|Cut The Racket|
Or an alternate take on rock'n'roll history.
|1||Ludwig Van Beethoven|
Late String Quartets
It is only logical to start our history of rock'n'roll with the first musician ever.
12 Etudes, Op. 10
A once prominent pianist who fell out of grace with the public after Lester Bangs
called him a "faggot." Also the inventor of sadness.
Though often accused of ripping off Manowar, Richard Wagner's operas were
seminal in the development of heavy metal.
|4|| ||Igor Stravinsky|
The Rite Of Spring
Often credited as the first musician to experiment with drugs.
The Best Of Leadbelly
Upon coming to the realization that he would not be able to come up with the
money to hire an orchestra, Leadbelly grabbed a guitar and invented the blues.
This Land Is Your Land
After the tragic death of his friend Ernest Hemingway, Guthrie took up the guitar as
a sign of mourning.
The Howlin' Wolf Album
Keith Richards purportedly said after watching Howlin Wolf perform for the first
time; "that is one pissed-off motherfucker."
Bird And Diz
A big pal of Stravinsky's, Parker decided that the whole singing trend had "gotten
The last jazz recording before the genre mysteriously disappeared.
A landmark album originally released as a propaganda item for the Korean War.
The Original Sun Sound Of Johnny Cash
Cash rose to fame with the now infamous slogan, "white people have problems too."
Legendary singer in possession of three testicles.
The first pop record ever.
|15||The Velvet Underground|
The Velvet Underground & Nico
A concept record about transsexual prostitutes.
In The Court Of The Crimson King
After yelling the phrase "you're fucking boring," at a Rolling Stones concert he
attended, Robert Fripp recorded this album with the help of some street bums.
Trout Mask Replica
After his successful Martian expedition, Neil Armstrong (R.I.P.) came back with a
recording of their messages to humanity. We have yet to decipher it.
A field recording of an elephant giving birth and subsequently taking a massive shit.
A dangerous gang of rapists and LSD addicts decides to record a folk album.
Being largely inactive since Wagner, Germans decided to get back into "that whole
|22|| ||David Bowie|
The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars
The first autobiography in rock and roll form.
|23|| ||Pink Floyd|
Dark Side of The Moon
A frightful retelling of a bad peyote trip accompanied by sophisticated guitar solos.
A recording of the infamous "Woodstock" festival.
After which the French were officially banned from participating in any form of
After creating the first computer, the members of Kraftwerk set to making funny
noises with it.
And then their neighbors stole the idea.
Metal Machine Music
A recording notorious for being overplayed at weddings, bar-mitzvahs and rehab
Americans who somehow knew how to spell the word "Rumours," as well as how to
write some swell tunes.
Upon discovering that music could be played fast, Motörhead dedicated the entirety
of their career to the gimmick.
Taking Motörhead's revolutionary idea of playing fast to new extremes, Wire
effectively created punk rock.
Ambient 1: Music For Airports
When people became tired of actually having to pay attention to music.
The first band to ignore Lester Bangs and take up on Chopin's idea that music could
Essentially an album of vegetarian Wire covers.
A bunch of people hitting a bunch of shit.
After which it was agreed that this "punk" thing had gone far enough.
Kill Em All
The result of giving hillbillies electricity.
The first musicians who ever read a book, mainly due to the fact that they lived in
boring-ass Switzerland. And even then it was just Crowley.
Meat Puppets II
Recordings of cow herding in the 19th century, found and subsequently by the
Hounds Of Love
After women were allowed access to recording equipment in the 1980's it was
discovered that they actually had some cool ideas.
Hobos are people too.
Come On Pilgrim
Probably the most popular band ever until their singer tragically shot himself at the
peak of his career after struggling with fame and a crippling heroin addiction for
|44||Dead Can Dance|
The Serpent's Egg
Contemporary re-recordings of ancient Egyptian music.
The album that introduced the world to the idea that burping over rock music was
40 minutes of the band attempting to tune their instruments.
Under A Funeral Moon
Upon being asked what it was like to live in Scandinavia, Fenriz recorded this album.
Stream From The Heavens
Contrary to popular belief, this is the only band Chthulu ever played in before
becoming a family man.
Slanted & Enchanted
Stephen Malkmus pioneered the idea of writing music without ever actually leaving
A compilation featuring the most popular lullabies of the 20th century.
Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
A spoken word recording in opposition to Ronald Reagan's presidency.
|52||Guided By Voices|
Stephen Malkmus changed his name and got a distortion pedal.
In a desperate attempt to get some quiet time with his S&M porn collection,
Merzbow attempted to make the album that would end all music.
Caravans To Empire Algol
After he finished recording Under A Funeral Moon, Fenriz realized he was tired, and
recorded this in order to chill out some.
Because no one ever really got over Dark Side Of The Moon.
The album that inspired Hitler's "Mein Kampf."
|57||Neutral Milk Hotel|
In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
A bolivian chanteuse trying her best to read surrealist poetry while some asshole
plays a french horn in her ear.
Following The Voice Of Blood
The album that established Nazism definitively as rock's ideological voice.
Ecstasy was the only drug with no music to accompany it, a problem that this
album promptly solved.
Vision Creation Newsun
Talk Talk's Laughing Stock being played backwards and at double speed.
|61|| ||Current 93|
I Have A Special Plan
A recording of David Tibet's talking to his first date.
The album that made the world realize Iceland was a real country.
This album is to Advil what Zauberberg was to ecstasy.
Choirs Of The Eye
Toby Driver attempted to compile everything that had come before him into one
record so that no one would have to listen to anything else ever again.
Kalk Samen Kuri No Hana
An album so good that no music was ever made again after its release.