More Popular Bands That I Loathe
The legacy continues |
| 1 |  | Counterparts
A Eulogy for Those Still Here
A gang of syrup-swilling manlets screaming and shouting about how difficult it is hating themselves and being simps. I can't imagine how devastating it must be when the Tim Horton's next to the recording studio runs out of French Vanilla lattes. Those are truly timeless, universal problems that need to be discussed on a massive scale. I can't listen to the vocals for more than 10 seconds without thinking to myself "dude... literally shut the fuck up." It's just the absolute worst trash imaginable and I'm genuinely baffled anyone can stomach this stuff. Their latest album is very appropriately titled. You'd have to be dead, physically or mentally, to remotely care about this embarrassment of a band. As far as metalcore goes, you'd be better served listening to their counterparts. Counterparts? More like Counterfarts. Total crap. |
| 2 |  | Knocked Loose
A Tear in the Fabric of Life
Disney should sue for unlicensed use of the Mickey Mouse voice. This band is a rotten tooth in the mouth of heavy music that needs to be knocked loose. They're a tear in the fabric of music and an overhyped blemish on the heavy scene. It doesn't help either that the fans are some of the most petulant, overcompensating crybabies you'll ever come across. Why don't y'all do the world a favor and two-step yourselves into the psyche ward. You can have all the pudding, crayons and karate space you want. It's the ultimate win-win scenario. |
| 3 |  | Failure
Fantastic Planet
Fantastic planet? Not with this band on it. I'll admit the band name is appropriate tho. |
| 4 |  | Rush
Moving Pictures
Listening to this band is such a rush! I'm literally always in a rush to turn this shit off! |
| 5 |  | Fit for an Autopsy
Oh What the Future Holds
Another band with a perfect title. As far as creativity goes they were certainly dead on arrival. The production is over compressed, the riffs are overused, the vocals are overly mediocre, and the potential is overly missed. My assessment deems this band fit for a breakup. |
| 6 |  | Stray from the Path
Euthanasia
Rage Against the Machine called. They want their fucking lyrics back. Much like their plagiarized counterpart, here we have yet another brigade of such laughable irony. Claiming to be part of a counterculture, yet their views align 100% with the same corporate machine they ostensibly oppose. This off-brand woke rap-rock garbage is completely insufferable, and as their braindead songs might suggest, the fans are inclined to report you if you bash them. Every song sounds exactly the same and the jizz-haired singer sounds like my mother-in-law backseat driving. If the members of this manletcore ensemble put half as much effort into songwriting as they do hating cops, they might craft a decent song. Until then, I hope they learn there's nothing virtuous about living in perpetual self-deprecation and bitterness. If they want to know the root cause of their misery, they should sell their instruments and buy a mirror. |
| 7 |  | Boris
Amplifier Worship
Bore us |
| 8 |  | Elton John
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
"I suck cock! It's a big deal!" - every Elton John song ever |
| 9 |  | Ghost (SWE)
Infestissumam
This band is like a metallic caricature of every Woodstock band boomers worship |
| 10 |  | Gaza
I Don't Care Where I Go When I Die
I don't care where I go as long as I don't have to listen to this shit |
| 11 |  | Rolo Tomassi
Time Will Die And Love Will Bury It
I wish my memory of this band would die and Slowdive would bury it. It's like they've incorporated everything I can't stand in music and made a band out of it. Obnoxious harsh female vocals, instruments that don't fit (throw that keyboard out ffs), lack of distinct riffs or hooks, awful guitar tone, arbitrary clean sections that disrupt the flow of the songs, etc. This is a perfect example of a "Sputnik band". People here rave about them incessantly, but if you show it to the average person the response is almost always "what the fuck is this shit?!". Converge is another perfect example. As soon as the vocals come in it's nothing but disgust and grimacing. Hard pass on this hipster trash. |
| 12 |  | As I Lay Dying
Shadows Are Security
Wifekillercore that makes me wish I was dying |
| 13 |  | All That Remains
The Fall of Ideals
All that remains is a tattered legacy. Although, even their good stuff isn't THAT good tbh. Their more recent material is so insanely embarrassing. I feel sorry for the fans of this band. |
| 14 |  | Ulver
Bergtatt - Et eeventyr i 5 capitler
I gotta hand it to this band. There isn't a single other group that have embarrassed themselves in this many genres. They should've named themseves Ulcer, because they're a painful sore in the stomach of music that causes nothing but pain for the listener. Take your unlistenable lo-fi scandilamevian rubbish and your pretentious little orchestra and get lost. |
| 15 |  | American Football
American Football
The singer always sings in the key of stripper clothes and this particular brand of pussified indie rock crap always came across so immensely boring and uninspired to me. The name is also rather ironic. American football involves passion, talent, and competitiveness. This band embodies none of that. They should change their name to WNBA because that's the accurate music equivalency. It's more boring than watching paint dry, and while some people may pretend to enjoy it, everyone knows they're full of shit. |
| 16 |  | Machine Gun Kelly
Mainstream Sellout
Mainstream Retard |
| 17 |  | Refused
The Shape of Punk to Come
I wish they refused to make music |
| 18 |  | Botch
We Are the Romans
They're not the Romans. The Romans built one of the most powerful empires ever known. The only thing these guys ever did was botch any prospect of making decent music. We Are the Romans? More like We Are the Retards. No thanks. |
| 19 |  | Mumford and Sons
Babel
Ah yes, Mumford and Sons. A band specifically designed to fill the ears of soccer moms as they peruse living room options at Pottery Barn. It's uninspired folk music for the first world with the emotional depth of a shopping mall parking lot. |
| 20 |  | Iron Maiden
Piece of Mind
I'd rather die with my boots on and my remarkably impressive schlong dipped in scalding hot tea than listen to one more song from these Union Hacks. The bass is always way too high in the mix and the tone blows, and the singer sounds like Molly Ringwald's retarded neighbor. Apparently they have a plane too with their dumb little Gene Simmons mummy mascot on the side. They should name their next live album Flight of the Feces. Influential relevance aside, nothing about this band pleases me whatsoever. Merely a stepping stone to reach a better sound. I have a hard time believing anyone genuinely enjoys this. We can all stop pretending. |
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