Review Summary: Get me some candy! I'm all fucked up, on a sugar rush!
The late 2000s spawned one of the most unashamedly bombastic, and brash musical movements to come out of alternative culture in the form of “Crunkcore.” The pillars of creation for this new wave of over the top electronic music were Blood on the Dance Floor, brokeNCYDE, Jeffree Star, and Dot Dot Curve; naturally, as with every genre, a few smaller acts would try to ride the wave of success of the titans of Crunkcore. Scene Kidz was one of those offshoots. Even among other Crunkcore artists; their poorly produced, mind-numbingly repetitive music sounds about as sterile as a 90-year-old man who’s had a bowling ball rolled into his crotch every day for the last five decades.
Easily what stands out as the worst here is the abhorrent vocal performance; occasionally switching between male and female vocals, there’s no sense of melody in the slightest, and the frequent rap passages have about as much flow as teenage me when I posted an Eminem cover up on Myspace back in the day. The girl in particular sounds so lethargic in her performance that it’s almost like a parody; her performance in “Millionaires” is just that, a performance. Far and away what stands out here as the worst in the vocal department is the uncleans; which suffer from some of the most blatant overproduction I’ve seen in music, and as a result sounds distorted in a way that’s comparable to Sesame Street trying to teach kids about Harsh Noise. It’s almost completely impossible to tell (but not hard to assume) the level of skill involved in the screaming here. There are a few auto tuned clean passages here and there, but they’re nothing memorable, and are usually associated with any “romantic” songs the band tries to put forward.
The lyricism is possibly the worst offender on this record; with lyrical passages that even Dahvie Vanity would shake his colorful head in morbid disgust at. The themes mostly consist of addressing other people’s apparent jealously, getting high off of candy, shopping for a plethora of alternative accessories, and how many said accessories that the members own. The band only attempts serious tones in their music on the romantic based tracks, and those are overall just boring, forgettable bits of nonsense.
“Every minute, every day, I talk like a black boy.”
- Frosty Like A Snowman
”Take off my shirt, and feel my tits! Timberlake has sucked my dick.”
- Millionaires
At least Jeffree Star, Blood on the Dance Floor and such can claim to have catchy beats with decent production values, but there’s nothing of the sort to be found here. The entirety of this album consists of basic melodies looped over a drum beat that’s so loud in the mix, it can actually drown out the synth and vocals completely at times. There’s actual clipping in the base mix, which not even brokeNCYDE is guilty of, and it actually makes your ears feel like they're being run through a rusty cheese grater throughout the experience. When the drum beats aren't over the top, it's so far back in the mix that you can barely hear it.
Long story short, there’s nothing catchy or redeemable here. This is one of those offshoots that was so unexpectedly terrible that not even taking six shots with a group of friends and jamming this would increase the enjoyment factor. Bar the sheer comedic factor of the lyricism, there's nothing here of redeemable value in this 21 track "effort". This is one of those projects that’s better left condemned to be forgotten by time, and even by scene kids in general.
