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User
Reviews 1
Approval 0%
Album Ratings 19
Objectivity 82%
Last Active 05-19-16 12:47 pm
Joined 05-19-16
Review Comments 2
| Weezer albums ranked 1-10
I love weezer and I love ranking things! Might as well, right? | | 1 |  | Weezer
Weezer
Between the first two (and undisputed best) weezer albums, hardcore fans tend to prefer Pinkerton. I don't blame them; it's a much more interesting album. It's much more personal, it has a "legend" and an aftermath, and is the most unique of their albums. The blue album (or just Weezer) doesn't have those things, but it makes up for it by just being damn incredible music. It's 40 minutes of awesome alt rock goodness that never slows down and has no dips in quality. The songs are carried by Rivers Cuomo's great ability for writing melodies, meaning each song is distinct and memorable and there's not a single wasted note. Epic closer "Only In Dreams" is the best track on here, and "Surf Wax America" is probably the worst, but they're all awesome. | | 2 |  | Weezer
Pinkerton
Perhaps due to it's more personal nature, Pinkerton is a little harder to appreciate - the blue album is something you can throw on any day of the week and rock out, but a specific mindset is required to fully enjoy this album. Maybe an angry type of sad, or a sad type of angry. When you do listen to Pinkerton at that certain time in your life, it just might resonate with you in a way that nothing has. From the hopeless desire to "make love come true" in "Tired of Sex" to the creepy yet relatable confession of "Across the Sea" to the damned optimism of "Falling for You," every song means something. Outside of the lyrics, Pinkerton is much more abrasive and loud than all the other albums. Rivers isn't afraid to scream here, and the band's trademark distortion is as screeching as ever. This album is quite the experience, but it might not be for everyone and is not indicative of the band's sound. Standouts are "Falling For You" and "Across the Sea" but once again they're all great. | | 3 |  | Weezer
The Green Album
Probably my most controversial placement! Gone are the crunchy guitars and the trademark distortion that characterized the first two, and in their place is stripped down pop rock. The songs here are formulaic, an intentional contrast to Pinkerton. Each song sounds more or less the same, and each solo simply follows the vocal melody. Still, the first 4 tracks are distinct and great pop with "Hash Pipe" sporting the heaviest sound on the album and "Island in the Sun" the lightest - both are great. After this, things start to get pretty samey. On first listen the songs seem to blend together, but standouts are clear on repeat listens. "Smile" features a gorgeous melody and the outro to "Simple Pages" is awesome. "O Girlfriend" is a gem, with personal lyrics and a melancholy sound that hints that maybe, buried underneath the "Crab" and "Glorious Day," "Across the Sea" is still in there somewhere. TGA accomplishes what it was trying to - it's 30 minutes of great pop rock and then it ends. | | 4 |  | Weezer
Everything Will Be Alright in the End
Weezer's comeback, huh? This album has some kind of epic feel, with the cover art, title, and ending encompassing that. This is a good album, but is much more inconsistent album than the first three on this list. "Back to the Shack" is the absolute low point, a Hurlitude-quality track apologizing for... Hurlitude. Ugh. Other tracks like "Eulogy for a Rock Band" and "Go Away" fail to rise above mediocrity and serve as boring filler. Still, "Cleopatra" and "The British are Coming" are incredible blue-quality tracks that prove more than anything that they've still got it. "Ain't Got Nobody" and "Foolish Father" are other standouts, and while I think the latter is a better ending than the Futurescope trilogy, I can not deny that the 7 minute closer is pretty epic. Although it fails to meet the quality of the two classics, this is a solid album and a good reassurance that weezer's still a great band. | | 5 |  | Weezer
The White Album
Honestly, this is probably better than EWBAITE. It lacks the low points that the previous album did, and is much more consistent in it's high quality. I think the reason I prefer EWBAITE is because it felt like it had a purpose and had a strong tone. This one has the binding theme of "beach album," but you wouldn't know it from tracks like the Pinkerton-esque "Do You Wanna Get High?" or the modern yet bizarre "Thank God For Girls." Not to say this album is bad - anything but. "LA Girlz" is the best track on either album and is up there with the greats, and "Jacked Up" and aforementioned "Girls" forge new territory for the band, and are mostly successful. "Wind In Our Sail" is hard to describe as anything but a great weezer song. I don't think any other band could pull that one off. In conclusion, this is a good mix of Blue and Green but fails to leave any strong impact. | | 6 |  | Weezer
Maladroit
The first half of this list I would describe as "good albums." Maladroit and the rest, I think, lack that distinction. Casual fans really love this album, and I can see why. On the surface, it's got a good sound, it's varied, and it's got some sick solos. But dig just a little deeper, and it falls apart. The lyrics are 100% nonsense, lacking even the coherence that Green had. This doesn't hurt poppy tracks like "Dope Nose" or gem "Burndt Jamb" but ruins otherwise cool sounding songs like "Slave" and "Death and Destruction" as well as steals from the album any kind of personality. Maybe because it was made in less than a year, but most of the songs lack the nuance and melody that most other weezer songs do. Hum "Fall Together" right now. Can you do it? If you can I'd be very surprised. This is a decent album, but lacks the personality, melody, and lyricism that made the first 5 good. I will give that this album has some of the coolest weezer solos, as well as some great drum fills. | | 7 |  | Weezer
The Red Album (Deluxe Edition)
The Red Album is a tragedy! Produced in a creative burst, this album features some of the most interesting weezer tracks of all, and also some of the worst drek. Some of the best cuts like "Pig" and "Miss Sweeney" are relegated to the deluxe bonus tracks, while the pointless inclusion of one of every other band member's songs fails to produce more than mediocre results. Incredible songs like "Greatest Man" and "The Angel and the One" are complemented by shit like "Everybody Get Dangerous" and "Cold Dark World." Rearrange the tracklist a bit and you've got an album that truly rivals the first two, but unfortunately we live in the dimension that got a crummy Red Album. Some of the few things that these songs share are great production and interesting, if dumb at times, lyricism. "Troublemaker" is pretty stupid but there's nothing like singing along to it on a happy day. | | 8 |  | Weezer
Make Believe
This album was trying to be a lot of things, and those ideas all contrast with eachother in an awful way. There's sellout pop kind of stuff with "Beverly Hills" and "We Are All On Drugs," there's some kind of mellow album here with "Damage In Your Heart" and "Freak Me Out," and a clear attempt to make a more mature Pinkerton with "Pardon Me" and "The Other Way." The album ends up feeling jumbled and weird. Similar to Red, there's a big difference in quality here, albeit not as large of a gap. Crap like "We Are All On Drugs" and "My Best Friend" destroyed hope in weezer fans nationwide, while "The Other Way" remains an excellent poppy tune. The lyrics here sometimes try to be personal, but end up bland and uninteresting. Once in a blue moon this album hits a perfect sweet spot, but is never touched otherwise. | | 9 |  | Weezer
Raditude
This album is all the drek of Red without the awesome stuff. Clean and poppy tracks like "I'm Your Daddy" (ew) and "Let It All Hang Out" star boring instrumentation and facepalm worthy lyrics. More traditional weezer tracks like "Tripping Down The Freeway" and "The Girl Got Hot" are killed by the pandering and retarded lyricism. "Can't Stop Partying" is the band's nadir, ruining a somber and interesting demo by adding dumb dance production and an awful Lil Wayne verse. All that said, "In the Mall" might be the stupidest track on the album. Opener "I Want You To" and closer "I Don't Want to Let You Go" are alright, but 2 ok songs does not a good album make. Avoid at all costs. | | 10 |  | Weezer
Hurley
This is the worst weezer album because it lacks personality. It's similar to Maladroit in that it was pumped out way too fast, it lacks any depth at all, and is not memorable in the slightest. However, unlike Maladroit, it lacks sweet solos and a good sound, and is plagued by it's own problems. Raditude shit returns in the form of "Where's My Sex?" and "Smart Girls" and the rest isn't much better, with each song relegating itself to boring pop mush that you'll forget in an instant or just straight up Maladroit nonsense. There's one single solo on this entire album and it's 12 seconds long (it's on "Smart Girls" and it's not that bad, so why is there no more?). Audio issues are also present, with clicking, clipping, and volume issues embarrassingly noticeable. Acoustic tune "Unspoken" is decent if you don't mind the weirdass goblin voice Rivers sings with, and "Smart Girls" is a rare guilty pleasure, but everything else just sucks.
And do NOT get me started on "Memories." | |
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