Review Summary: Dear Emma Watson...
I did some YouTube surfing (for the first time this week, in fact) just a few days ago. Guess which music video I found? Hint: it's by English alternative rock/pop punk band One Night Only. Yup it's
that video - the one with you in it (I knew you'd guess!). Now, I'm not sure if you're aware, but the video actually has over 3.2 million views on YouTube at the moment, which is honestly quite an achievement. Truth be told though, I honestly think that "Say You Don't Want It" is probably only making its rounds on the internet because you're featured in it.
For you see, I'm not altogether sure if the rest of the album has even been half as popular as the lead single has been (even in your native England). Indeed, updates on One Night Only are hard to come by here in North America. However, one thing I
have heard is the fact that the band recently canceled the planned release of a follow-up single - which to me, only says "unmitigated sales disaster" in bright red neon letters. The opinions of the masses don't matter with me though, for the very instant that George Craig bloke landed his tongue on your cheek in the video and proceeded to lick it (your cheek, not the video), I was on his case; because, you know,
how dare he?!
Anyway, after scrounging around at length for a copy of the album, I finally succeeded, and immediately proceeded to enjoy the fruits of my labour...a process which turned out to be rather unsatisfying, to be honest - but I won't jump the gun just yet. The album starts off on the right foot, with the energetic synths of "Say You Don't Want It" making the whole band sound like they're just about lactating confidence all over their instruments in the background. Second track "Bring Me Back Down" is equally as polished; all things considered, One Night Only's sophomore effort definitely gets off to a very promising start.
Indeed, the five boys from North Yorkshire definitely have what it takes to write good songs. The refrain at the beginning of their more upbeat choruses are usually hugely fun sing-a-longs and Mr. Craig's caterwauling style of dealing with bridges are spot-on most of the time. The album's other pieces of penmanship - although mostly besmirched by some dreadful and truly uninspiring titles ("Anything", "All I Want", and "Feeling Fine" - just to name a few) occasionally manage to eke out remarkably specific feelings of desolation. For example, I keep feeling like I'm looking over a sprawling mass of foggy cast-iron jungle each time I put on "Never Be The Same", and album closer "Can't Stop Now" seems to get a real kick out of sticking all my confused digits into ten inches of freshly fallen, imaginary Canadian snow. To that end, some acclaim is ultimately due, as credit should be given to musicians who manage to present images concretely - even if I suspect that in this case it was likely done by accident.
Unfortunately however, things really start to fall apart at the seams (like a Chris Columbus movie, might I add) by about the sixth song or so. At this point in the album, the realization that the Helmsley lads are actually quite unable to inject any life into their art suddenly smacks the listener full in the face. As it stands, the music is decidedly monochromatic all throughout the album's 43 minutes, with little or no variation in audio design from one track to the next. The resulting collage is as colourful as roll of Reynolds aluminum foil. For the purposes of this review, it would be decidedly convenient to call the whole affair a piece of dry cardboard, but that would just be needlessly insulting to a useful packing material. Ultimately, this is an unmitigated shame, for it relegates what could have been a momentous (or at least reasonably interesting) album to the scrapyard of broken dreams.
Word on the street is that you've got lots on your plate Emma, so I guess I'll stop here. To put it bluntly, I feel like this album is a bit of a mixed bag. It's not altogether bad and it does have its moments, but at the end of the day it will probably only be truly enjoyed by a.) fans of the band and b.) those who found the cover art on U2's latest album to be the most colourful thing ever.
PS - After looking up your musical tastes on a few celebrity gossip websites, I guess you kind of qualify.
Oh, and you were great in the Deathly Hallows.
