|
User
Soundoffs 3
Album Ratings 566
Objectivity 62%
Last Active 05-29-20 3:05 am
Joined 07-28-19
Review Comments 155
| Van Halen are the greatest hard rock band
... so I'm gonna rank all their albums. | | 12 |  | Van Halen
Van Halen III
If Balance wasn't proof that Van Halen should take a break, then III was proof that they NEEDED to. Poor Gary Cherone is on here doing his best DLR impression, which really sucks cause his work with Extreme shows he's a really good frontman and vocalist. Without You and Fire in the Hole are tolerable, but everything else here sucks. Avoid unless you're some sort of completionist.
2 outta 5 | | 11 |  | Van Halen
Balance
Ruined the happy ending that Carnal Knowledge was supposed to be. Here on this album Van Halen go back to being overly-poppy and radio friendly. Yuck. I do not like.
2.5 outta 5 | | 10 |  | Van Halen
Diver Down
Easily the weakest with DLR, even incuding ADKoT. Too many covers, too many interludes, and feels half baked. Only worthwile stuff here is Little Guitars (which rules) and the cover of Pretty Woman ain't band but isn't enough to save this album. This album was proof Van Halen need to take a break from the studio to make their next album special which luckily they did and it worked out in spades.
2.5 outta 5 | | 9 |  | Van Halen
OU812
Way too poppy imo. In fact, I would say it was around here where Van Halen stopped being a hard rock group, and started being a pop rock band. Here they sound like a discount Bon Jovi, which is kinda sad cause to me Bon Jovi sounds like a discount Van Halen, so I guess it's all just one big fucking inception. Album doesn't do it for me at all.
2.5 outta 5 | | 8 |  | Van Halen
A Different Kind of Truth
Van Halen's most recent (and probably last) album, and it's a reunion with the Chad himself David Lee Roth. ADKoT is better than it has any right to be, but it over stays its welcome just a bit too much with filler tracks, and while he doesn't sound bad, you can tell DLR's vocals haven't aged as well as they should've. At least he sounds better here than he did in Tokyo Dome. Now that was fucking terrible.
3.5 outta 5
Album highlights:
She's The Woman, China Town, Stay Frosty | | 7 |  | Van Halen
Women and Children First
Barring Diver Down, this is probably the most inconsistent of the classic-DLR era. It's still very, very good, I just feel like its tracklisting could be a little stronger. Could This Be Magic is also underrated as hell and I'm upset it never gets talked about. Not too much to say about this one. Just another solid Van Halen album.
4 outta 5
Album highlights: And The Cradle Will Rock, Fools, Loss Of Control | | 6 |  | Van Halen
5150
Their first album with Hagar is an impressive first. While I agree he is no DLR (granted, no one is) Hagar is one of the nicest guys in rock and it's hard to not like him. This album is great, however my biggest issue with it is that its production isn't as a clear as it should be, especially coming of the heels of their last album 1984 which had such good production. Still, this rocks hard despite the increased use of the synth.
4 outta 5
Album highlights: Good Enough, Why Can't This Be Love, Love Walks In | | 5 |  | Van Halen
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
The band's swan song with Hagar. The Hagar albums have kind of a bad rap for being a bit too poppy, but here the band return to their full hard rock roots and shy away from the use of the synth. This album is extremely underrated. Fuck that 3.2 average. I've always loved this album. Poundcake is one of their heaviest songs, and songs like Man On a Mission have some of their funnest riffs. The final two songs are also fucking great, and this would've been the best way to cap off Hagar's career with Van Halen. Too bad they had to go and ruin it with Balance. F-U-C-K.
4.5 outta 5 (no shame)
Album highlights: Poundcake, Judgement Day, Right Now | | 4 |  | Van Halen
Van Halen II
This is more of what the first Van Halen offered, except it's not quite as fast paced as their debut. DLR's vocals are on fuckin point here, especially those screams on Outta Love Again. Another solid collection of songs, but doesn't quite have the energy their first did, but I think that's just saying more of a testament to how great that album was. Dance the Night Away was also my mom's favorite Van Halen song, so that song always has a special place in my heart.
4.5 outta 5
Album highlights: Dance The Night Away, Women In Love, Beautiful Girls | | 3 |  | Van Halen
1984
Van Halen's biggest album and it's clear to see why. The tracklist plays out almost like a greatest hits album, and Eddie changes the game here with the introduction of synths on tracks like Jump and I'll Wait. This album was the perfect finale for DLR (until he eventually returned) and is yet another perfect album by the band in what I call their trilogy of greatness.
5 outta 5
Album highlights: Panama, Hot For Teacher, I'll Wait | | 2 |  | Van Halen
Fair Warning
Filled to the brim with so much personality crammed into thirty short but sweet minutes. Have probably burned out the vinyl record from playing this too much. Unchained is the biggest hit here but there are some good deep cuts here like Sinner's Swing and One Foot Out The Door. Another masterpiece by the Halen.
5 outta 5
Album highlights: Mean Street, Hear About It Later, Unchained | | 1 |  | Van Halen
Van Halen
An absolute monolith in the world of hard rock. This album sounds better and is played better than most rock albums that have come out since. Neck and neck with Led Zeppelin II as my favorite hard rock album. Fucking masterful.
5 outta 5
Album highlights: Ain't Talkin' Bout Love, I'm The One, On Fire | |
MindsOfMen
03.29.20 | I DON'T WANNNA HEEAAAR ABOUT IT LATER | Snake.
03.30.20 | panama is in like the top 2 worst boomer anthems ever | rockarollacola
03.30.20 | Hagar-era Van Halen is super underrated. I dig all 4 of the albums they put out with him, each for different reasons. Dave's output with the band is pretty hit or miss for me, but the debut is an untouchable classic. | JDubb
03.31.20 | Boomer anthems...that's funny. Seriously though, Balance does indeed suck, F.U.C.K. was great (at the time), and 1 is 1. |
|
