Enotron
07.01.10 | I deleted the Pierce The Veil review, it really wasn't good at all. |
Bulldog
07.01.10 | okay read your wait what review, and it was really good. but one thing im noticing is you use the phrase "in other words" WAY too fucking much. im moving on to omar rodriguez-lopez |
Enotron
07.01.10 | oh? Yeah you'll probably find a lot of repeated phrases. |
Bulldog
07.01.10 | alright, read it. really no problems other than you can do better on making two sentences one, and you capitalize where you don't need to e.g. ": Beauty". moving on |
Slum
07.01.10 | Professor Bulldog to the rescue! |
Bulldog
07.01.10 | alright just read the dead weather review. another thing ive noticed through your reviews is you have a REALLY bad habit of starting paragraphs with "and", thusly having two different points of discussion in one place, and that's not something you want. |
Dryden
07.01.10 | sup bd |
Ire
07.01.10 | sup booldawg |
Enotron
07.01.10 | In the paragraph you're referring to, it's connected to the first, just in a bolder, declarative statement. The other one isn't connected at all, it just sort of appears that way. Regardless, I'll try to avoid the "and" thing. |
Bulldog
07.01.10 | Alright, Sed Non Saetia review is read. Once again, good review, more of the and problem, and I noticed you like to italicize song titles. Most people put song titles in quotations and album names in italics, but that's your call. Also, more of the capitaliation problem. I've noticed sometimes you don't capitalize some things when they should be in the past two reviews (e.g. "lp", "led zeppelin"). and you ocassionally make mistakes with punctuation |
Enotron
07.01.10 | I mentioned Led Zeppelin? Gonna read and fix the capital problem now. |
Ire
07.01.10 | Sed Non Saetia
lol would make the greatest emo band ever. |
Bulldog
07.01.10 | alright your Arcade Fire review was good, didnt really find too many problems. although you do have a tendency to mix up "it's" and "its". |
Bulldog
07.01.10 | Your Ariel Pink review is probably your best review I've read (with Wait What following suit as second) Excellent job. |
Bulldog
07.01.10 | alright your Yo La Tengo review was well written, but pretentious (which in this case was kind of a good thing)
you're definitely a good reviewer, and you excel in actual musical descriptors. just proofread some more as you make small grammatical errors here and there (lol yes this is coming from Bulldog) and focus on the other stuff i mentioned.
oh, and this is just a personal preference type thing to me, but try to make your intros more pulling. like, you sort of immediately dive into describing the music or band sometimes and it can be stale. i like to have like a "connect to your world" type approach to intros. for an example of this read my Obie Trice intro. not saying im the best at this or anything but its just an example.
hope i helped mang. keep up the good work. |
Enotron
07.01.10 | Yeah pretense was pretty much what I was aiming for, more or less.
I appreciate the criticisms, I'll try to focus more on editing out small grammatical errors and awkward bits. |
Enotron
07.01.10 | Bumping just in case anybody out there has a more stylistic based criticism. |
