Papa's Worst of 2018
I'm right on time as always and I naively don't expect to suddenly hear anything worthy of entering the list at this point. |
81 | | Greyhaven Empty Black
late entries to be entered here: |
80 | | Greyhaven Empty Black
emotional likeness: the best of the overrated messes |
79 | | Bay Faction Florida Guilt
emotional likeness: the draft demo compilation of the year |
78 | | Sigh Heir to Despair
emotional likeness: *sigh* *cough* |
77 | | Pinegrove Skylight
emotional likeness: the kings of the boring part of your hipster emo friend's favourite "aah how can you not know this band?" |
76 | | Vox Low Vox Low
emotional likeness: another one of those dark-synth, drown-voiced, dull-song-writing butchers of the good (or moderately acceptable) name of darkwave |
75 | | The Amity Affliction Misery
emotional likeness: your producer has a bipolar disorder, probably, cause the music cannot decide, whether it's a mediocre pop bore or a mediocre metalcore bore. |
74 | | Liars Titles With The Word Fountain
emotional likeness: it's always cool to have bands release their demos… until you realise that it is a finished product |
73 | | Dimmu Borgir Eonian
emotional likeness: being caught in the crossfire of mormons and catholics, both of which want to fight each other to death over the right to ask you about Jesus. |
72 | | Black Moth Super Rainbow Panic Blooms
emotional likeness: the fall from grace |
71 | | Mastersystem Dance Music
emotional likeness: combining tedious song-writing with some off-putting instrumentation and passing it off as innovation or something. (shame that this is the last thing we'll hear from Scott Hutchison) |
70 | | Manic Street Preachers Resistance Is Futile
emotional likeness: I imagine a few folk here absolutely delighted in hating this album (Doof?) |
69 | | Interpol Marauder
emotional likeness: the flatness in the production really hurt my ears |
68 | | Forage and Wander Time Well Spent
emotional likeness: extensive whining |
67 | | Loma Loma
emotional likeness: nothing much to see here, just forgettable |
66 | | Flasher Constant Image
emotional likeness: water |
65 | | Suuns Felt
emotional likeness: all artsy flare and no substance makes Johnny a dull album |
64 | | Givers Movin On
emotional likeness: the non-mainstream mainstream pop |
63 | | Between the Buried and Me Automata I
emotional likeness: it's good to have a maths degree, you can do music with it, apparently. |
62 | | Car Seat Headrest Twin Fantasy (Face to Face)
emotional likeness: a hipster loves recycling so much, he does it to his music even |
61 | | Unknown Mortal Orchestra Sex and Food
emotional likeness: bore and snore |
60 | | Mount Eerie Now Only
emotional likeness: cancer is a bitch, losing a loved one is a bitch, being able to play music is apparently also a bitch |
59 | | Bongripper Terminal
emotional likeness: oh look, it's the heaviness that barely goes anywhere other than heaviness. (but at least the heaviness is nice) |
58 | | Molchat Doma Etazhi
emotional likeness: Russian emo darkwave phase |
57 | | Sleep The Sciences
emotional likeness: do you have to be stoned beforehand? |
56 | | Thou The House Primordial
emotional likeness: earache |
55 | | Alice in Chains Rainier Fog
emotional likeness: the band that died with their original frontman is now deader than ever. |
54 | | Sinistro Sangue Cassia
emotional likeness: overlong overbearing overboredom |
53 | | Real Friends Composure
emotional likeness: a notch above their usual level of dullness and uninspired messiness, so maybe next time we'll get a half-decent album |
52 | | Shields Life In Exile
emotional likeness: *explodes in the epicness* *reassembles, beacuse he immediately forgot what he just heard* |
51 | | of Montreal White Is Relic/Irrealis Mood
emotional likeness: what does 'obnoxious music' stand for? … oh, alright |
50 | | Slaughterhouse (CA, USA) Slaughterhouse
emotional likeness: one of those outputs that are so lo-fi that it makes you wonder, had it had a listenable production, would it have actually been good… |
49 | | Sophie Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides
emotional likeness: oh I get it now. and I only needed to cut off my dick and wear celophane as a dress, pretending it better exemplifies my "personality" |
48 | | Kacey Musgraves Golden Hour
emotional likeness: some forgettable overrated bore 2018 |
47 | | Peace Kindness Is The New Rock And Roll
emotional likeness: an album that is the opposite of kindness, because it annoys you so much, preaches about rock and roll, which it has nothing to do with. |
46 | | TesseracT Sonder
emotional likeness: man, computer generated metal has really come a long way. |
45 | | Yo La Tengo There’s A Riot Going On
emotional likeness: still trying to ride off of that brief 1990s indie pre-britpop craze |
44 | | The Kooks Let's Go Sunshine
emotional likeness: still trying to ride off of that brief 2000s indie post-britpop craze |
43 | | Lykke Li So Sad So Sexy
emotional likeness: nah, just sad |
42 | | Janelle Monae Dirty Computer
emotional likeness: those people that tell you how much they love sex, but when it comes to it, they just lay there like "do the sex with me, human person" |
41 | | Mark Kozelek Mark Kozelek
emotional likeness: who actually thinks this guy has any musical talent? |
40 | | Sun Kil Moon This Is My Dinner
emotional likeness: oh, there are many people actually think this guy has a talent? okay… |
39 | | Vulcain Vinyle
emotional likeness: that thing your dad thinks is old |
38 | | Echo and The Bunnymen The Stars, The Oceans and The Moon
emotional likeness: at least they were really good live |
37 | | Kanye West ye
emotional likeness: yew |
36 | | Jack White Boarding House Reach
emotional likeness: Webster Dictionary defines 'bloated' as this fucking thing. |
35 | | State Champs Living Proof
emotional likeness: it's moldy cheese, but not the good edible mold |
34 | | Blessthefall Hard Feelings
emotional likeness: very in-the-moment, musically and thematically… said no one ever. |
33 | | Imagine Dragons Origins
emotional likeness: does anyone have any idea as to when and how and why they ever got big? |
32 | | Mayday Parade Sunnyland
emotional likeness: 3 Doors Down called. They're not mad you sound just like them, they just complained that nobody cares about them either. |
31 | | Family Fodder Easy Listening (Not)
emotional likeness: well, they did say it was not an easy listening |
30 | | Math and Physics Club Lived Here Before
emotional likeness: I can't really explain what made me dislike this album so much, but every time I try to put it back on, I just immediately fall asleep, so here's to the ultimate dull folk-pop album of the year. |
29 | | Trophy Eyes The American Dream
emotional likeness: a fall from grace so hard that it makes you question, whether there's been any grace to begin with |
28 | | Deaf Havana Rituals
emotional likeness: when you apply emo song-writing on a pop-rock album devoid of any rock whatsoever |
27 | | Half Japanese Why Not?
emotional likeness: Car Seat Headrest, 20 years later |
26 | | Exek Ahead of Two Thoughts
emotional likeness: weird for the sake of being weird |
25 | | A Perfect Circle Eat the Elephant
emotional likeness: a disgraceful return for a far from graceful band |
24 | | Three Days Grace Outsider
emotional likeness: copy and paste what I said about Mayday Parade, but with the exception that someone actually still listens to this band… somehow. It's also universally disliked. |
23 | | Riverside Wasteland
emotional likeness: the very process of becoming a eunuch |
22 | | Cardi B Invasion Of Privacy
emotional likeness: I first heard of her, when I some publication (the Pitchforks of the world) said that she was the biggest thing that year and it was impossible to not have heard of her… yeah. |
21 | | Titus Andronicus A Productive Cough
emotional likeness: a cough is a cough, no matter how productive |
20 | | Breaking Benjamin Ember
emotional likeness: this is like watching a mediocre blockbuster movie that is destined to bomb at the box office suddenly trying to convince you it has an important message to spread. |
19 | | Lebanon Hanover Let Them Be Alien
emotional likeness: turns out if you have low voice, sexually ambiguous preferences and half-decent synthesiser skill, you can pretend to be a darkwave post-punk act nowadays |
18 | | Bladee Icedancer
emotional likeness: first pubes growing: the album |
17 | | Ministry AmeriKKKant
emotional likeness: NPC#44557-C: "Orange man bad" |
16 | | Stone Temple Pilots Stone Temple Pilots (2018)
emotional likeness: just a healthy reminder that this band has never been good. |
15 | | Miles Kane Coup de Grace
emotional likeness: there's no real snarky comment here, it's just outrageously boring and tasteless |
14 | | The Weeknd My Dear Melancholy,
emotional likeness: obnoxious prick |
13 | | Panic! at the Disco Pray For The Wicked
emotional likeness: obnoxious prick(s) |
12 | | Hoobastank Push Pull
emotional likeness: just realised this thing came out this year. Man, completely forgot this band exists even. |
11 | | The Mowgli's I Was Starting to Wonder
emotional likeness: the exemplification of 'washed out pop' |
10 | | Thirty Seconds to Mars America
emotional likeness: oh hey, I suddenly believe the people who say that America is a dumpsterfire |
9 | | Titus Andronicus Home Alone on Halloween
emotional likeness: proof that The Monitor was the worst thing that ever happened to this band. It did to them what Nirvana did to alternative rock: became a symbol of greatness and literally murdered everything else to follow it. |
8 | | Godsmack When Legends Rise
emotional likeness: the early 00s called, they want their laughing stock back |
7 | | Against The Current Past Lives
emotional likeness: along the current, but, y'know, right in the middle, where you're drowned out by all the other stuff you copied |
6 | | Fall Out Boy M A N I A
emotional likeness: humpty bloaty had a great fall out boy |
5 | | Disturbed Evolution
emotional likeness: evolution is bullshit, it's all artificial design, but as it appears from this album… it's all devil. |
4 | | Gang of Four Complicit
emotional likeness: "we could have released like three classic LPs and an EP to top it off and leave as legends, but we decided to stick around for fucking ever" - the band |
3 | | Poppy Am I a Girl?
emotional likeness: computer-generated focus-grouped nonsense |
2 | | Bladee Redlight
emotional likeness: first pubes removal: the album |
1 | | Kero Kero Bonito TOTEP
emotional likeness: Bar Sachiko (and I refuse to listen to that full-length of theirs) |
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