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Reviews 92 Approval 79%
Soundoffs 253 News Articles 4 Band Edits + Tags 305 Album Edits 465
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Last Active 10-24-22 3:41 am Joined 11-16-06
Review Comments 17,533
| Sonic's Mixtape For The Perfect Bitch
well sowing made a gay list so i figured i'd make a better one. these are the jams i'd put on a CD for my bitch. | 1 | emerson lake and palmer karn evil 9
whether or not she gets through this song will show how dedicated she is to you. you already proved your dedication to her by putting songs on a CD. karn evil 9 is a classic, all the dads out there know it, and it's 29 minutes long, but bitches hate it. a regular bitch who dont give a shit about you will skip to the next song after about 5 seconds of keyboards because keyboards are not crunk or swag, they take skill and precision. if your bitch listens to the lyrics of this amazing song, she will see that you really do care about her very much - with lyrics like "come inside, come inside" and "fighting cocks" and "roll up see the shoooow," your girlfriend will surely get some sexy vibes. not to mention "no computer stands in my way" is a reference to popping a bitch's cherry. also greg lake is handsome as it gets. your girl will hate the song but if she's a dedicated girlfriend she will tolerate it and appreciate the message of the song and definitely perform some brain salad surgery on you in the bedroom that night. | 2 | love beach
most girls arent smart enough to like karn evil 9. most girls arent smart enough to like guitar solos. luckily this song has none. if a girl is likely to enjoy any ELP tune, it's this one. it's short and sweet and you dont have to think, so your girl will bop her head to it and wanna bang you hard later. this will also get her hopes up for a trip to the beach, and girls are suckers for songs about beaches, just ask any indie girl: they love wavves and best coast cause they wear thrift store clothes and sing about the beach. so just tell your girlfriend that this is a wavves song or a beirut song or fuckin arcade fire or any shit like that and she'll spread her legs hard. | 3 | phil collins sussudio
just ask pat bateman. if there's any song that gets a girl ready for pussy, it's this one. she'll even eat a girl's asshole if you play this track, as opposed to just staring at it like normal. | 4 | tiffany i think we're alone now
any girl alive in 1987 loved this song. now, while we were all listening to the first heathen album and hold your fire, all the girls were jammin this. it sucks dick but every female loves it. | 5 | diamond head sucking my love
this is what you play when you finally get to the part where you're about to fuck her hard. be sure to do air guitar during the solo while she whips some skull on ya. | |
AngelofDeath
01.27.12 | Can't
stop
laughing,
hahahahaha. | Scoot
01.27.12 | thanks sonic!!! | theacademy
01.27.12 | pos | AngelofDeath
01.27.12 | One note, though, Sonic, if I may: Shouldn't you be trying to get the girl ready for dick and not pussy? | balcaen
01.27.12 | that is actually aight | AngelofDeath
01.27.12 | Oh, right. Of course.
Scissor me timbers! | Hyperion1001
01.27.12 | awesome | AngelofDeath
01.27.12 | There's a girl that's been on my mind... | BallsToTheWall
01.27.12 | this is les bos!! (2) | Tyrannic
01.27.12 | hahhahahhahha yes | taylormemer
01.27.12 | 333333333333333 | KILL
01.27.12 | lmao fuck yea | Parallels
01.27.12 | feature plz | Sowing
01.27.12 | lol this is pretty funny. nice job.
| Chrisjon89
01.28.12 | hahahaha
"keyboards are not crunk or swag, they take skill and precision." | Crysis
01.28.12 | was watching top gear last night and the stig was listening to elp when he was driving around the track was like m/ | KILL
01.28.12 | yea clarkson loves prog, his fav band is genesis | Relinquished
01.28.12 | lmao tiffany | bloc
01.28.12 | 4 rules hard
Mixtape for the hottest bitch ever | JohnnyoftheWell
01.28.12 | list should be taught at school | taylormemer
01.28.12 | Hard Bangs Inc. - the result of this list | balcaen
01.28.12 | isn't it hard jams inc or am i missing something | ShadowRemains
01.28.12 | hard JAMS inc
ifyaknowwutimean | JamieTwort
01.29.12 | lol this is awesome. | AngelofDeath
01.29.12 | I Think We're Alone now came on while I was in the package store yesterday. Almost busted out laughing. | Crysis
01.29.12 | "yea clarkson loves prog, his fav band is genesis"
another reason to love top gear i suppose... earlier in the episode he was talking about king crimson, camel, genesis and elp i was like fuck yeah | JamieTwort
01.29.12 | Top Gear is great. | Crysis
01.29.12 | @Sonic - It's Top Gear, a British car show. Literally the best show on television. Don't watch the American version because it sucks (America usually fucks everything up so what do you expect) but the UK version is amazing. | Crysis
01.29.12 | you don't have to know about or even like cars to love this show | JamieTwort
01.29.12 | ^This. | Crysis
01.29.12 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbO_CaGJXZ4
fast forward to 7:30 and listen |
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