SIMBOLIC
11.23.12 | hey broskies
just take her somwhere special and tell her how you feel. Worst case scenario she says no and its awkward for a while. but then you know its not gonna happen and you can move on to someone else. Better to try and fail then wait and wonder |
tommygun
11.23.12 | Hmm sounds like you might be in the friendzone unless she is a really shy type of girl? |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | She's a weird one. She's really peppy, but then gets really shy at random times (e.g. I asked about her artwork and after she answered she just kind of went 'um...whyyyy?' - as if my interest was weird.)
I'm genuinely interested in her stuff, btw. Not just trying to score. She's a decent artist and a better writer than I am. |
InFiction
11.23.12 | Yeah, it sounds cliche, but the worst that can happen is she says no. And I find that things are only awkward if people go out of their way to make them awkward. So if you treat everything like normal, she'll likely mirror how you act. |
SIMBOLIC
11.23.12 | just ask her out at a good time (like a personal or deep moment). Its better than wondering wat could have been man. trust me on that one |
SgtPepper
11.23.12 | Didn't you already make a list about the same girl?
I really think you should just go for it. Ask her out and tell her how you feel. But if it doesn't work out, let her know that you're okay with being friends (even if it kills you) and that it won't ruin your friendship. You have to get over the fear of rejection, otherwise you'll miss out on a lot of opportunities to meet some great girls. This could be one of those situations. Dont miss out on your chance.
At least, that's the way I see it. |
BigBlob
11.23.12 | Bake her a cake. |
SIMBOLIC
11.23.12 | just ask her out at a good time (like a personal or deep moment). Its better than wondering wat could have been man. trust me on that one ;) |
Puzzles
11.23.12 | Don't shit where you eat, and remember: there's no such thing as "no strings attached". |
SIMBOLIC
11.23.12 | woah why did i post the same thing twice????
neway, just get two tickets to ac/dc or QotSA next time theyre in town ;) |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | "there's no such thing as "no strings attached"." if she doesn't know where you live or work then you're set |
Oathbreaker
11.23.12 | show her your dick |
tommygun
11.23.12 | Is there ever any sexual tension? Does she ever flirt with you? I dunno dude you never know unless you try. Life is too short to just do nothing and then regret it.
Like simbolic said, worst case scenario it gets awkward for a while, but if it goes to shit just laugh it off and it'll be fine.
Just remember that girls dig confidence so act confident even if inside you're nervous as hell. Don't act needy and don't pour your heart out and profess undying love, play it casual. Things are only awkward and embarrassing if you make it that way. |
SIMBOLIC
11.23.12 | find the clitoris ;) |
barcafan21
11.23.12 | "Better to try and fail then wait and wonder"
truth |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | find the clitoris ;)[2] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31WZjM2bl-0 |
barcafan21
11.23.12 | also, respect to you for actually being interested in a girl instead of just trying to get the johnson wet |
SIMBOLIC
11.23.12 | what a world we live in when a dude gets respect for liking a girl instead of jus trying to fuck her |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | totally gay |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | "Is there ever any sexual tension? Does she ever flirt with you? I dunno dude you never know unless you try. Life is too short to just do nothing and then regret it.
Like simbolic said, worst case scenario it gets awkward for a while, but if it goes to shit just laugh it off and it'll be fine.
Just remember that girls dig confidence so act confident even if inside you're nervous as hell. Don't act needy and don't pour your heart out and profess undying love, play it casual. Things are only awkward and embarrassing if you make it that way."
I actually am flawless around her. She's really easy to get on with, so I'm never awkward or shy or nervous. If anything I put on too much of a macho act - but that's about as close as I get to being a phony around her.
Obviously she knows where I live (:p) and I'm not looking for 'no strings attached', I want A RELATIONSHIP. I don't even care if we have sex. Which I guess is about the only thing separating us from being bf and gf at this point, so maybe asking her to date me would be pointless. Know what I mean?
Also, yeah, never was a player and never will be.
As far as flirting, some things she said might have been construed as flirting from a certain angle, but I don't think so. |
InfamousGrouse
11.23.12 | " I share a house with this girl..."
well there's your answer |
ButteryBiscuitBass
11.23.12 | Just take her out if you get on as mates, don't mention it as a date, just do something nice mate. You'll soon know what to do by her reaction. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | ^I did. We went out twice - once to see Skyfall and once to see fireworks. Would have gone out a third time but I couldn't make it. Probably going to go again at some point. Not hard to ask her out either, but nothing happens other than we're mates. |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.23.12 | Bake her a cake. [2] |
tommygun
11.23.12 | "Obviously she knows where I live (:p) and I'm not looking for 'no strings attached', I want A RELATIONSHIP. I don't even care if we have sex. Which I guess is about the only thing separating us from being bf and gf at this point, so maybe asking her to date me would be pointless. Know what I mean?"
Based on this, the only thing that should change if you got together would be the addition of physical connection. You seem like the type of dude for whom sex isn't the be-all and end-all, and that's fair enough, but in my experience sexual intimacy with somebody you really care for is a wonderful thing. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Well to be fair I used to be that type of dude, but I was only getting over some immaturity issues. At this point, it's more important for me to not be lonely than to bang. Read: would rather have a girlfriend and no sex than a one-night stand where I still woke up lonely the next day. If that makes sense. |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.23.12 | Seriously though, I'd say to take it as feels natural; don't do anything too contrived or whatever, just ask her out when it feels right |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.23.12 | Read: would rather have a girlfriend and no sex than a one-night stand where I still woke up lonely the next day. If that makes sense.
+1 |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | huh? makes no sense, does not compute. |
Havey
11.23.12 | rob zombie wtf |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | "At this point, it's more important for me to not be lonely than to bang."
is this girl someone you truly want to be with, or is she just someone you want to take away your loneliness? |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.23.12 | It's a Baseline |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | No. I want to be with her. I miss her when we're not together. She went to Scotland and I was mad jealous imagining her being flirted with by older guys who looked like Gerard Butler. I actually think she is too cool for someone like me, and almost want to sabotage myself. I walk past signs advertising pub quiz nights and I see us doing that as a couple. It's serious, mate. I've only ever felt this way with two other girls before. |
tommygun
11.23.12 | "Read: would rather have a girlfriend and no sex than a one-night stand where I still woke up lonely the next day. If that makes sense."
Yeah I get you, one night stands can be a lot of fun and I wouldn't say they've ever made me feel lonely but I certainly understand what you mean and that you're at a point where you're looking for something more. You said she's geeky - sometimes they're the ones you gotta look out for man, could be a freak in the sack m/
But yeah good luck man I hope it works out for ya. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | well, if that's the case, go for it. play it cool, but be honest and tell her how you feel. |
InfamousGrouse
11.23.12 | She went to Scotland and I was mad jealous imagining her being flirted with by older guys who looked like Gerard Butler.
dunno if you've been to scotland but i can confirm instead of toned spartans the populace generally consists of drunks stumbling around looking for a lighter and bitching about the football scores. you need not have worried. |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.23.12 | ^^^so true |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | i've been in this exact situation. roommate, obvious that we both liked eachother but i never made a move and she started banging this other dude. turned out that we were too close and i couldn't view all her flaws objectively and i realized later on what a dumb cunt she was. kind of a relief. but yea, gonna be hard to live together if you profess your feelings and she doesn't have the same feelings towards you. gotta weigh out all the different scenarios that might go down with whatever you choose to do |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Don't make it a big thing and don't rely on "hints". Just be strait forward and let her know you are interested in her but you don't want to make things awkward if she doesn't feel the same way. Hopefully that will make you feel better that you put it out there but not make her feel uncomfortable at the same time.
"At this point, it's more important for me to not be lonely than to bang."
Do NOT portray this to her... there is nothing worse than a dude who is maudlin or fragile. Be confident and easy about it. Be prepared for her to say no and for you to accept that. Be content with the fact that there will no longer be a "what if" situation going on in your head. |
barcafan21
11.23.12 | put yourself out there. i regret not putting myself out there when i felt the same way about a girl as you do now; just go for it. you don't want to look back and ask yourself why you never told her. do it |
barcafan21
11.23.12 | what omnipanzer said |
menawati
11.23.12 | didnt someone post this exact thing a few weeks ago ? |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Last time I put myself out there, she said 'thanks but no thanks'. We remained friends, but she made a point of telling people about random guys she flirted with at the club...within earshot of me. I was a jackass back then though, I feel I'm much better now.
Also, I lived in Belfast - if guys in Scotland are anything like Northern Irishers...well, let's say I was a hit in Belfast :p However I was specifically thinking of older guys (40ish).
@Tommy I said geeky, not nerdy. She doesn't wear glasses, is definitely not meek, is quite loud and perky, but she writes fanfic and fangirls over Sanctuary, etc...
@omni like I said, I act surprisingly cool around her. I never even feel the butterflies I feel every time I address an above-average looking girl (which she is, although not exactly HOT, but you know...cute as hell.) I didn't even stutter while asking her out the first time, and made it out to not be a big deal if she couldn't go, that we could go at any time, etc. We ended up going at the set date though.
Above all, I am NOT lying or putting on an act to her about anything. If I say it's fine to go some other day, I mean it. When I say she writes better than me and is wasting her talent on fanfic amidst the pony-fuckers...I mean it. Etc etc etc. Not just saying the right things so I could get laid. If I was trying to do that, she would see through me in 5 seconds. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | @mena, Paperback, and others - I posted about her when we went to see Skyfall. That was early days, though. Things have developed since then, and now I'm at that point where I'm wondering what to do and how to do it. |
KSK1
11.23.12 | Yeah like people already said just tell her straight up. No bullshit games or hints just be genuine and tell her how you feel. It's up to you how you wanna word it but anything that is honest and straight forward will do it. If you guys are truly good friends awkwardness won't be an issue. I'll bet even if she says she's not into you like that she'll eventually grow to like you after she finds out you're into her.
My current girlfriend I knew for almost 2 years as a friend and she was the one who grew a pair and asked me if there was some kind of mutual attraction between us or if it was just her so you could ask her something like that. It's a little less "in your face" and she might feel less pressured to give you an answer. Good luck man |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | Last time I put myself out there, she said 'thanks but no thanks'.
how long ago was this? |
barcafan21
11.23.12 | lol the same thing happened to me KSK1
i'm just a wuss |
wanderlust
11.23.12 | Here have a tip: girls are like pokemon. It doesnt matter how good you are; you cant catch any if you dont have any balls.
|
jdennis31
11.23.12 | and you gotta catch em all |
KSK1
11.23.12 | Lol, yeah I was caught off guard when she asked me that but I was so glad she did cause I had thought about it a lot. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | 'Last time I put myself out there, she said 'thanks but no thanks'.
how long ago was this?'
Early 2011. |
barcafan21
11.23.12 | hahahaahahahahahahaha wanderlust
"Lol, yeah I was caught off guard when she asked me that but I was so glad she did cause I had thought about it a lot."
exactly what happened to me |
menawati
11.23.12 | advice.
If she wasn't up for it the first time don't bother. Even if you do win her around eventually she obviously isn't that keen and it'll be a pity fuck and end badly. Find another woman.
More advice - dont ask for advice about relationships on here. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | @mena I was talking about a completely different girl -_- |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | The girl who said thanks but no thanks is ANOTHER girl. Not this one. |
menawati
11.23.12 | see that's why this place is no good for advice, people cant even be assed to read the thread properly |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Actually you guys are helping me out quite a bit. I'm surprised :) |
barcafan21
11.23.12 | we gotcha back, man |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | "like I said, I act surprisingly cool around her."
Yah I read that afterwards, my point is simply that you want things to change so do something. You could say "shit or get off the pot" but that doesn't mean you can't be calculated about it. You can't have a positive or negative outcome by doing nothing. You have the ability/opportunity to finesse a positive outcome or at least make the negative outcome much less hurtful so do it already. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | I almost blurted it out the other night. Nothing awkward just 'hey, wanna date?', but I bit my tongue.
I also didn't make any of those cheesy moves (arm around her, etc) because she'd just pull away and not talk to me anymore, ever.
....which may still happen anyway. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-urkkbla48 just sing and play this song, 100% success rate |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | LOL @ people talking about Blink-182 in the context of a folk singer.
Can't listen (am at work), but I'm rubbish at singing. Best I can do is a crummy Johnny Rotten impression with a completely put-on accent. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | lol. i never read those comments before. stuff is pretty funny |
SeaAnemone
11.23.12 | "I also didn't make any of those cheesy moves (arm around her, etc) because she'd just pull away and not talk to me anymore, ever.
....which may still happen anyway."
lol how are you expecting anything to happen then? .... |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | ........................magic.................? |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | I just don't want her to be mad at me, and that's what usually happens whenever I make moves at girls. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | why would girls be mad at you. you don't take 'hitting on girls' at the literal sense i'm assuming. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | OF COURSE NOT >:-/
They just do. They're either like 'ew, nerd' or 'lol nerd' or 'I can't believe you'd try that with me, I thought you were my friend!!!!' Don't want either of these to happen with this girl. |
JohnnyoftheWell
11.23.12 | If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | werd. if thats the type of response you elicit when attempting to make a move then you may want to just say good riddance and go after someone a bit more compassionate than that. who wants to be with someone whos enough of a bitch to shoot someone down in such a negative way. just my opinion. your own self worth is way more important than what some chick thinks about ya |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Sounds like you are perpetually in the friend zone and need to break that trend. Start being a little more overt in your sexuality perhaps. Let people know you find them attractive etc. |
SeaAnemone
11.23.12 | probably just should try guys |
BloodandRainbows
11.23.12 | just go for it, man. take her somewhere nice so she knows you really care and have been thinking about it. the worst that can happen is she politely declines your offer, but hey, you bought dinner for her so she can't get too upset. sometimes you just have to step up to the plate. best of luck. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | "probably just should try guys"
Point has been made but clearly he needs to understand the mechanics a little better. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Guys would def be easier if it wasn't for the whole bum fucking bit. If it doesn't involve sex or attraction I definitely prefer hanging out with guys.
LOL omni saying those things usually gets me the same type of reaction, with a dash of contempt/disgust. So does trying to do gentlemanly things like walking them home or giving them compliments. So I pretty much gave up on all of those. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | If the chicks that are friends are getting mad at you for wanting to take the relationship to the next level you may be making the move in the wrong way or at all the wrong times. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | ...probably both. I'm a fuckup :D
Which is why it is surprising that she has 1. agreed to be seen with me in public, 2. more than once, and also why I think she deserves someone better. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | you contradict everything we're saying but the results speak for themselves my friend. The long and the short of it is that you need to shake shit up for yourself in a big way. Redefine your friendships with the ladies. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | "I think she deserves someone better."
That is about all we need to know. You have a confidence problem and you need to fix it. You can think you portray confidence but more than likely you really don't. Fix that pronto. are you a rapist or a pedifile... no? how about abusive toward women... still no? okay then maybe you look at it as they could do a hell of a lot worse than you and they often do. There you go you are a worthy human being with an urge to procreate. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Now go shag |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | honestly, if you're not secure with yourself enough to know that you're good enough for anyone. then you should hold off on getting into a relationship. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | or just bang her |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Omni, I actually have overcome my confidence problem (which I did have for many many years, blame high school). It's just that THIS PARTICULAR GIRL deserves better than some fuckup nerd who is barely taller than herself, dresses like her dad and has no idea how to even begin being cool. I don't think I could make her happy, and I want her to be happy. That's all. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | With most other girls I'm like 'yeah, your loss', but with this one I'm like 'go find someone who looks like Daniel Craig!!!! Stop wasting time with me!' |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | That is for her to decide not you. If you're happy with your self... then just stop over thinking about it. otherwise change the things you can. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Deciding that for her in advance is kneecapping yourself before your even out of the gate. You'll
never ever get a girl you want and respect with that line of thought. |
SeaAnemone
11.23.12 | omnipanzer is a wife torturer don't listen to him |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Lol Sea |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | why don't you think you could make her happy? |
anarchistfish
11.23.12 | "I share a house with this girl"
yeah I wouldn't be sure about fucking your sister |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Actually, I'm trying to actually figure out how come she DOES put up with me. Guess she has nothing better to do. But if that's the case, how come she asks to read stuff aloud to me (whilst saying things like 'I hope you don't mind if I bore you to tears with something I wrote' - but her writing's amazing, I feel like an idiot trying to be funny in comparison)? And how come she actually laughs at stuff I say and remembers stories I tell, etc?
I would say she fancies me if she wasn't the same way with our other housemate (who's out of the closet, and therefore harmless, BUT STILL). I have a feeling she's this way with EVERYONE. Not the flirty bit, just the chatty and friendly bit. Which makes me not special in her eyes.
Am I making sense? lol |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Dwelling on the height thing is just self defeating. She might care about your height but she very well may not. It's really a 50/50 as it is with anyone. You are creating an exclusion where there really isn't one. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Anarchist fuck you. That's disgusting. I live away from home. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | how old are you omni? |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | The height thing is just an example, because most girls I see say 'please only taller men than myself, I like to feel safe with them, etc'. Let's say that if we got mugged this girl would probably hit the mugger harder than me - and then give him a bollocking, LOL. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | listen to omni. he seems to know what he's talking about. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | "I would say she fancies me if she wasn't the same way with our other housemate (who's out of the closet, and therefore harmless, BUT STILL). I have a feeling she's this way with EVERYONE. Not the flirty bit, just the chatty and friendly bit. Which makes me not special in her eyes."
This is normal for people who over analyse a relationship they want to advance. We cannot deduct anything by that entry, except that you are normal. ;-) |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | so get big |
anarchistfish
11.23.12 | lol |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | "how old are you omni?"
It's common knowledge to some around here that I am 35. I do tend to disappear for a month at a time so I understand not every knows or remembers this. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | werd. i've seen a few lists but i always forget. you're very well adjusted, just curious. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | I should just post it under my user name :-P |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Thanks jdennis |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | LOL do you have that potion from Alice in Wonderland?
And I'm more than over-analysing. I'm MICRO-analysing. It's infuriating but inevitable. I keep waiting for the part where she reveals what she wants from me, and then dumps me when I'm no longer useful. Even though I know it's probably not going to happen.
^Also something that actually happened multiple times before, sadly. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | If you keep waiting for it eventually it will be a self fulfilling prophesy. That is something you need to excise from yourself no one will fix that for you not even the right woman. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Well can you blame me? When that happens 9 out of 10 times? |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | "If you keep waiting for it eventually it will be a self fulfilling prophesy. That is something you need to excise from yourself no one will fix that for you not even the right woman. "
this. if you enter a relationship with the preconceived idea that it's not going to work out, it certainly won't. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Seriously you are a normal if overly introspective dude that needs to work on his self image. Slide your perspective a little to understand this and you'll be fine. Get out of your head a bit, it'll do you some good. Getting rejected hurts but it's way better than insulating yourself and being a neckbeard for the rest of your life. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Sometimes you getting hurt is as much your own fault as it is theirs. Stop letting a few bad chicks mis-color the entire sex for you. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | Well can you blame me? When that happens 9 out of 10 times?
but that's a common thing. that's why people don't marry the first person they date. most relationships don't work out. but a few do, and there's no way to know until you jump in and give it a go. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | 6,973,738,433 - 2011
7 billion people man. 9/10 times is still a 10% success rate leaving you with 697373843 other opportunities to find love. lots of fish in the sea and all that |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | A working relationship is finding someone whose baggage and bull shit you can handle who can also handle your baggage and bull shit. and that is all on top of liking each other a lot. finding that combination is not quick or easy. |
Recspecs
11.23.12 | Lay her down on the kitchen counter and show her what's up. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | "Seriously you are a normal if overly introspective dude that needs to work on his self image. Slide your perspective a little to understand this and you'll be fine. Get out of your head a bit, it'll do you some good. Getting rejected hurts but it's way better than insulating yourself and being a neckbeard for the rest of your life."
I used to drink to get out of my head and become random and bold, but was requested to stop by family members, and have decided it's more important to keep them around than to get shitfaced. So now I don't even have alcohol to make my brain shut up. And my brain's a destructive little bastard.
If I was able to get drunk, I would have done so and told her already. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | confessing your feelings to a girl while drunk is the worst thing to do. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Well, if a little confidence is what you need try a pint or two... not six. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | start meditating. i started meditating to control my anger, so whenever i get really mad i can make my mind go blank pretty quick. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Speaking of handling my bullshit - every single quirk I have, even the really weird ones that make other people go 'erm...' or 'lol', she is fine with. EVERY SINGLE ONE. She either doesn't care about me enough to mind my weirdness or cares about me enough to overlook it. Not sure which. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Or simply doesn't mind it... still over thinking. ;-) |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | How could she not mind stuff that has lost me dates and got me weird looks before? In fact, I told her about how I'd lost a date because of a certain quirk I have (nothing creepy, just a little lulzy) and she literally said a. she did the same sometimes and b. it was the girl's loss. I had been expecting a 'lol ya bye'. I was like O_O |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | "still over thinking"
yep. you need to just stop thinking about it, because if you continue, you'll find excuses not to go for it. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | "How could she not mind stuff that has lost me dates and got me weird looks before?"
easy, she's a different person. some people don't care about religion others have strong feelings one way or the other. |
Funeralopolis
11.23.12 | You need to test the waters and build physical connection. Start out simple by being playful or adding more touch to your conversations and figure out what her boundaries are. It is a great way to build tension and figure out her wants without making shit awkward. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | you can't think about the things that some girls in the past haven't liked. think about the things that THIS GIRL likes about you. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | ^What I've been doing for the past 2 weeks.
But what if it goes wrong?! And I can no longer have dinner with her while reading stuff at one another and introducing one another to YouTube videos and making fun of 50 Shades? It's going to be awkward living in a house with someone who won't do anything but glare silently at you. Trust me, my Mum would do that, and it's incredibly uncomfortable. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | ^Was directed at Dominion's previous comment, not the latest. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | I direct you back to my first comment. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | outweigh the pros and cons. do you want her badly enough to risk ruining what you currently have? And even if it doesn't work out, things can still be cool. i'm friends with several of my ex-gfs. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Yeah, how long did it take for them to stop a. yelling insults at you down the phone and/or hurling ornaments in your general direction b. giving you the cold shoulder/ignoring you c. crying every time they see you?
I feel like becoming a couple would be a pleasant extension of what we already have. And I know every time she's away somewhere I'm like 'oh no she's going to meet someone!!!' And I know I'm going home for Christmas in two weeks and I'm afraid when I come back she'll have found some hot hunk and not even remember my name anymore ('oh hey Paul...no, Perry...or is it Porter?') |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | Yeah, how long did it take for them to stop a. yelling insults at you down the phone and/or hurling ornaments in your general direction b. giving you the cold shoulder/ignoring you c. crying every time they see you?
have these things happened frequently in the past? |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | dude. work out, get big, learn an instrument since you like music, and study up to get a great job. maybe not those exact things, but just get rid of the things that cause you to be so insecure. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | A no, B HELL YES, C no (but who would cry over me, I mean seriously!) |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Jdennis: bad back, I play bass, I HAVE a nice job with money left at the end of the month. I can also cook and bake, and I am not even that bad looking. What I don't have is 'game'. And I am not even remotely as cool as getting a cool and decent-looking girl requires - and as THIS girl deserves her future man to be. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | eh. what is being cool. starts with yourself. i'm a half white half korean dude and this is how i see myself. http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/1693158814/tumblr_ljcigwrIB71qiguseo1_500.jpg |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | "And I am not even remotely as cool as getting a cool and decent-looking girl requires "
i'm not cool, and i get good-looking girls. i think you're putting way too much thought, and importance, on the things you think you lack. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TtEoI0QP3kw/0.jpg
Too close to me for comfort. |
Crymsonblaze
11.23.12 | i think you're overthinking it a bit. it really is all about confidence
i know that's probably not helpful, but coming from someone with low self-esteem, confidence (or faking it) is the way to go
be assertive and just ask her to dinner or something. it doesn't necessarily have to be a date at first, but just try to gauge how she's feeling and see if a move can be made. as long as you're confident and funny, then you'll be fine |
Crymsonblaze
11.23.12 | hey pete scored mj, so not too shabby there, parker! |
MalleusMaleficarum
11.23.12 | guys crymson just gave advice on how to get with a girl
|
Crymsonblaze
11.23.12 | guys, malleus is still dumby |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | @crymson we've already been out to a movie and a fireworks show, and were supposed to go to our friend's choir recital except she ended up going alone because I had last-minute stuff.
Also, that is the ONLY PART of the Spidey mythology that I always called bullshit on. That, and Peter becoming a buff University professor all of a sudden in the 90s. |
ChopSuey
11.23.12 | easier said than done |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | since it hasn't been posted in this thread yet. best way to get any chick's undying love and devotion, for life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZuOKUrwoys |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | @Crymson the ending of Spidey 2 ruined the entire movie for me with how unrealistic it was. Yeah, she would totally leave the rich buff astronaut for the barely-hanging wishy-washy emo nerd. Please. Don't insult my intelligence, Raimi. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | i would totally bang spiderman over some rich buff astronaut |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | 'Neglect Emotionally' - clicked off video. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Jdennis you're a dude and probably a comic book nerd. I want to have Hugh Jackman's babies too. Does not make that ending any more atrociously fanficky. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | hahaahaha. dude that video is classic |
Observer
11.23.12 | get her drunk. seriously
not to fuck her but she may reveal any possible feelings to you
or you could fuck her after too |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Someone suggested that to me elsewhere and got the exact reply I'm going to give you:
NO.
I'm not the kind of guy who uses women like that. If she was drunk I'd have to be drunk too, or she would have to get drunk on her own. |
Observer
11.23.12 | bingo. YOU BOTH GET DRUNK. then youll have more confidence, plus what i just said |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | ...except I'm teetotal. At times like these I WISH I hadn't promised my family to stop drinking. It's literally the only thing I use alcohol for, and I desperately need it. About six or seven bottles of WKD should do the trick. |
Observer
11.23.12 | another good one is let her catch you wanking 'by accident' and then just be like "oh shit i was just thinking of you" lol |
NightProwler
11.23.12 | It's probably been said several times in hear, but just be honest with her. You obviously like her. Maybe she's just as nervous as you are and doesn't want to tell you either due to the same reason you have. And if you don't take a chance on it, you might never know what could've been.
Of course it'd suck if she doesn't want to be more than your friend, but seeing as you two have been going out a few times, I don't see why she wouldn't want to go out with you for real.
Oh, and btw - keep listening to AC/DC, it's cool |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | if a grown ass woman gets drunk on her on own free will and then bangs you that doesn't mean you used her... -_- she could just as easily have used you. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | Yeah silent. Because there's no such thing as sexual tension right? Or undesirable advances? Or sexual harassment?
It must be good living there in Utopia. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | @jdennis but Ponton was suggesting that *I* should get her drunk. |
wacknizzle
11.23.12 | Just wait for the right moment when you are together and say something, try opening up to her. Things will only end up awkward if you act awkward, it's the truth dude just saying man, be yourself, that's the best you can do. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | again: DO NOT GET DRUNK and profess your undying affection. all it says is "i have absolutely no balls so i had to get wasted just to tell you that i'm into you". |
pizzamachine
11.23.12 | Just ask if she likes you, simple really. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | no, he has to ask if she likes likes him. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | @Dom I did that once. She gave the excuse that she "didn't know me very well" (after four years together in Uni), then turned around and kissed the cool guy and it was caught on camera and that's how I know. The other time I did that they told me they were lesbians after flrting with me on the dancefloor all night.
@silent because this: 'nless you guys are 12 years old im sure you are mature enough that the awkwardness will pass regardless of if things go ur way' implies that you don't allow for there ever to be awkward situations between adults. Dipshit. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | "....they told me they were lesbians after flrting with me on the dancefloor all night." you missed your chance |
Wolfhorde
11.23.12 | Y'know, you probably don't wann hear this but:
A) Looks like friend-zone.
B) Potsy is right, you need toe be upfront about your attraction
C) Attraction, that you have something in common is COMPLETELY irrelevant for that. You could be almost identical twins and she could still not be attracted to you, which basically means you dating her won't be happening. Unless she's a bitch/likes playing with people ect.
D) So what? Life is full of risks, it's not like rejection is a big deal unless you have something to compensate for. You can't seriously be thinking chicks dig dudes that have to ask other people about asking them out. |
Observer
11.23.12 | just be like, hey wanna see something i wrote? and show her this list |
Wolfhorde
11.23.12 | ^ agreed. people need to stop being stuck in their heads all the time. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | silent is such a good guy once you get through a few layers |
Observer
11.23.12 | no truly i havent. i live in a men-only section of the world |
Havey
11.23.12 | rob zombie hm |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | @Wolf: friend zone is actually fine with me, if that's all there's going to be. I fucking hate that expression too. Ever heard of couples who were friends beforehand?
@silent she is a WOMAN. How will she not make a big deal out of it? I'm lucky she even allowed me to criticise her writing without having an emotional breakdown. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | dude, a lot of women are not as emotionally fragile as you seem to think they are. |
wabbit
11.23.12 | BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEE |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | it's tough to tell with some users |
XingKing
11.23.12 | Just stick it in her butt. |
Wolfhorde
11.23.12 | "@Wolf: friend zone is actually fine with me, if that's all there's going to be. I fucking hate that expression too. Ever heard of couples who were friends beforehand?"
What? Now, do you wanna date her or not? Either way, just FUCKING TALK to people. Playing games usually just makes you look like a gigantic douchebag. And there's just no reason to keep it to yourself.
"@silent she is a WOMAN. How will she not make a big deal out of it? I'm lucky she even allowed me to criticise her writing without having an emotional breakdown."
This is a joke, right? |
Scoot
11.23.12 | "excuse me, i'm trying to become a stud. i already have an std, all i need is u" |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | lololol |
Scoot
11.23.12 | no joke money-back guarantee |
WiltedFlower
11.23.12 | i know how you feel, my heart breaks everytime this girl at school smiles at me. i wrote her a poem to tell her how i feel about her and slipped it into her locker. she hasn't told me how she felt yet but you should give it a try to |
Scoot
11.23.12 | did you go to the someguest school of hard knox and female anatomy? |
Deviant.
11.23.12 | "but neither of us made any type of move."
So what was the point of your last list then? Sack up |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | lol someguest |
WiltedFlower
11.23.12 | how do i know if this girl knows my name? |
MMX
11.23.12 | See you can't date her because you 2 live with each other so your only option is to just fuck her.every.single.day. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | I was kind of joking with my comment BUT some girls are irrationally emotional.
I DO want to date her, but if not, friend zone is fine. |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | so fucking go for it. it'll only be weird and awkward if you make it that way. |
WiltedFlower
11.23.12 | kid's hopeless, he just needs to get laid. |
Wolfhorde
11.23.12 | ^ holy shit you're retarded. |
ReturnToRock
11.23.12 | 'Fucking go for it' and then what? Have her throw me withering glares for the next however many months? That's the only thing keeping me from 'fucking going for it'.
And again, 'the kid' is probably several years older than you. |
jdennis31
11.23.12 | wilted is obvious troll but you are acting pretty helpless. the most basic advice given to you was to grow some balls and man up yet you're still here trying to work out all the "what ifs". |
Observer
11.23.12 | how good can you flirt
thats more subtle and some girls respond better than I LIKE YOU YOU LIKE ME?
idk i think people in this thread are giving you too impatient advice. keep hanging out with her and give it time. if she likes you it will become obvious. read up on their body language when they do, shit is usually spot on. |
PuddlesPuddles
11.23.12 | You're a confident, capable, and kind young man. There's a good chance she's into you and if it so happens she shoots you down, it isn't the end of the game anyway. Be cool about it and she'll either get to the same place you are or you'll find another girl who's worth it. |
omnipanzer
11.23.12 | Puddles is a confident, capable, and kind young teddy bear. |
PuddlesPuddles
11.23.12 | My books on tape vary between getting the girl and using human innards as licorice |
VinVal
11.23.12 | get really close to her face look at her lips then her eyes then kiss her |
DominionMM1
11.23.12 | 'Fucking go for it' and then what? Have her throw me withering glares for the next however many months? That's the only thing keeping me from 'fucking going for it'.
you're already envisioning failure. and even if you bomb, what makes you think she'll be giving you "withering glares"? |
Deviant.
11.23.12 | "withering glances"? I think people stopped pulling those out in the 1940's |
BallsToTheWall
11.23.12 | Is "withering glares" the new "great white buffalo" all of a sudden? |
YankeeDudel
11.23.12 | you need to just live in the moment man and maybe start meditating. you obviously have anxiety and mah-brain-wont-shut-the-pluck-up issues so that will help. start exercising too. dont get so caught up in your negative thoughts because thoughts arent shit without your belief in them. whatever happened in the past, no matter how much it has happened, is dead and gone. every moment is fresh. become aware that your thoughts, emotions, and perceptions are just illusions. if this chick says no to you the only thing that matters is your reaction to it. you need to understand how your own ego works. /zen shit |
peaks40
11.23.12 | ^ this. I am feeling this. |
MikeC26
11.24.12 | just tell her how you feel. i'd approach iher with something like "i don't want to be weird or anything, but i wanna sex
you in an abundance of positions made only possible by my larger than average penis." this has yet to work for me and
i've tried it many times, but good luck! |
Scoot
11.24.12 | great white buffalo |
ShadowRemains
11.24.12 | yep we all know u like the dick |
GaryJohnson2012
11.24.12 | you are looking for answers online to a solution you can only solve yourself... no one on here is
going to ask this girl out for you. just fucking do it. u know what soldiers do before running into
battle? they facebook all their friends and ask what they should do. no. they fucking run because
they have the common sense to know that standing still isn't helping their odds. they are scared
like every other human being they JUST DO IT. simple advice. just do it. stop making this shit so
hard, the more you over-analyze the worse your odds are getting. what kind of a girl doesnt want a
relationship with someone they are always around anyway and have tons of interests in common with,
the only problem you can have is you are creeping her out by being too dramatic. if you asked her
out the day you realized you liked her it would have probably been natural and easy for both of you,
it is only awkward to you because you have waited, and it will only get weirder.
if you are 21, ask her out to get a drink she will probably have a lot better idea of what you are
trying to do than if you go see some movie or fireworks (u would probably do that shit with your
parents). U dont have to get drunk, having a couple drinks will make everything you do sexually more
natural so you wont do any awkward shit like yawn and put your hand around her shoulder.
Good luck, yet luck has nothing to do with it. honestly, if you make a plan B then you are planning
to fail. Do NOT make a plan B; do not consider what MIGHT go wrong. Ask her out tomorrow, in the
meantime start thinking about dates after that, not what MIGHT go wrong. never think about rejection
again or you are just planning to fail. Peace brother-man. If it makes you feel better this story
has inspired me to ask out a girl I haven't seen in about 4 years so don't even get me started on
awkwardness. |
ShadowRemains
11.24.12 | that's insurrection, btw |
GaryJohnson2012
11.24.12 | isn't advice for 16 yo kids lakes sry |
jungletiger
11.24.12 | Bro, think inception. She's an artsy type right? So she must have an open mind. Maybe you can find ways to make her attracted to you, i don't mean get leo di caprio to help you out. But doing little things that might make her attracted to you. You seem to know her pretty well so i'm sure can come up with something. It can happen, Think music, sometimes you may think an album is ok and then suddenly one day it starts growing on you. This proves she can one day be attracted to you....unless she already is |
Scoot
11.24.12 | do what steve carrell did and just ask questions |
OmairSh
11.24.12 | This might be sputniks most productive list in terns of feedback. |
Puzzles
11.24.12 | Listen to the new Led Zeppelin record and show her your cock |
Ignimbrite
11.24.12 | I am almost in the exact same situation, but there's another dude who may or may not be involved so id fucking k
stay strong |
someguest
11.24.12 | You guys are thinking into it too much. Be yourself, unless you suck. |
ReturnToRock
11.24.12 | Guys, I feel you, I really do. Really good advice that has me halfway convinced to do something before I actually go home for Xmas in two weeks. However, Gary, I have tried to immediately rush into a relationship and it went horribly wrong (details don't matter in this case, let's just say it went badly).
@jungletiger I already do. I had some freebies from work (art stuff) and I brought them home and gave them to her (I wouldn't use them anyway, I suck at art). It wasn't an awkward 'event', it was just 'hey, freebies, were lying around the office for months, you may use them, here'. I do feel like I bore her sometimes, though. We'll sit and talk and goof off for like 2-3 hours every night, and then she starts looking at the clock and quickly escapes to bed. I don't think she'd do that if she was into me, do you? But then we have moments like last night when we were having a singalong to Disney songs from when we were kids, and it all feels right.
Don't get me wrong - it wouldn't be hard for me to actually ask her to date. It would be hard for me to live with the awkward atmosphere after she said HELL NO.
And as for withering glares, my Mum does them to perfection, so I know exactly what my resistance threshold is for them - namely about 10 minutes. Having to live with them every day for the foreseeable future...um, I think not. |
GaryJohnson2012
11.24.12 | the reason it probably went bad when you 'rushed it' was because you did the same thing you are doing now and wasting time contemplating REJECTION (the most illogical and counterproductive thing you coudl do). when you contemplate rejection women can literally smell this. you give off a scent of a nervous animal and its very unattractive. the only way to go is to have some fucking self confidence man. how do you do this? you look at all the assholes in the world and tell yourself that you ARE good enough for this girl (if you aren't good enough then give her away to an asshole and quit ur bitchin), in fact you are better than anyone because you actually care about her. its all on you dude. stop making excuses. time to start being a man, women don't want to get romantic with little boys. you can thank me for my advice but its not going to help you unless you take it. stop thinking about rejection. do whatever you can that isn't putting her in an awkward situation to make it clear you like her and it WILL WORK. seriously man all the power is in your mind, there is nothing physical stopping you from your goals and I truly hope you figure this out and don't let life pass you by, because it will. |
GaryJohnson2012
11.24.12 | check out KRS-ONE's Womenology. Fucking perfect song for you. |
Scoot
11.24.12 | "suck it and see" |
MoosechriS
11.24.12 | sometimes dude you just gotta bite the bullet and tell her how you feel, if she feels the same great, if not the world won't end and you won't die of embarassment life will go on. things might be a bit awkward but at keast you'll know either way. A life lived with regrets is a life of untaken chances. |
GaryJohnson2012
11.24.12 | its like your sitting in a cell with the doors open and you decide to sit and do the time. free your mind. |
peaks40
11.24.12 | i lol'd |
JWT155
11.24.12 | I'm dating my room mate, use my approach, get drunk together, try and make out. If she's cool with that then your golden. |
peaks40
11.24.12 | if she's your best friend i don't see how you can't date, out of all the stupid nuances of relationships, that's the most important thing. This coming from someone who's had one gf so yeah |
JWT155
11.24.12 | Eh, yea, if you've only been room mates for a few months then you have some wiggle room, BUT if you've been room mates/friends for a long time then it will be hard to become a more important person in her life. |
Pennywise_M
11.24.12 | If i may: If you go out often, and she does seek you, you should really go through with it. She must
like you as much as you like her.
If you dont go pretty often or/and she doesnt seek you much, probably more like a friends/interest
share thing. But i would seriously go with the first one. Even though im only 19 i believe im pretty
experienced in this type of thing, and have given great advice in the past. I also got out of a 3
year relationship and healthily went on, only to find the best girl i could hope for not even months
later. And i had a time in which i was somewhat insecure, just like you are right now. But try to
analyse it, use your head. I did, and ended up pulling the first kiss in the perfect moment. If she
lets you know of any of her weaknesses its because shes willing towards you, if she seeks you, she
wants you. If you engage in deep conversations, she needs you. Anyway, give it time. For her to
figure out herself, and you to figure her out lol. Its one good phase for any valuable relation, the
beginning, the discovery, the unveiling of feelings. Forgive my lameness, i too am in love. And
there's no greater thing |
Pennywise_M
11.24.12 | Holy shit i wrote too damn much. |
peaks40
11.24.12 | its really funny how everyone has their own little theories. dude don't get over indulged in all this. just go with feel and your instinct |
someguest
11.24.12 | Thumb your own asshole and see if you still have feelings for her. |
peaks40
11.24.12 | someguest i don't know if i'm laughing but i'm smiling so hard that it hurts |
Ignimbrite
11.24.12 | rape her |
peaks40
11.24.12 | raping her is the noblest thing you can do |
someguest
11.24.12 | Rape is but a figment of a woman's imagination. |
peaks40
11.24.12 | The thought that she could shred your tips with eight quick flips
excites her, see y'all fuck with the pussy
but she fuck with your minds |
JWT155
11.24.12 | "So, my wife wanted us to experiment in bed and asked me for ideas.
I confessed and said I've always had the fantasy of raping her and asked for opinion.
"Never" she responded.
I said "That's the spirit!" "
- Jimmy Carr |
ReturnToRock
11.25.12 | Actually, Zooey Deschanel is not tooooo far off. Not quite as quirky/crazy/annoying, but otherwise, yeah, same type. |
GaryJohnson2012
11.25.12 | yeah actually, just rape her |
GaryJohnson2012
11.25.12 | i mean you live in the same house |
Havey
11.25.12 | "yeah actually, just rape her"
yeah and then after that don't let her get an abortion because that shit's just immoral am i right GaryJohnson2012??? |
Wolfhorde
11.25.12 | why is this list still going on |
J0ckstrapsFTW
11.25.12 | "So, my wife wanted us to experiment in bed and asked me for ideas.
I confessed and said I've always had the fantasy of raping her and asked for opinion.
"Never" she responded.
I said "That's the spirit!" "
- Jimmy Carr
ahahahaha |
Wolfhorde
11.25.12 | Oh yeah "you need to just live in the moment man and maybe start meditating. you obviously have anxiety and mah-brain-wont-shut-the-pluck-up issues so that will help. start exercising too. dont get so caught up in your negative thoughts because thoughts arent shit without your belief in them. whatever happened in the past, no matter how much it has happened, is dead and gone. every moment is fresh. become aware that your thoughts, emotions, and perceptions are just illusions. if this chick says no to you the only thing that matters is your reaction to it. you need to understand how your own ego works. /zen shit"
Totally this, because it's probably the best and most universal thing that has been said in this entire thread.
and lol at the Jimmy Carr quote. |
GaryJohnson2012
11.25.12 | Yeah actually, just rape her... in the butt*
sorry havey.
|
Pennywise_M
11.25.12 | I have to agree with Wolfhorde and whoever said that to a big extent. Its important to never lose your balance. That comes with self confidence too. Stay strong my good brother. |
JustJoe.
11.25.12 | Just be yourself! Bitches love being yourself.
If that doesn't work, be somebody else, maybe. |
ReturnToRock
11.26.12 | How lame would making a playlist and leaving it at her door be? |
Hopelust
11.26.12 | three days worth of advice. have you made a move yet? |
jdennis31
11.26.12 | http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/local_news/water_cooler/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-baby-woman-ordered-to-pay-120000-judgement |
Wolfhorde
11.26.12 | "why don't you just go outside and put a boombox over your head as well."
A BOOMBOX CAN CHANGE THE WORLD YOU GOTTA KNOW YOUR LIMITS WITH A BOOMBOX |
GaryJohnson2012
11.26.12 | Issue solved. Answer: Butt-Rape. |
Sharkattack
08.03.18 | And what is Aleppo? |
