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Flotation Toy Warning

First reported sightings of flotation toy warning began towards the later days of the 1760's, as sailors exploring the more westerly edges of the north polar regions made inroads further toward the centre of the subcontinent. Rough sketches appeared in national newspapers, along with a wide range of other fascinating curiosities and strange beasts. But it was not until a full 53 years later that the first photographic 'proof' of their existence was to surface. A blurred print of five (or possibly six) figures crossing what appears to be an area of desert scrub was one of several images offered ...read more

First reported sightings of flotation toy warning began towards the later days of the 1760's, as sailors exploring the more westerly edges of the north polar regions made inroads further toward the centre of the subcontinent. Rough sketches appeared in national newspapers, along with a wide range of other fascinating curiosities and strange beasts. But it was not until a full 53 years later that the first photographic 'proof' of their existence was to surface. A blurred print of five (or possibly six) figures crossing what appears to be an area of desert scrub was one of several images offered for sale to The British Museum in September 1820. A Mr. Klondike Vasius, who had allegedly taken the photographs during an expedition along the banks of the river Thea, claimed to be in possession of a number of stills that would put the question of flotation toy warning's existence beyond all doubt. These images were later rejected by many as a hoax, although Vasius continued to insist on their authenticity until his untimely death at the hands of Persian bandits in 1852. Just two years later saw the emergence of a manuscript amongst a series of letters found in a wine cellar in Bristol as it was being cleared for demolition. The documents, apparently some form of self created musical notation for a classical piece to be played by an unheard of instrument, simply referred to as a 'aerophone', have never been successfully translated. Interest in the case waned and flotation toy warning dropped out of the public consciousness for a number of years. However, the beginning of a new century saw the story grab the headlines again, as a Mr. Donald Drusky, reputedly an artist and troubadour from Philadelphia claimed that he was one of the figures in the Vasius stills from 1820. Drusky claimed that flotation toy warning was an experimental project and an ongoing concern, unlikely to see the light of day until the very end of the century. Revered by some academics as the inventor of a new kind of musical style, he was generally dismissed as an attention-seeking eccentric and a crank. Drusky said that the project was a means of documenting human feelings to a degree of realism not previously possible, set to a soundtrack created from previously unknown instruments. The last official documentation of Drusky was that of medical records detailing his admission to a mental asylum after a breakdown, apparently triggered by experiencing the horrors of trench warfare in the Somme. It was suggested that he was not working alone on the project, and several people came forward in 1938, suggesting they had been witness to some form of live music experiment in a Paris factory. Accounts of the events varied wildly, but several different suggested versions of events mentioned a combination of music and film presented by four individuals, one of them apparently using the name 'Don LeCannes'. No further record of either the 'Paris four' or Donald Drusky was uncovered, but Professor Nathanial Worminster, a Musicologist based in Sydney, Australia published a paper in 1995 speculating that the five piece would emerge again in the next ten years, citing the 1901 claims of Drusky that the project would bear fruition in the latter days of the 20th century. Disappointment followed as hopes of a re-emergence of Drusky and his companions failed to materialize before 2000. But then, to the surprise of the academic world, the release of a CD containing at least ten pieces of work was announced in the summer of 2005. The tracks are to be released on Misra Records on the 16th of August, to be followed by a series of live 'events'. Misra were apparently contacted by an anonymous caller who forwarded a series of recordings on wax rolls and warned them to expect flotation toy warning, whomever or whatever they are, to emerge from hiding later in the year.

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Bluffer's Guide to the Flight Deck
2004

3.8
18 Votes

Contributors: Ponton, HipFish,

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