Scott Krasman

Reviews 31
Approval 93%

Soundoffs 207
News Articles 7
Band Edits + Tags 14
Album Edits 30

Album Ratings 1546
Objectivity 78%

Last Active 12-01-14 11:46 pm
Joined 05-29-05

Forum Posts 11,321
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01.23.14 Bieber Dui11.15.13 It's Agalloch Time
09.28.13 I Fixed Pound Cake09.21.13 I'm Turning 23
08.31.13 Hubardo08.18.13 I Am Tom Hanks
07.12.13 New Dropped Flyer Ep 06.10.13 Socially Awkward Moments
06.05.13 Some Lesser Known Stuff 05.22.13 Xbox One
05.16.13 A Daft Punk Remix04.20.13 Sum 41 Ranked
03.16.13 Got Wheels?03.12.13 The 20/20 Experience
02.26.13 Put My Dog Down02.17.13 Holy Shit
02.06.13 Scoot Drops New Track 01.31.13 Gta V Gets Delayed
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Cream Of The Crap v3.0

1Abandon All Ships!

Haha oh man...with an acronym like AAS, at least their name is fitting. Fuck this band with a rusty spoon. Honestly, I'm pretty sure Attack Attack! probed the anal regions of the autotune/metalcore genre, and it resulted in the birth of crabcore. What in the holy mother of goat piss was this band trying to accomplish with this album? It's essentially a giant copy-and-paste of Someday Came Suddenly, which was a garbage album in its own right. The transitions are about as enthralling as shoving bamboo slits up your fingernails, and then dipping your hands in a barrel of salt. I'm sure Hot Topic will be all over these guys' nuts in the coming months. Then again, so will scene boys. And fuck, just look at that display pic. If that doesn't make you want to punch them all in the sternum, you have self-control.
2Never Shout Never
What is Love?

Here we go...Christofer fucking Drew ladies and gents. One often asks, "how in Moses' gooch does a scene kid with straightened hair wearing bear hats get laid?" Well, the answer lies within his music. His two greatest weapons are a ukulele and "love"...pretty sure that gets you a face full of a jock's armpit in today's society. And for fuck's sake...he actually has a song called Jane Doe? If that's not a slap in the face to Converge, I don't know what is. Hopefully they Fault and Fracture this kid's career, because now they really do have Hell to Pay, leaving them Bitter and Then Some. I think his mangina would invert.
3A Skylit Drive

Post-hardcore is the new metalcore. That is, bands that choke on dick can just label themselves "post-hardcore" and boom, there's a career. Will they stand out? Fuck no. Oh god, this guy abuses whiny vocals to a new level...did all post-hardcore singers have to undergo castration as some sort of fucked up prerequisite to being in a band? "A Skylit Drive, we like you and we want to sign you. But your singer's voice isn?t high enough, so you won't get any girls to come to your shows." /unsheaths scalpel. And these lyrics are generic as hell..."The movement in her hips strikes the hour as the poison sets in" So deep, man. I'd rather staple my eyelids to sandpaper while slamming my head in a car door than sit through this album.
4Down With Webster
Time To Win Vol. I

Watch the video for Whoa Is Me. Enough said. Fucking horrible. Like inserting a cucumber through your ear canal and having it come out your nose. White guys can't rap, except for a few exceptions, and this is just furthering this stereotype. And to top it off, they labeled it Volume I, as if they expect a whole whack of shitty albums. "Whoa is me, I'm so whoa, See me decked out from my head to my toe. Rock guitar and ten shots of whisky, got a chain on mah neck and a massive hickey" He forgot to mention he had his neck on an elephant's asshole.
5Owl City
Ocean Eyes

Or Owl Shitty, as he has come to be known, Adam Young is a cancer. You've heard Fireflies and wanted to dip your ears in battery acid, but no. The rest of the album is even worse. Whiny vocals are so hawt, like totally. And lyrics about getting hugged by lightning bugs just make my life. This sounds like the ramblings of a lonely boy that wants to appear "sophisticated" but ends up sounding like a psycho. If I was having dreams of waking up in a jar with fireflies, I'd commit myself. Oh, here's a soft section...whispering will get them panties to the ground, for sure. Fat chicks around the world are orgasming all over their bedspreads. If that doesn't make you puke, this album will.
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