Irepress didn't get the spot.
8Japandroids

Japandroids would open and all the girls with wet hair would be dancing. Oh wait, theres no girls at the festival because it's a Sputnik music festival. Nevermind.
9Metal Stage

Just cause.
10Opeth

Opeth would headline and Akerfeldt would ask the audience which album they like more, Blackwater Park or Still Life causing a massive riot to break out. Opeth would play Black Rose Immortal for the first time ever then walk off stage and join the fight.
11Between The Buried & Me

BTB&M would play an hour long set of one song, which would then get reviewed by everyone the next day.
12Burzum

Burzum would open and after they finished Balls and Varg would go on a church burning run. Half the audience would start begging for black metal recs too.
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