User
Reviews 123 Approval 98%
Soundoffs 230 News Articles 8 Band Edits + Tags 1 Album Edits 185
Album Ratings 2276 Objectivity 84%
Last Active 09-26-19 3:01 pm Joined 01-26-17
Review Comments 9,464
| Sput Lazaretto..
to counteract that sickening nicefest the wonderful and lovely danielcardoso has organized on here.. | 1 | | Sickness Ornaments of Mutilation
Submit your name and I will tell you what kind of disorder your being makes me suffer from.. | 2 | | Personality Crisis Creatures for Awhile
butcherboy
like shoving the universe up its own arse.. | 3 | | Acid Reflux Acid Reflux
Unique
Can sometimes be confused for something far more serious like a Heartattack, but is generally just a persistent nuisance.. Symptoms include hoarseness and extra saliva.. | 4 | | Clubfeet Gold on Gold
nocuffin
Congenitally-fucked and unable to walk gracefully, which will be a problem as he is about to be evicted and pound the pavement with the rest of the hobos.. | 5 | | Dengue Fever Dengue Fever
Asdfp277
One of the symptoms of this condition is a severe pain behind your eyes, which is what I got when I saw that one of the four albums he rated as Classic had the word Pokemon in it.. | 6 | | Incontinence Infecting Paranoid Minds
neeka
As incontinent as only the mind that likes After Laughter, Villains and Science Fiction can be.. | 7 | | Amnesia Hysteria
Wren
Absent and not to be heard from for long periods of time, then descending on the site like an incurable plague, TheWrenKing is Amnesia personified in 1's and 0's.. Though we agree on a lot of musical opinions, I forget which and why and how and when and what.. | 8 | | Severe Dementia Epitaph Of Plassey EP
Space
His unabashed loved of psychedelic and tripped-out drony music can only be the product of a mind gone mushy from LSD and super minty tic tacs.. | 9 | | Swine Flu Demo
Sat
From what I gathered, Sat is a complex man trying hard to strike a better sunnier disposition in the face of his persisting shittiness.. Self-awareness may be his saviour yet, and therefore he may be the first person to cure Swine Flu artisanally.. | 10 | | Paralysis Patrons Of The Dark
Asleep
Asleep's main affectation is that he is so nice that it causes mutual Paralysis, both in him from being clearly unfit to live in this non-cotton candy world, and his listener who instantly becomes paralyzed with rage at his own shortcomings.. Bastard.. | 11 | | Herpes Medellin
Fripp
Let's face it, Fripp loves prog, prog goes on for ages, tapering off then springing back up again, feels lumpy and pus-dripping, and doesn't really ever end, does it? | 12 | | Cancer of the Larynx My Funeral
Sandwich
Which is what I feel I'm getting as we squabble over latter-day The Fall and Guided by Voices, and the 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 | 13 | | Blastomycosis The Putrid Smell Within
Tyler
A peculiar creature, I can't quite make up my mind about Tyler.. He seems alright, but also not at all.. also he knows a deep dark secret of mine, and I DO NOT feel like that secret is in safe hands, so this fungal infection that can transmitted to humans from dogs and vice versa seems apt.. | 14 | | Brain Tumors Brain Tumors LP
brainmelter
Will also accept Bad Brains, Brain Failure, Brainworms, Shit for Brains and other band names that suggest a brain that's meltier than ideal.. | 15 | | Birth Deformities Suburbanized
Flug
The ringmaster of discord, if you look at Flug's pie chart on Sput, the words that figure most often are Doom, Death, Black, Industrial, Gothic and Progressive, which sound like stages of grief you go through after realizing your band sucks and will never make it.. Deformities, i tell ya.. | 16 | | Hypothermia Svartkonst
sixdegrees
I remember sixdegrees mentioning Canadia and Vancouver, and though that part of Canadia is by no means hypothermia territory, it doesn't change the fact that the best thing about Vancouver is that Seattle is right across the bridge from it.. also, fuck hockey, eh? | 17 | | Psychosis Face (demo)
dbizz
mewithoutyou is not a good band, and if you keep listening to it, you'll have to do it youwithoutme, motherfucker.. | 18 | | Latent Anxiety Perception
Chort
Beyond the chronic migraines that your Sput arch nemesis provides you with, he's also rated the new oxbow album a full point below what it actually is, which can only mean one thing, unfortunately I have no idea what that thing may be.. Latent anxiety is a low-level unease that results from lingering trauma, which is perfect as Chort does not have the chutzpah, the will or the time to cause me full-on brown paper bag anxiety attacks!! | 19 | | Blunt Force Trauma Hatred For The State
Sint
I like Sint, and he gets far too much shite on this site for my liking, but his profile also says he's digging Brand New AND Converge, which really can only indicate severe Blunt Force Trauma to the ol' noggin.. | 20 | | Glaucoma Sturmgeschtz I
danielito
danielito is another strange creature.. I haven't interacted with him much, and we seem to dig a lot of the same music.. However, there's something, an inexplicable something about him that makes me feel that if we ever met in person, I'd push him into a photo booth, barricade the door and then feed the coin slot, until the photo flashes made him go blind.. Galucoma it is.. | 21 | | Catatonia International Velvet
bgill
bgill hearts Devin Townsend who hearts putting so many layers into his wall of sound music that the whole thing becomes like the world's least fun tiered cake.. The only solution to this is for me to get drunk on multiple Gin and Catatonics.. | 22 | | Spasm Lust For Feculent Orgasm
Friv
King Gizzard and the Cheezard Blizzard are easily one of the dullest revivalist acts in musical history and all people who like them give me one singular Spasm - which is to say, one small twitch that while outside the status quo, doesn't really affect me anymore than the shite music does.. Unique, you're in this camp as well.. | 23 | | Heart Attack [FRA] Stop Pretending
cylinder
A trip through cylinder's ratings is a journey fraught with confusion and puzzling dilemmas.. On the one hand, he gave decent ratings to some obscure punk gems like 23 Skidoo, he listens to the Cocteau Twins and seems to understand no-wave. On the other, the casualness with which his Experimental tastes slip into 'two japanese guys banging tin cups together and calling it minimal jazz' are enough to give me a Heart Attack! | 24 | | Delirium Tremens Violent Mosh Ground
Jack
Ah jack, jackie boy, jack-o, jackster, jackarac, the perennial sweetheart, so lovely and unassuming and bright-eyed and eloquent and silver-tongued that he is clearly harbouring a deep, dark, biblical rage inside him.. Rage that will eventually lead to alcoholism and having the DT's in public places, scaring small children and aggravating cops.. | 25 | | Hallucination Demo
Art
ArtBox 5'ed my favourite Jesus and Mary Chain album, so really he must be a rad enough guy.. And we've barely spoken since I've been part of this invalid circus called Sputnik.. But for posterity reasons, let's just say his mama is so fat that she chases yellow school buses around because she thinks they're Twinkies.. | 26 | | Cataract Cataract
Artuma
Artuma is yet another complicated man.. Seemingly cold and distant and prone to passing meanness, he will warm up at the unexpected moment, usually a propos nothing and to no one's convenience.. I think a lot of his anger stems from the fact that any day now, his home country of Finland will conscript him to fight Russians for Arctic Circle oil reserves, when really he's just a sweet little Finnish boy who wants to ride around on geese like Nils (I know that's Sweden).. and though that's a much nicer look at it, it also sounds like the worst Netflix movie ever made.. Those long Scandinavian nights will also eventually give him cataracts.. | 27 | | Jungle Rot Fueled by Hate
cozmo
cozmopazz is a Russian transplant in an age when the Cold War is about to shift into high gear again, so understandably, he's a bit high-strung and volatile, like a glass of vodka on a turbulent flight.. His musical dabbles in minimalism betray laziness and inability to play a melody wholly, but really he's a nice enough guy.. So i hope he gets Jungle Rot in a penny whorehouse in Cambodia.. | 28 | | The Ordinary Fear Of God My Hand, My Heart
Mort
Mort was mean to me about my abstract The Fall review, so it is all-evident, that the condition he suffers most from is puritan fear.. | 29 | | Super Flu Heimatmelodien
dan
Dan is the genesis point for this list.. He deemed himself saint-like enough to try and turn this place into a 60's flower child van filled with love, understanding and handjobs.. Though admittedly, it was pretty nice, I can't support that sort of positivism from a poetic standpoint, so I'm going to wish he gets the Super Flu, nothing too serious, but definitely more than regular ol' Flu. | 30 | | Fungus Predatory Harvest
Dewi
Look, Dewinged resides in Japan.. I used to go to Japan for visa runs every six months.. I know what's on offer there.. Here's a tepid glass of sake to the obscure, avant-garde crotch Fungus you can only catch from love motels.. | 31 | | White Guilt White Guilt
Blush
BlushfulHippocrene is essentially a poster-child of what an upstanding modern citizen should be.. He's kind, fairly informed, forms his own opinions but also listens to others.. He's accepting and tolerant and will lend a hand to anyone in need.. So really, the only thing that would ever kill such a pristine-faced boy is that beastly sanctimonious White Guilt.. | 32 | | Coronary Coronary
Doof
His rangy music tastes and snarky tendencies do little to reveal the uber-functional man that hides behind them.. Doof is gainfully employed, married, settled, adjusted and comfortable and just right-wing enough to fit into any social situation with respectability and an absence of dirty looks.. He will live a long life, packed with memory and finally kick it from a Coronary at age 89, when no one will give a fuck anymore because well-adjusted people make us sick on a long enough timeline.. Love ya, pal, congrats again! | 33 | | Extinction A.D. Plague Prophecy
Dinosaur
I don't know him very well.. He's a Dinosaur.. It's either you or me, buddy.. | 34 | | Hypoxia Despondent Death
Row
Rowan is staff, so he is technically The Man.. and as an anarcho-punk, it is my solemn duty to thrash against The Man.. The problem is, I'm not as sprightly as I used to be, and when given a choice between doing something or nothing, I will do nothing.. In making me realize that I am old and useless, Rowan has caused less oxygen to reach my tissues, depleting my body and mind until death.. The moral of the story - Colour and the Shape by the Foo Fighters IS NOT a 4.5 album! | 35 | | Gory Blister Art Bleeds
Stick
Don't remember ever saying a word to you, which I can only assume is due to hideous Gory Blisters, yours or mine, I'm not sure.. | 36 | | Amputee Convulsions
Soccer
SoccerRiot writes some pretty great reviews that I love reading.. Unfortunately, he writes most of them about music I think is better suited to be used during Gitmo torture.. So in a sense, he is like an amputated arm.. looks like a regular arm, feels like a regular arm, but if you pick your nose with it in public, people will scream and run away.. | 37 | | Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis Aromatica Germenexcitación en Orgías De Viscosa Y
All staff/mods and other such overlords
Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis is a very rare disorder that afflicts silent majority partners in corporations and despots of small arbitrary countries that possess no natural resources or geopolitical value.. | 38 | | Death (MI) ...For the Whole World to See
butcher
The final stage of this lazaretto.. take me, Jebus, Allah, you chip of blinking shite, you hydra etc.. | |
butcherboy
09.06.17 | come on, i'm bored! | Papa Universe
09.06.17 | Bring it on, cuntknuckle | Papa Universe
09.06.17 | And make it juicy | Papa Universe
09.06.17 | You dill-twat-shite-cuntropocene-fuckbucket-cumscumbum-deadshit-motherfucker-fathersucker-sistertwister-brotherrider-swinefaced-cuntblood, you. You got me good. | Asdfp277
09.06.17 | do it | neekafat
09.06.17 | boi | TheWrenKing
09.06.17 | s u b m i t | TheSpaceMan
09.06.17 | yoo | Satellite
09.06.17 | do me do me do me | Papa Universe
09.06.17 | Just an hour ago, everyone was happy to spread love and positivity. Guess that just goes to show you that Sput is really the bipolar psycho of the music websites. | Papa Universe
09.06.17 | Nocuffin: Tell them that you're raising awareness of homeless people and they'll even support you. | AsleepInTheBack
09.06.17 | Oh me please | Frippertronics
09.06.17 | Let's see what you got | SandwichBubble
09.06.17 | ignite the 🔥 of war | Tyler.
09.06.17 | hit me | brainmelter
09.06.17 | fuck me up | butcherboy
09.06.17 | it is at this point that I would like to point out that i'm only kidding (some of the time) | SandwichBubble
09.06.17 | not for my prognosis though right? | Papa Universe
09.06.17 | The spice, the spice is heating up... | SandwichBubble
09.06.17 | Agreed, @TheWrenKing needs to be more active | butcherboy
09.06.17 | yes, yes, negativity, ahhh!!! | AsleepInTheBack
09.06.17 | that might be the nicest negative thing I think anyone has ever said about me < 3 | SandwichBubble
09.06.17 | I do it out of love 🔥
also, that Tyler. diagnosis REALLY GETS ME THINKING BUTCHER...
| Tyler.
09.06.17 | :thinking_spinner: | Flugmorph
09.06.17 | come at me | dbizzles
09.06.17 | Fuck you, butcher baby. Bring the heat. | Asdfp277
09.06.17 | tyler fucked me up | butcherboy
09.06.17 | i put the evil in weevil,, | TheSpaceMan
09.06.17 | im more than the drugs im on | butcherboy
09.06.17 | you've clearly never taken heroin then.. | TheSpaceMan
09.06.17 | well... | TheSpaceMan
09.06.17 | ive never injected h yea | Flugmorph
09.06.17 | damn that was devastating you
ass | Chortles
09.06.17 | ok do me | Sinternet
09.06.17 | hey | danielito19
09.06.17 | Hit me son | butcherboy
09.06.17 | thar we go.. | bgillesp
09.07.17 | Yo | Frivolous
09.07.17 | yo [2] | butcherboy
09.07.17 | need to research more disease band names.. | Asdfp277
09.07.17 | butcher: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/soundoff.php?albumid=33983 | butcherboy
09.07.17 | hahaha, amazing! | cylinder
09.07.17 | I'm scared but I need to know | cylinder
09.07.17 | Hahaha get on my level boiii | SandwichBubble
09.07.17 | No goddamn way did you just put a band called Heart Attack on this list right when I finished listening to the USA Heart Attack's EP
me and butch are in sync | butcherboy
09.07.17 | oooooh yea | SandwichBubble
09.07.17 | Not even joking, I was looking for bands to listen to on 99 Records, saw a band called Heart Attack. right when I finished listening I clicked on this list and was spooked | verdant
09.07.17 | meme memememe | ArtBox
09.07.17 | hey it me | butcherboy
09.07.17 | will update soon, the last person to ask will get the coolest of the diseases | Artuma
09.07.17 | good list, better than daniel's hug circle for sure | cosmopazz
09.07.17 | artuma answer plssss im dyinnn without your love | Mort.
09.07.17 | morty boy | cosmopazz
09.07.17 | omg what a fag
seriously fuck you i'll never speak to you directly again, but i will speak about you so don't worry guys it's just that my heart is broken | cosmopazz
09.07.17 | shut up mort this is serious | danielcardoso
09.07.17 | "to counteract that sickening nicefest the wonderful and lovely danielcardoso has organized on here.."
Lmao. | Mort.
09.07.17 | sorry cosmo my written apology is in the mail | Dewinged
09.07.17 | I am harmless Butch, u know it | BlushfulHippocrene
09.07.17 | Yes, please, butcher. | butcherboy
09.07.17 | updating as we go.. | verdant
09.07.17 | actually butcher i'll have you know........................shit, tru | DoofusWainwright
09.07.17 | Uh, butch roast me I guess :D | DinosaurJones
09.07.17 | Go for it. I'm pretty much completely inoffensive. Then again, I guess that could be used against me. | butcherboy
09.07.17 | there.. | danielcardoso
09.07.17 | "I'm going to wish he gets the Super Flu, nothing too serious, but definitely more than regular ol' Flu."
Lol. | butcherboy
09.07.17 | 32 people in this lazaretto.. | BlushfulHippocrene
09.07.17 | I'm not white, but I do have much guilt. (Thank you < 3) | butcherboy
09.07.17 | are you not? what're you and where're you from, Blush? | Papa Universe
09.07.17 | He's Bato from the Water Tribe... | butcherboy
09.07.17 | i'm a little country, he's a little rock n' roll.. | Papa Universe
09.07.17 | You're a little Antoni Tàpies, he's a little Joos de Momper. | butcherboy
09.07.17 | hahahha, cheeky or not, being compared to tapies is fucking grand in my book.. the man was brilliant.. | Rowan5215
09.07.17 | butcher me, boi | butcherboy
09.07.17 | still waiting for the last amazing one to use.. | StickFeit
09.07.17 | You got nothing on me. | Papa Universe
09.07.17 | That's only because you're are unnoteworthy. Booyah, roasted! | StickFeit
09.07.17 | Imma highfive a train. with my head. | butcherboy
09.07.17 | no, don't.. you'll pop your gory blisters! | Rowan5215
09.07.17 | I've been well and truly toasted, thanks butch | Koris
09.07.17 | Sup bitch | butcherboy
09.07.17 | mhm.. | danielcardoso
09.07.17 | "looks like a regular arm, feels like a regular arm, but if you pick your nose with it in public, people will scream and run away.." - probably my favorite so far lol. | butcherboy
09.07.17 | that's it, list done, I care not for this anymore!! | Dewinged
09.07.17 | Aaah yes. The Fungus. ;) | Deathconscious
09.07.17 | Give me a whipping. | Deathconscious
09.07.17 | Lazy ass. | butcherboy
09.07.17 | fine, i'll do it in a bit.. | danielito19
09.10.17 | thank you | neekafat
10.19.17 | Hey >:( |
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