ArsMoriendi
Cyan isn\'t a shade of blue.
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Last Active 12-09-22 12:08 am
Joined 08-22-13

Review Comments 41,033

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04.30.24 Ranking Butthole Surfers Studio stuff 03.22.24 Sputnik’s Sacred Clowns
03.21.24 Pram02.19.24 ###NeoFoLK TaG FeST
02.15.24 idiotican can't take criticism01.08.24 Inverted Umbrella 2023-24 Results:
01.01.24 25 most listened to songs in 202312.31.23 Round 11: Inverted Umbrella Competition
12.25.23 Round 10: Inverted Umbrella Competition12.17.23 Round 9: Inverted Umbrella Competition
12.10.23 Round 8: Inverted Umbrella Competition12.03.23 Round 7: Inverted Umbrella Competition
11.30.23 NEW TAGS ARRIVED! K-Pop and J-Pop (help 11.27.23 Round 6: Inverted Umbrella Competition
11.24.23 Who Has a "New" Genre Tag on Their Pie 11.20.23 Round 5: Inverted Umbrella Competition
11.13.23 Round 4: Inverted Umbrella Competition11.06.23 Round 3: Inverted Umbrella Competition
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Pitch Rec Results

You might actually be surprised by my choices. I will explain why I didn't pick the other 24, but Top 5 are ranked and I shall listen to all of them in July.
29The Amity Affliction
Youngbloods


Pitch #1: HeckToPay

I never had an emo phase and just the thought of "Emotional synth infused metelcore breakdowns" repels me completely.
28Third Eye Blind
Third Eye Blind


Pitch #2: Conmaniac

Your pitch was good, but, I don't have the nostalgia for "Semi-Charmed Life" you claimed I need in your pitch and a lot of other pitches used the "great Summer album!" angle a bit better.
27Brand New
Deja Entendu


Pitch #3: Funeralopolis

The whole "re-seeking youth" angle isn't honestly that appealing to me.
26Ozric Tentacles
Arborescence


Pitch #4: JasonCarne

This pitch was actually really appealing to me, probably could have been a winner if there were so many pitches. I guess you were a little vaguer than some of the winners...
25Ichiko Aoba
0%


Pitch #6: Toad

Most of this pitch sounded like nonsense honestly. I'm sure it's probably a wonderful live folk album, but you didn't really grab me.
24Million Dead
A Song to Ruin


Pitch #7: Tunaboy45

Too much of an emotional/lyric based pitch. Like I had to look up the genre myself to even find out what this was.
23Bomb the Music Industry!
Vacation


Pitch #8: SnakeDelilah

Don't be too disappointed that this didn't, this one was in the top 10 when I was rounding them down. you explained the album well and the Billy Mays approach was amazing. I guess there were just some that were slightly more appealing.
22The Wytches
Annabel Dream Reader


Pitch #9: PattBraderson

A lot of the punk pitches were good, but there weren't so many that most just melded together and while this pitch was fine, I can't really say it stood out.
21Order From Chaos
An Ending In Fire


Pitch #10: pissbore

This pitch was just short of the rule about length (Had to be at least 3 sentences) but I decided to include it anyway... still the pitch didn't say enough to top the list.
20The Dillinger Escape Plan
Irony Is a Dead Scene


Pitch #11: TVC15

Wow this pitch was lengthy. I almost felt like it made it shoe in, but honestly I just heard Peeping Tom in June and aren't really in a new Patton kind of mood. I also felt like this choice was a little too safe and the fact that the EP is so short, I felt like I was cheating the other pitches.
19Local H
Whatever Happened to P.J. Soles?


Pitch #12: Supercoolguy64

"Local H prove themselves to be the modern day equivalent to The Led Beatles,"

You make them sound like their behind their time... anachronistic.

"A concept album about a once famous individual who now lives as some washed up, cynical celebrity,"

Makes me think of Ziggy Stardust for some reason...
18Scott Kelly
The Wake


Pitch #13: AdolfChrist

If I was SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF ALL THOSE INDIE FOLK LOVIN' HIPSTERS, this might have been the perfect pitch. Too bad that that's not me at all.
17Melt-Banana
Fetch


Pitch #15: JigglyPDiddy

I've never snorted meth, sorry.
16The National
Alligator


Pitch #16: MistaCrave

Again with the emotional appeal. I feel like the problem with this direction is that no one knows how to emotionally appeal to me so it usually ends up failing. Like your pitch doesn't describe me like it's hoping it does.
15Iggy Pop
The Idiot


Pitch #17: Frippertronics

Your frequent mention of Bowie did make me think this one might be one of the winners, but I preferred at least 5 pitches to this so I don't know... it was close, like top 10.
14Kyuss
Welcome to Sky Valley


Pitch #18: CaimanJesus

A solid pitch, but yet again a lot of the pitches were more personally appealing to me than this. Josh Homme is seemingly a cool dude though.
13Nas
Illmatic


Pitch #19: EvilEyez

Your pitch was directly copy/pasted from another list, a troll list nonetheless. lol
12The Boo Radleys
C'mon Kids


Pitch #21: zakalwe

Decent for such a short pitch, but there wasn't enough here to hook me as much as the top 5. It was top 10 though.
11Anal Cunt
Picnic of Love


Pitch #23: ConcubinaryCode

Hilarious, but I'm not choosing this one over the others since I don't have any faith that i'll give this anything higher than a 3.5.
10Spiritualized
Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space


Pitch #24: TheSpaceMan

Don't worry I've already alerted the authorities of your plan. ;)
9Slipknot
Iowa


Pitch #25: oltnabrick

You copied this from your Slipknot ranked list. C'mon man. Also the heaviest album of all time doesn't really sound like my thing either.
8Napalm Death
The Peel Sessions


Pitch #26: rabidfish

"screeches and groans that just exude with the purest form of anger"
"The HATE you, they hate themselves and they will forever hate everything forever. More than any other Grind or power violence band"

Not appealing to me in the slightest.
7The God Machine
Scenes from the Second Storey


Pitch #27: Willie

When I saw Willie pitched something I was excited. Wow a mod! And a like Jane's Addiction's earlier stuff so I had a hook. Unfortunately, I still like 5 more pitches than this, and maybe even 10 more than this. Oh well.
6Los Jaivas
Alturas de Machu Picchu


Pitch #28: MrSirLordGentleman

This sounds really cool, very similar approach to the Ozric Tentacles pitch and the Andes prog thing made me think of Zappa, but overall it wasn't my favorite pitch. Another top 10 one.
5Thank You Scientist
Maps of Non-Existent Places


5TH PLACE WINNER: Pitch #22: DinosaurJones

"Ever been confused about what genre you wanted to be?" This makes no sense, but I'm intrigued.
"Do you have part of an orchestra in your band?" I'm not in a band, but I'm still intrigued.
"Well, if horns worked for ska, and violin worked for Yellowcard, then why not combine them?" This worries me, but somehow I'm still excited!
"Thank You Scientist's Maps of Non-Existent Places features tapping solos, jazzy bridges, and toe-tapping, infectious, venereal disease-like choruses. But you'll be okay catching this one!" Fuck it, WINNER. Bring on the venereal disease confused jazzy whatever this is!
4Gotye
Like Drawing Blood


4TH PLACE WINNER: Pitch #14: theNateman

Someone That I Used to Know is a decent little pop song, so when you said that Gotye has an album that "takes the best out of 60's pop vocals, funky sampling and groovy dance tunes to the next fucken level!" I could only ever wonder what the hell that meant. Samples? 60s pop? Funk? I'm ready.
3Pavement
Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain


3RD PLACE WINNER: Pitch #29: danielcardoso

The last pitch was a great one. Congratulations on being the only review to use the word "experimental." You basically implied that this genre-hops within 1 album which I'm a sucker for. And while the "summer band" pitch had been used before, I was actually invested more here because of the other information. Also the fact that you mentioned that they incorporate humor into the music also hooked me.
2The Dismemberment Plan
Emergency & I


2ND PLACE WINNER: Pitch #20: SurfWaxAmerica

"Ever been distraught about people who you call your friends going to social interactions without you? How about feeling generally jaded and feeling a little pent up as you enter your early 20s?" The only emotional pitch that actually made me relate... jaded, pent up yeah. The descriptions of the instrumentation also seemed incredibly cool. It probably helps that I was interested in checking this band before the pitch, but hey.
1Standish/Carlyon
Deleted Scenes


1ST PLACE WINNER: Pitch #5: THeGreatQ

The haunting sexual sci-fil novel approach really caught my eye. Not only was this one of the most unique pitches, but it kept me at the edge of my seat. If I had a night even reminiscent of this, it'd be wonderful and if this album actually reminds of the description, it'll be a very hard 5.
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