Sriracha: Hawks' Facebook Statuses

Sriracha 12.06.12	list is not ranked b/c I've never actually heard a full CoF album
evilford 12.06.12	lmfao
ButteryBiscuitBass 12.06.12	Who is this guy?
evilford 12.06.12	8 kills me hahhahahah
Sriracha 12.06.12	fuck dem bitches n hoes
KSK1 12.06.12	7 is the only funny one
JohnnyoftheWell 12.06.12	Feature 7 ohmyfuck
Winsomniac 12.06.12	Sriracha is delicious!
SCREAM! 12.06.12	Hahahaha I miss these statuses
MO 12.06.12	lol good 'ol hawks, rawks!!
Spec 12.06.12	List made me laugh. Feature?
peaks40 12.06.12	i want this guy on facebook
evilford 12.06.12	yeah best list I've seen in a while
apert 12.06.12	sort of status you'd expect from a 15 year old
KjSwantko 12.06.12	Hawks speakin' truth
Funeralopolis 12.06.12	hawks is very angry
Eclecticist 12.06.12	Hawks sounds like the epitome of the drunken guy you meet at a sports bar early on a wednesday morning that you wish you hadn't because he has the wwwoooorrrrrrsssttttttt advice for life.
SCREAM! 12.06.12	kek
theacademy 12.06.12	pos hard
hitman 12.06.12	nah he just sounds like an angry white boy that listens to too much hip-hop [2] this is pretty hilarious tho
SCREAM! 12.06.12	smae
AtomicWaste 12.06.12	Hawks for president.
Eclecticist 12.06.12	Yea he sounds like a borderline juggalo sort of if his thoughts made slightly less sense
Scoot 12.06.12	there were some better ones in the past
ViperAces 12.06.12	lol what is his fb anyway
anarchistfish 12.06.12	7 lol
SCREAM! 12.06.12	"lol what is his fb anyway" see my last comment
Eclecticist 12.06.12	For some reason, everytime I read one of those statuses I always imagine that they are said with the infamous southern drawl
ViperAces 12.06.12	is he the one working at my mom's house
SCREAM! 12.06.12	yooooo
anarchistfish 12.06.12	there's loads of ryan pecoraros I hope it's this one http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/BigPeck?fref=ts
SCREAM! 12.06.12	ehh
ViperAces 12.06.12	lol nice hat bro
ViperAces 12.06.12	il add him tho he dosent even kno me
wabbit 12.06.12	god's work
Sriracha 12.06.12	swag
Scoot 12.06.12	his myspace was amazing
Eclecticist 12.06.12	now I wanna see his Myspace
Sriracha 12.06.12	link plz
alachlahol 12.06.12	damn hawks has been shootin kids n killin hoes since 2007
alachlahol 12.06.12	die you miserable fucks
alachlahol 12.06.12	fat bitches need to keep my name outta their mouths before i end their lives
ViperAces 12.06.12	"the only hoes he's got is the one he waters his lawn with" omg haha
Electric City 12.06.12	holy shit
alachlahol 12.06.12	hep kat that hoes joke^ wasgood by the way ha
Eclecticist 12.06.12	He wouldn't survive a day in Ottawa, you talk like that and you get slapped with a lawsuit.
Ignimbrite 12.06.12	I have him friended and it's generally 0-3.
alachlahol 12.06.12	15 yr old bitches gettin pregnnt fukin smuts lol like this if you agree
MO 12.06.12	wow he doesn't look anything like I thought
ViperAces 12.06.12	yea i hoped for a 200 lbs sweden with 10 feet long beart
TheSpirit 12.06.12	You must be pretty bored with your pathetic life to make a list like this.
Satellite 12.06.12	oh, hawks
Tyrael 12.06.12	Lol don't waste your time getting mad at trolls Spirit ;]
bloc 12.06.12	Wait, this is actually real?
SCREAM! 12.06.12	haven't had him on FB for a while but yeah, this is exactly the type of stuff he would post
SCREAM! 12.06.12	tbhimo
TheSpirit 12.06.12	I'm not mad at all, its just sad people think this is funny when chances are their statuses are just as riduculous
alachlahol 12.06.12	you showed him
Satellite 12.06.12	http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?listid=80576
bloc 12.06.12	"how he hates seeing hot girls dating ugly fucks blah blah blah." I get similar rants from one of my close friends more often than I'd like to admit
Uranium 12.06.12	wasn't expectin hawks to look like a wanksta
ViperAces 12.06.12	are you somone's alt scream?
FictionalFlames 12.06.12	^
Tyrael 12.06.12	'I'm not mad at all, its just sad people think this is funny when chances are their statuses are just as riduculous' This is why I hardly post anything on facebook. Maybe a song or a semi-serious news article but that's it.
SCREAM! 12.06.12	dude check when I joined the site I've been here longer than most users, let alone alts haha
Mickeymau5 12.06.12	nah he just sounds like an angry white boy that listens to too much hip-hop [4374823752]
ViperAces 12.06.12	ha never saw you until lately
Recspecs 12.06.12	Fuck
Inveigh 12.06.12	wait a second, Bulldog has an alt in this thread? "@bulldawg: it's field mob lyrics c'mon man i thought u had mad iq on rapgenius??????"
apert 12.06.12	his myspace is so pathetic, "i hate 98% of the teachers" how fucking lame is this guy
savagecabbage 12.06.12	whoa
tarkus 12.06.12	hes had a few better statuses but still list rules
NoMeansYes 12.06.12	7 and 8 are priceless, but is he older than 10?
AtomicWaste 12.06.12	Changed my mind, Scream for president.
tarkus 12.06.12	hes like 20
Sriracha 12.07.12	"hes had a few better statuses but still list rules" I know that some hilarious ones were left off here, but it's difficult to browse older posts on Facebook. Trust me: I tried.
foxblood 12.07.12	hahaha what a badass lol 10
Eclecticist 12.07.12	"http://www.myspace.com/cofdb666" HAHAHAHAHA
Sriracha 12.07.12	"VH1 and MTV reality shows are the shit"
Aids 12.07.12	this is amazing and Sriracha is the best hot sauce, you rule you people that don't know hawks: damn dude, damn. you missed a true legend.
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	He's still around, but he's significantly toned it down.
Aids 12.07.12	:nah he just sounds like an angry white boy that listens to too much hip-hop" that's exactly who he is. Tyler the Creator is his god.
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	Ha, I remember that review.
Shuyin 12.07.12	its all true
Eclecticist 12.07.12	this list was almost equally as entertaining as the new snoop lion video
Aids 12.07.12	his AMA on Reddit was so fucking funny.
demigod! 12.07.12	"why do you carry an umbrella?" "fo drizzle" classic
mindleviticus 12.07.12	this is hilarious
tarkus 12.07.12	dammit hawks removed me on facebook without me noticing cant find his profile anymore
Sriracha 12.07.12	guys we got ourselves another winner "Man this Yoohoo is good. You know what else is good? Smoking dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know? Puffing the cheeba. Go by the see-saw smoke a J. You know what I'm talking about?"
TheFonz123 12.07.12	"These fat bitches need to keep my name outta their mouths before I end their lives." I read that and I burst out laughing.
mindleviticus 12.07.12	is Hawks that black metal guy?
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	why u guys troll negging all my reviews can i get them deleting fuck bitches 24/7 if they don't they cunts list = bm digs
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	i hate u all u fucking cheating sluts go jump in a volcano and burn slowly oh sorry that wouldn't happen slowly get rolled over by a steam-roller that would be slowly list = recent hip-hop diggities m/ #yolo
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	forest poetry worst bm ever one week later: "so i was wrong about this album 4/5"
SCREAM! 12.07.12	listens once 5/5
TheFonz123 12.07.12	sriracha is not my favorite hot sauce I must say
Eclecticist 12.07.12	"forest poetry worst bm ever one week later: "so i was wrong about this album 4/5"" LOL
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	As far as condiment-y hot sauces (the kinds that you can dump on 95% of foods and that you can find at Safeway) go, my favorite is Frank's Redhot (extra hot if they have it). Actual hot sauces are a different story entirely.
Apollo 12.07.12	"I hate people that can't control their kids. Honestly shut the little fuckers up before I shoot them" hahahahahahahaha fucking hell, Hawks is my buddy but he uses FB a tad too much
SCREAM! 12.07.12	"Frank's Redhot (extra hot if they have it)" fuck yes. That stuff can add life to just about anything
Eclecticist 12.07.12	You guys have no taste in hot sauce.
SCREAM! 12.07.12	well to be fair I've tried a couple of different kinds of Franks (extra hot is the best imo), tabasco and that random brand they carry at lone star. I'm no connoisseur haha
TheFonz123 12.07.12	"As far as condiment-y hot sauces (the kinds that you can dump on 95% of foods and that you can find at Safeway) go, my favorite is Frank's Redhot (extra hot if they have it). Actual hot sauces are a different story entirely. " absolutely to all of this. Frank's isn't spicy it's just its own thing. A section of my family is jamaican and they make their own really spicy shit so if I want spicy I get some of that. I also like tobasco
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	"You guys have no taste in hot sauce." We're merely discussing the kinds that you can usually find at a grocery store. Again, when you get into the real stuff everything changes. "fucking hell, Hawks is my buddy but he uses FB a tad too much" and agreed hard
TheFonz123 12.07.12	I don't really consider franks to be "hot sauce" so much as it's own condiment but I like it. I went through a phase where I put tobasco on EVERYTHING
Eclecticist 12.07.12	Next time you are at the grocery store, pick up a bottle of Dante's Inferno. While I find it mild my friends have said that more than a few drops nearly put holes in their tongues.
TheFonz123 12.07.12	yeah I'll remember that, I love hot sauce but I know very little about the different kinds-I just know what I like. But i'll get that shit
Apollo 12.07.12	I didn't know one could be elitist about hot sauce. Anyways, I'm half Jamaican and there are a ton of amazing Jamaican hot sauces/sauces/rubs that work well on any kind of meat. But I fucking love my Franks Red Hot Buffalo Style on almost anything and everything.
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	I think I've tried that one. I don't remember it super well, so it probably didn't make a big impression on me, but I'll give it another go if I see it again. As far as pure flavor goes, this one is one of the best I've ever tried. It's not super hot, but it tastes so damn good. Sauces with few ingredients often taste the best, and this is no exception. http://www.shoporganic.com/product/organic-harvest-chipotle-habanero-hot-sauce/brand_organic_harvest_foods
Eclecticist 12.07.12	Dante's Inferno has different levels of spiciness so you can gradually build your tolerance. While it is not hot enough to impress your indian spouse it will at least get you to the point were you can start enjoying the good stuff they sell at conventions and farmer's markets.
Eclecticist 12.07.12	"http://www.shoporganic.com/product/organic-harvest-chipotle-habanero-hot-sauce/brand_organic_harvest_foods" That looks potent! Though, Habañero's are closer towards the bottom of the hierarchy of spicy peppers. "I didn't know one could be elitist about hot sauce." You can be elitist about anything really.
Apollo 12.07.12	I'd put money down that this alt is Nick...
Eclecticist 12.07.12	I'm butcheredchildren, this has been known for a while lol
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	"Habañero's are closer towards the bottom of the hierarchy of spicy peppers." No shit, but they're way more common (and the sauces are generally cheaper) than Jolokias and the like. I mean, come on: this is a 32oz bottle of nectar from the gods for only $13.
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	32oz of the cheapest of, say, Blair's would put you out at least $50, and the expensive ones go by hundreds per ounce.
Eclecticist 12.07.12	see I buy directly from the producer, you can save a lot of money by just buying hot sauces at farmer's markets
Apollo 12.07.12	"I'm butcheredchildren, this has been known for a while lol" I was talking about Sriracha...you know, due to one of his alts being FrankRedHot?
Eclecticist 12.07.12	ah
Deviant. 12.07.12	Gonna have to feature this bad boy
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	ahaha
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	yeah darth that's a great one "just had some mtn dew" or w/r
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	"it's gold jerry, GOLD" http://moaropeth.tumblr.com/search/hawks
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	i remember i made my soundoff for that...without any intention of what eventually happened in that thread
henryChinaski 12.07.12	Who the fuck is Hawks?
taylormemer 12.07.12	Can't get enough Hawks status updates.
ShadowRemains 12.07.12	nah i wasn't
Irving 12.07.12	Who featured this?
Deviant. 12.07.12	I did
fireandblood 12.07.12	Holy shit this just added a whole new bizarre dimensions to my understanding of Hawks. I can now imagine that all the angst he vents listening to COF was originally intended for stupid hoes, which is weird, to say the least.
evilford 12.07.12	best feature ever and I'm not just brown nosing dev
Irving 12.07.12	But why, Deviant? Seems like quite the opposite thing to do after all the discussions of cleaning up the site that's taken place in the Staff forums lol.
BallsToTheWall 12.07.12	Lol. Is this recent? Hawks is still around? Havent heard/seen the guy in probaly a year.
evilford 12.07.12	he's popped up a few times, doesn't seem like he hangs around much though
NagasakiBomber 12.07.12	oh my god this is absolutely amazing.
SCREAM! 12.07.12	Deviant for supermod
Thane 12.07.12	Can't get enough Hawks status updates. [2] http://moaropeth.tumblr.com/image/15683908549
Wolfhorde 12.07.12	LIST=DIGS
Keyblade 12.07.12	while these statuses are hilarious, hawks is a cool dude and doesn't deserve this.
Wolfhorde 12.07.12	He can handle it. Or should be able to do so. Also, if you don't want people to make fun of the ridiculous shit you say: say less ridiculous shit.
jdennis31 12.07.12	"Obama's ratings are down cause he didn't include pimpin and hoein in stimulus package. Good hoes would boost male moral and fix the recession"
SCREAM! 12.07.12	sup hawx
evilford 12.07.12	hawks rules and yeah says goofy stuff like this. he can handle it.
alachlahol 12.07.12	Keyblade33 12.07.12 [Report this Post] "while these statuses are hilarious, hawks is a cool dude and doesn't deserve this." Hawks: i fucking hate kids,, keep them quiet before i shoot them bitch and keep my name outta your mouth before i end your lives ha this bitch said she loved this guy and theyve been together 8 HOURS lol smuts these bitches dont know just fuckin others guys thats all you dont really love him ugh fuckin whore bitch gettin pregnant and talkin about it some guys will say anything to get with a slut... by the way i was smokin some sweet cheeba by the pool with my cousin the other day it had my head spinning ill tell ya lol probly got higher than snoops ever been cant wait to smoke some more got a mason jar of it at home and agallochs coming out with a new album time to get blazed hawks is a good guy and doesnt deserve this^
BallsToTheWall 12.07.12	lol
Keyblade 12.07.12	well damn. is that 1 status?
BallsToTheWall 12.07.12	I wonder what Jon Haughm would think of having a cat like Hawks as a fan of his music.
Keyblade 12.07.12	pretty sure alach is parodying him there, no way that's a real status. fucking hilarious
SCREAM! 12.07.12	My guess is it's a compilation of statuses
HitlerIsPissed 12.07.12	wow, hawks bitches a lot.
Ire 12.07.12	haux
XingKing 12.07.12	8 is priceless
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	oh my God, this got featured hail the mods
HitlerIsPissed 12.07.12	hawk up a loogie.
DotEight 12.07.12	"wow, hawks bitches a lot." Yes, yes he does. Awesome fucking list though.
jdennis31 12.07.12	I've got something in my front pocket for you. Why don't you reach on in my front pocket and see what it is? There, grab onto it - it's just for you. Give it a little squeeze and say, "How do you do?" There's something in my front pocket! There's something in my front pocket!
Sriracha 12.07.12	lol he deleted me on Facebook. not sure if it was random or if he knew it was me, but this means someone else must take up the reins for Volume II
jdennis31 12.07.12	who is it?
HitlerIsPissed 12.07.12	we need to get a mole in there and extract information.
Ignimbrite 12.07.12	@Sonic...
foxblood 12.08.12	the man is a champion
Baphomet 12.08.12	I'm so glad I'm (by far) not the only one baffled by his statuses.
ShadowRemains 12.08.12	holy shit is that baphomet?
HitlerIsPissed 12.08.12	no
ShadowRemains 12.08.12	my eyes deceive me then
someguest 12.08.12	I didn't know Hawks was black.
Keyblade 12.08.12	^ LOL he sounds so different on fb than he does on sput
Deviant. 12.08.12	I'm from the streets, I gots to be able to cross the streets
Ignimbrite 12.08.12	guess who's back back again hawks is back list is digs
GnarlyShillelagh 12.10.12	link to his ama?
ZilbelPing 12.10.12	"guess who's back back again hawks is back list is digs" one of the best flagplz posts
ViperAces 12.10.12	damn hawks refused to my friend request
Spec 05.08.13	shut them up before i shoot them
kris. 05.08.13	how the shit did i miss this omg
Spec 05.08.13	Any updates?
kitsch 05.08.13	what is hawks name ill try to add him on fb
Motiv3 05.08.13	ROFL this list is legendary.
DrHouseSchuldiner 05.08.13	lol
Yazz_Flute 05.08.13	Bless Ryan Pecoraro.
Spec 05.08.13	i hate old people like seriously stop being so old
DotEight 05.08.13	Wow bringing the old school back. I'm 24, is that old?
Spec 05.08.13	I'm jk. Don't kill yourself.
DotEight 05.08.13	I've had a decent life, nothing to complain about.
Spec 05.08.13	cradle of luv
Eclecticist 05.08.13	"http://moaropeth.tumblr.com/image/15683908549" ugh I remember that post
Yazz_Flute 05.08.13	I forgot about that post, still amazing.
ZilbelPing 05.08.13	Yeah me too. I found it pretty lol worthy, though
Jesuslaves 05.08.13	wow, i remember hawks being a decent guy...but those statuses are ridiculous. except 8, 8's right on the money. dude's got some demons it would appear
DotEight 05.08.13	What are you talking about, Hawks could be John Wayne-Gacy. He's still the shit.
Eclecticist 05.08.13	idk where this outlook of fb not being a serious thing came from but I hadn't met anyone who used it to mess with people until I started adding some users from sputnik. Not that I really care, do with it as you please. But the majority of people I know take it seriously because fb can be really awesome when used purposefully.
Jesuslaves 05.08.13	posting shit like that under your real name on the most popular social networking site in the world is pretty retarded.
Eclecticist 05.08.13	"it should depend on who you're talking to and what about that determines the level of seriousness." you sound like a lawyer
DotEight 05.08.13	People are taking this seriously? Are you kidding me? I guess everything has to be PC these days.
kitsch 05.08.13	but I hadn't met anyone who used it to mess with people until I started adding some users from sputnik. Lol yeah Altho i have a couple friends that would take the piss real hard on fb and then wonder why everyone would act weird around them when they ran into ppl in public
NapalmCrusader 05.08.13	Lol, I thought this were the facebook status of skele, progmaster, vermicide and people like that
amemento 05.08.13	lol hawks is being srs tho
Eclecticist 05.08.13	yea what makes what hawks says painful is the fact that he isn't kidding most of the time
NapalmCrusader 05.08.13	Well, I´m a newer user so this is the first time I hear about hawks. But seriously, I´m sure there are no worst users than skele or verm
amemento 05.08.13	all of them are true but the fact that he feels the need to state the obvious in the manner that he does is fucking stupid
amemento 05.08.13	except for the one about shooting kids that isnt true and obvious
ZilbelPing 05.08.13	"some of these statuses are hilariously true even if worded harshly" well yeah
DotEight 05.08.13	It's sputnik, Facebook can't even compete in terms of our sheer intellect.
NapalmCrusader 05.08.13	Well, skele had some of fixiation with some users and vermicide is a homophobic nazi who usually wrote lists about shit like killing scene kids, chavs, swagfags and communist
amemento 05.08.13	yeah but skele is autistic and vermicide idk bout whereas hawks is completely sane hes just a whiteboy looking for love
DotEight 05.08.13	No kidding and massochistic.
NapalmCrusader 05.08.13	I thought that but skele loves demi lovato and bvb. Insted, vermicide hates them and smiliar artists with burning passion ,he is like the kids you can found in ultimate guitar
DotEight 05.08.13	Ultimate Guitar rofl.
NapalmCrusader 05.08.13	Maybe, Idk. I don´t know if skele is an homphobic chav hater, skele is just a kid with aspergger. Vermicide instead is a fascist who can´t tolerate others opinions
Jesuslaves 05.08.13	lol oh man. someone please link me to a vermicide list
NapalmCrusader 05.08.13	http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=839693&listid=116609 This guy has some good taste but his comments are smoe sort of hybrid between stupid shit and sacry shit
amemento 05.08.13	he only seems memorable to the 2012 and onwards users so idk
NapalmCrusader 05.08.13	You're lucky. He is infamous like Michael Jordan or Progmaster
SeaAnemone 05.08.13	have you all even read the sputnik bylaws?
amemento 05.08.13	mj is god
Eclecticist 05.09.13	ugh vermicide
Vakarian12 05.09.13	"These fat bitches need to keep my name outta their mouths before I end their lives." hahahahaha
Scoot 05.09.13	ahhhhhhhh this list
kitsch 05.09.13	Great post sea
Aids 05.09.13	itt Eclecticist basks in the glory of his username no longer being ButcheredChildren
alachlahol 05.09.13	"it's fucking facebook. some people just don't care and like to screw with others on it." hawks doesnt screw with people and definitely cares so this statement doesnt apply
Keyblade 05.09.13	"itt Eclecticist basks in the glory of his username no longer being ButcheredChildren" i lold
ZilbelPing 05.09.13	shoulda stuck with it. ButcheredChildren + dat profile pic was m/
BigPleb 05.08.14	bump
Pheromone 05.08.14	nice bump
Insurrection 05.08.14	lmao 10 i forgot about this
Motiv3 05.08.14	Laughed so hard re-reading this.
Hyperion1001 05.08.14	i miss hawks :(
MO 05.08.14	yea
demigod! 05.08.14	lol this is dark
Jesuslaves 05.08.14	Why would you even add random people from sputnik to your facebook page? I think it would be best to keep those two worlds separate unless you're like legitimate BFFs with someone here.
BlacKapes 05.08.14	why the fuck is this featured
Jesuslaves 05.08.14	Hi Hawks lol see what i did there guys
climactic 05.08.14	oh fuck yesssssssssssss
silentstar 05.08.14	https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/t1.0-9/1016737_10200211721523134_674263660_n.jpg
Trebor. 05.08.14	I miss Hawks
Keyblade 05.08.14	10 always kills me
Trebor. 05.08.14	Hawks should be in Odd Future
botb 05.08.14	10 is 5/5
Satellite 05.08.14	so much anger in this lil guy
Spec 06.29.14	Came back here for nostalgia.
climactic 06.29.14	probably the best list ever posted
climactic 06.29.14	1 and 7 are goat
anarchistfish 06.29.14	7 and 10
BigPleb 06.29.14	cornerstone list.
Hawks 06.29.14	Lmao this is great. Haven't been on Facebook in so long.
Spec 06.29.14	Please go back on and add me.
Hawks 06.29.14	Facebook isn't my thing anymore my man. :p
Deviant. 06.30.14	Do you just stand on street corners and verbally abuse people instead now?
Deviant. 06.30.14	"These fat bitches need to keep my name outta their mouths before I end their lives." Still need to get this printed on a t-shirt. Actually a wife beater would probably be more appropriate
Trebor. 06.30.14	"Hawks should be in Odd Future" I love when old posts I've made crack me up
TalonsOfFire 07.04.14	1 2 and 7
ShadowRemains 09.23.14	bump because it needed to happen
NecroticaLives 09.23.14	best list
Tyler. 09.23.14	Lol
R6Rider 09.23.14	oh shadow
BMDrummer 09.23.14	haven't seen Hawks lately
ShadowRemains 09.23.14	legendary lolz itt
Insurrection 09.23.14	best list ever
danielito19 09.23.14	best list ever, indeed
InbredJed 09.23.14	The legend of hawks
omnipanzer 09.23.14	Mmmm Sriracha
danielito19 09.23.14	ever put sriracha in tuna mac n cheese?
Lethean 09.23.14	10 lol
BallsToTheWall 09.23.14	You're my boy Hawks. #hawksrawks
FuneralMarch 09.23.14	Is Hawks black?
omnipanzer 09.23.14	Ohh Busted! I'm being disingenuous, I don't like Sriracha.
BallsToTheWall 09.23.14	He's Jewish African American yes. Surprisingly he has red hair.
danielito19 09.23.14	\|:^(
ShadowRemains 09.23.14	"I love when I see these stupid ass high school smuts congratulating each other on being pregnant. You're like 15 bitch why are you so excited that you're a hoe? Lol" my sides...they are splitting like a fault
TalonsOfFire 09.23.14	Is he not on fb anymore?
Supercoolguy64 09.23.14	lol these statuses sounds like a reddit thread or something
SharkTooth 09.23.14
SharkTooth 09.23.14	"Lmao this is great. Haven't been on Facebook in so long." "Facebook isn't my thing anymore my man. :p" @TalonsofFire you make your own conclusions from these comments
Wolfhorde 09.23.14	"He's Jewish African American yes. Surprisingly he has red hair." Sounds amusing.
omnipanzer 09.23.14	Jewfricarican?
Wolfhorde 09.23.14	He's black with blue eyes and a red jewfro.
omnipanzer 09.23.14	He's confused, and an outcast. No wonder he's so mad.
toomanyxsinmyname 09.23.14	r/hawks list wins
Wolfhorde 09.23.14	Of course, he lives in a perpetual flux of cultural schizophrenia.
TheSpirit 09.23.14	Lollllllllk
deathschool 09.23.14	Sounds like a great guy.
climactic 11.21.14	the best
YakNips 11.21.14	holy shit
deathschool 11.21.14	These are still amazing. They actually get progressively funnier, and build into ridiculous so quick. They really are genius.
TalonsOfFire 11.21.14	One of my favorite sput lists
adr 11.21.14	classic list yeah
KrazyKris 11.21.14	~These are still amazing. They actually get progressively funnier, and build into ridiculous so quick. They really are genius.~ Yeah. Maybe it was just some kind of socio-critical art project, but no one realized it. Or he's just pathetic.
DominionMM1 11.21.14	hawks be da hardest g eva
Ignimbrite 11.21.14	I almost feel bad about posting this almost
Oceanspellcaster 11.21.14	Hawks is aids
apert 11.21.14	Lol classic list
ShadowRemains 11.21.14	no aids is aids get it right
Spec 11.21.14	Love that this creeps up back onto the front page every six months.
Aftertheascension 11.21.14	best list ever created
ShadowRemains 01.17.15	never fails to make me crack
Inveigh 01.17.15	there are a few sputnik lists/moments every year that transcend time/era, and this is one of them
ShadowRemains 01.17.15	another one is recspecs' 4 way thread with 3 dudes
Jots 02.29.16	w(☆o◎)w
torts 02.29.16	classic
JWT155 02.29.16	How have I never seen this
wtferrothorn 02.29.16	never seen this before lol
Ovrot 02.29.16	RIP Hawks
Spacesh1p 02.29.16	never seen this before lol [2]
anarchistfish 02.29.16	thank you for bumping this classic
anarchistfish 02.29.16	1,2,7 >
emester 02.29.16	Dunno why I haven't asked this yet but please tell me that these nuggets of gold are archived somewhere
zaruyache 02.29.16	Omg what am i even reading. Dang Hawks angsts hard M/
Deathconscious 02.29.16	lol i remember this. classic thread.
romulanrancor 02.29.16	9 and 10 hahaha
DoofusWainwright 02.29.16	Move over the 10 Commandments this here are ten real lessons to live by
PappyMason 02.29.16	Lol, these are legendary
dcalderon 02.29.16	I wonder if he's still a virgin.
brainmelter 02.29.16	So what's his facebook
evilford 02.29.16	" These fat bitches need to keep my name outta their mouths before I end their lives." omg I am crying
MistaCrave 02.29.16	I found Hawks on FB and finally saw what he looks like and holy fuck he looks the polar opposite of how I expected him to
Spacesh1p 02.29.16	"Some of these hoes throw the "love" word around way too much. Bitch you've known that dude for like two weeks you need to save that shit." "Save That Shit" - Chief Keef ft. Hawks
forkliftjones 02.29.16	2 lol
emester 02.29.16	I remember breaking down in the middle of physics class last year after reading 7. Fell out of my goddamn chair onto my hip. Shit hurt like hell. Still worth it tho
evilford 02.29.16	wow this made my day
romulanrancor 02.29.16	yeah 7 is fucking great haha
SCREAM! 02.29.16	Good on hawks for taking this in stride and keeping on m/ing here Pretty weird seeing so many people discovering this for the first time
TalonsOfFire 02.29.16	I don't think he's been active in years
MistaCrave 02.29.16	"Some of these females out here are straight up ratchets 😂"
evilford 02.29.16	yeah hawks is cool, these were obviously the young and angry days
Alastor 02.29.16	list needs an update with hammer of the witches
ScuroFantasma 02.29.16	Gold
JWT155 02.29.16	Hawks has been on in the last few weeks.
MistaCrave 02.29.16	I'm so confused because he just said that Facebook isn't his thing anymore but he's posted like twelve things in the past 24 hours
TalonsOfFire 02.29.16	We all have our young and angry days
MistaCrave 02.29.16	maybe
Kusangii 02.29.16	Holy hell, classic stuff right here
Ryus 02.29.16	i love hawks
Mystletainn 02.29.16	I've posted some stupid shit back in my days but god damn ahaha The fact every album is CoF is like the cherry on top of the cake.
Spec 03.01.16	Props for the bump. God I love Hawks.
Relinquished 03.01.16	lol this was featured
hal1ax 03.01.16	10 made me laugh so hard
Keyblade 03.01.16	classic 10 is just the best
Nocturnalize 03.01.16	misogyny 101 ft. user hawks "I found Hawks on FB and finally saw what he looks like and holy fuck he looks the polar opposite of how I expected him to" so he's not some neck beard fgt?
romulanrancor 03.01.16	"The fact every album is CoF is like the cherry on top of the cake." sooo true haha
hal1ax 03.01.16	take it ez chief
ShadowRemains 03.01.16	i can totally see louis c.k. doing a rant with some of these
doomjitsu 03.01.16	i always knew that hawks is a great dude
SCREAM! 03.01.16	Lol @ noct calling someone a neckbeard fgt and totally missing the irony there
Hawks 03.01.16	Hahahahaha this is classic. Nocturnalize you have some nerve there buddy.
DoofusWainwright 03.01.16	Hawks you have the floor Educate us
JWT155 03.01.16	The Yinzer is strong in Hawks
Hawks 03.01.16	You have all the education you need right here..... But yeah I've been on Facebook a lot more recently than I have since the days of this list really. I get bored at work hahaha.
JWT155 03.01.16	I uh.... waste my time here on the job
Maniac! 03.01.16	Oh god I remember this
Calc 03.01.16	these are awesome.
HawksIsNotAFag 03.01.16	What a list
JWT155 03.01.16	What an alt
HawksIsNotAFag 03.01.16	since 2010 a sputnik original
Spec 03.01.16	you again
Hawks 03.01.16	Omg bringing back the glory days.
SCREAM! 03.01.16	all these new users about to discover a whole nother side of sput they never knew existed
emester 03.01.16	Agree with 1 Old people smell weird. As a result, pancake houses are a no go zone for me
Snake. 03.01.16	wait are these actually real
SCREAM! 03.01.16	is anything real
Snake. 03.01.16	hawks seemed like such a chill guy what
emester 03.01.16	This list gives me motivation to give CoF another chance maybe that is the true essence of these posts
MyNameIsPencil 03.01.16	it really is christmas time, emester
Mystletainn 03.01.16	Noc thinks all people who listen to metal are neckbeards though.
hal1ax 03.01.16	as he chugs monster energy drinks while listening to job for a cowboy
MistaCrave 03.01.16	Just now did I realize that this thread is three years old
Ignimbrite 03.02.16	"hawks seemed like such a chill guy what" yo this is old as fuck, he's a great dude who used to post odd facebook statuses
RosaParks 03.02.16	If you're a dumb bitch and you "love" a different guy every day and posts it all over facebook please do us all a favor...fucking killl yourself, you're annoying as shit.
Ashen 03.02.16	fuck all of u, this is legendary
hal1ax 03.02.16	hawks is the man
MistaCrave 03.02.16	He is. And he still posts super regularly on Facebook. Like, he's posted 5 memes in the past hour
Ashen 03.02.16	why the hell do you care is the question
EyesWideShut 03.02.16	Hawks the realest.
MistaCrave 03.02.16	It's just funny to me how different he is on here compared to how he is on Facebook
EyesWideShut 03.02.16	right haha.. laid back dude here, straight goon on facebook
MistaCrave 03.02.16	Also, his frequent use of emojis is questionable
voltairesangryglove 03.02.16	guys leave ryan peckerwood alone
Vetimus 03.04.16	I have a feeling hes pissed about a girl?
Ignimbrite 03.04.16	I'm pretty sure that this list is the only truly great thing I ever accomplished on this website. Probably gonna put this on my resume. "I once made a shitpost-y list with over 350 comments on a music site." Fucking hired.
Trebor. 03.04.16	I'd hire you
Vetimus 03.05.16	Whats his facebook? I wana see a picture of him, none of the links gave me a picture.
Spec 08.04.16	can we get a pt 2 or
Sevengill 08.04.16	is it Dig Up Old Lists Day or something? I forgot my Sputnik Holidays calendar.
Spec 08.04.16	yes
Conmaniac 08.04.16	im learning a lot wow
miketunneyiscool123 08.04.16	Hawks for president. KILL for vice or vice-versa.
SCREAM! 08.04.16	I'm actually amazed this has survived this long without being deleted
Mystletainn 08.04.16	Legendary
zaruyache 12.12.16	LEGEN
zaruyache 12.12.16	-DARY
romulanrancor 12.12.16	hahah this is still the best
Pon 12.12.16	will never stop being funny
Ovrot 12.12.16	rip hawks
FullOfSounds 12.12.16	ahahaha
Deathconscious 12.12.16	Oh sputnik.
climactic 12.12.16	shut the little fuckers up before I shoot them
Deathconscious 12.12.16	These fat bitches need to keep my name outta their mouths before I end their lives. one of my favorites.
Nazzadan 12.12.16	I might post that on my facebook just for giggles
Deathconscious 12.12.16	who broke your heart, hawks?
altertide0 12.12.16	who broke his head
neekafat 12.12.16	This list is art
50iL 12.12.16	[2] Beautiful work.
hal1ax 12.12.16	Legendary [19]
Artuma 03.23.17	still gold
unclereich 03.23.17	dryden>
mifzal 03.23.17	I'm sure that's me
Dewinged 03.23.17	You could have bumped this yesterday so I had a chance of winning dammit.
Artuma 03.23.17	"dryden>" that dude made me seriously vomit with his posts and i don't even consider myself as physically weak or anything
Satellite 03.23.17	vomit from hilarity?
Artuma 03.23.17	occasionally. mostly from disgust. i didn't know the guy for a long time though
Satellite 03.23.17	"guess who's back back again hawks is back list is digs" GOAT comment
Deathconscious 03.23.17	I always saw dryden as a fat neckbeard.
Satellite 03.23.17	dryden transcended physical form
Pon 03.23.17	"You're like 15 bitch why are you so excited that you're a hoe? Lol" every fucking time
FullOfSounds 03.23.17	"At least I'm working and making my own money unlike you, you fat worthless piece of shit." lmfao
EphemeralEternity 03.23.17	ngl i hate fuckers who rant on facebook almost as much as the people they're ranting about
zaruyache 03.23.17	hawks gets a pass tho
elliootsmeuth 03.23.17	I love that half a decade later, this still gets bumped
Deathconscious 03.23.17	I still read all of his posts every time this comes up again.
EphemeralEternity 03.23.17	strange that he would vent all his anger on fb whereas on an anonymous website he's always (Afaik) chill as fuck
Sevengill 03.23.17	The "fat bitches" one and the albums in the list make me thing of Channing's William Control review, which makes me laugh. "Female vocals in the chorus, maybe it’s that fat chick from Cradle of Filth."
WatchItExplode 03.23.17	Hawks has given so much to sput
danielito19 03.23.17	I love when this list gets bumped
EphemeralEternity 03.23.17	reminds me of when facebook statuses were a thing
UndineParty 03.23.17	Hawks is chill... too chill, suspicious if you ask me Except when nocturtle comes around lol
EphemeralEternity 03.23.17	it's very suspicious yeah i feel like he takes out his anger on the schoolgirls he has locked up in his dungeon.
Dedes 03.26.17	These are hilarious but like what female damaged poor hawks lol
Deathconscious 03.26.17	I dont think he used to be as chill. Maybe im remembering wrong though.
SitruK6 03.26.17	How have i not seen this before 😂
Spec 03.26.17	He quit the site once so I dunno. He's always been dope as hell with me.
Deathconscious 03.26.17	Same, but i think i remember him getting riled up now and then years ago.
EphemeralEternity 03.26.17	well if the above facebook posts are anything to go by your probably right
MistaCrave 03.26.17	He still will occasionally post something angry, but most of his posts nowadays are shitty memes
50iL 03.26.17	Best list
Ryus 06.22.17	B V M P
Conmaniac 06.22.17	nice lil bump. 7 cracks me up
SCREAM! 06.22.17	if I ever need to demonstrate to my kids how whatever you post online never really goes away Imma use this list
dbizzles 06.22.17	'These fat bitches need to keep my name outta their mouths before I end their lives.' Fucking GOAT.
DinosaurJones 06.22.17	Classic. Make sure you save that shit.
Deathconscious 06.22.17	i read them all every time this gets bumped. hawks never dies.
Insurrection 06.22.17	10 is still classic
Deathconscious 06.22.17	i want more.
Clegane 06.22.17	"if I ever need to demonstrate to my kids how whatever you post online never really goes away Imma use this list" i use this list to justify hitting my kids
Relinquished 06.22.17	shut up sint
Nazzadan 06.22.17	I'm partial to 10
Ryus 06.22.17	1 is particularly vicious
SCREAM! 06.22.17	8-10 tho
SpiritCrusher2 06.22.17	before I END THEIR LIVES
ScuroFantasma 06.22.17	10 is tops
EyesWideShut 06.23.17	I love my mon Hawks.. dude is a goon irl.
ShadowRemains 09.05.17	oh man blast from necessary past
SitruK6 09.05.17	8 is probably my favorite
Spacesh1p 09.05.17	Classic thread.
Drifter 09.05.17	I like 7
hal1ax 09.05.17	10 makes me crack up every time.
Satellite 09.05.17	7 will always be my alltime fave
foxblood 09.12.17	10 just made me lol again
Drifter 09.12.17	7 and 10 are perfect lmao
danielito19 09.12.17	theyre all perfect
Ovrot 11.21.17	classic list
foxblood 11.21.17	always a great bump
Keyblade 11.21.17	man number 10 never gets old
Deathconscious 11.21.17	wish i could see the replies to these as well.
neekafat 11.21.17	This is even funnier now that I know who Hawks actually is
EyesWideShut 11.21.17	This Sriracha guy made this list and disappeared lmao
Keyblade 11.21.17	he was an alt lol
Deathconscious 11.21.17	Come to think of it, i never looked at the name. Just saw what looked like a bottle of hot sauce and assumed it was frankredhot, AKA pit i believe.
DarkTyler 11.21.17	Painfully unfunny list
Deathconscious 11.21.17	"Man this Yoohoo is good. You know what else is good? Smoking dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know? Puffing the cheeba. Go by the see-saw smoke a J. You know what I'm talking about?" My sides
Hawks 11.21.17	Hahahahahaha this list is classic. 19-20 year old me was very hateful apparently.
Artuma 11.21.17	this is still the most entertaining list of all time thanks hawks
Hawks 11.21.17	Hey my pleasure.
Drifter 11.21.17	this is still the most entertaining list of all time [2] 7 and 10 always have me dead
mifzal 11.21.17	Someone gotta rank the BM fan girls of sputnik
Deathconscious 11.21.17	well there would need to be girls here in the first place to do that.
XingKing 11.21.17	A+ list
dbizzles 01.30.18	riffs arhd
Deathconscious 01.30.18	what the fuck, i thought this list got deleted, it just disappeared.
dbizzles 01.30.18	The hands of gods are all around us.
foxblood 01.30.18	sput greatest hits
hal1ax 01.30.18	yea i thought it was deleted too.. weird
Satellite 01.30.18	the new site faq should just be a link to this list
neekafat 01.30.18	One of the best lists
CaimanJesus 01.30.18	High quality bump
tastepolice 01.30.18	so hawks is a 14 year old girl? fits the target demographic of cradle of filth I guess
Feather 01.30.18	christ, the fact that Hawks was commenting and acknowledging this list last year is absurd
Dinosaur 01.30.18	Classic
Sriracha 01.30.18	whew thought this was deleted for a minute there
EyesWideShut 04.07.20	The Legend
dbizzles 04.07.20	That last one is such a classic.
ResidentNihilist 04.07.20	be glad this list wasn't made six years later, his head would be on the chopping block
Thalassic 04.07.20	This right here is the stuff of legends
WatchItExplode 04.07.20	evergreen list
Satellite 04.07.20	this should be permanently pinned to the main page
Pon 08.21.21	Classic

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