Review Summary: Growing up is chaotic
As someone who started paying attention to the pop charts around 2008 or 2009 (thank you, Todd in the Shadows), I’ve become quite fascinated with what’s going on in the current pop landscape. While one could certainly make the argument that the music sounds more homogenous than before, the emotional range of these new artists is anything but monotonous. Think back to Billie Eilish’s 2019 hit “Xanny”, a tragicomic ballad that actively pushed back against the party culture that the late 2000s club fad readily promoted; meanwhile, you have the bittersweet emotional rollercoaster that is Olivia Rodrigo’s
SOUR, which cycles through several different moods and styles to communicate its theme of failed romance. It’s refreshing to hear artists be so open about their struggles and experiences, something I often attribute to the musical shift in the mid-2010s brought on by alterna-pop artists such as Lorde and - as much as I hate to admit it - Halsey. All of this is relevant to the album we’re discussing today,
I Used to Think I Could Fly, as Tate McRae’s debut displays a singer whose heart is on her sleeve. In fact, she went as far as to call her songs her “diary entries” in an interview with
People; much of the lyrical content on the record is of a highly vulnerable nature, often dealing with the conflict of dwelling on the past vs. moving on in regards to a relationship. Of course, as evidenced by tunes such as the bitter “I’m So Gone” and the regretful “Hate Myself”, the McRae definitely gives off “not over it” vibes throughout the whole affair. But that just makes the experience that much more compelling.
On the musical side of things,
I Used to think I Could Fly certainly isn’t the most innovative or groundbreaking pop album out there. However, the variety of styles and tones on offer is quite commendable: much like the aforementioned
SOUR, the record is often just as turbulent musically as it is lyrically. You’ve got your typical pop jams with glossy production and stock beats - the first few songs fit this format pretty snugly - but dig a bit deeper and you’ll find pop punk, soft rock, minimalist piano ballads, and even some 90s alt-rock guitar work hidden about the tracklist. The first song that really hits hard on an emotional level is “Chaotic”, an absolutely beautiful piano-led tune that lets all of McRae’s anxiety and insecurities unravel in front of the listener. The devastating opening line says it all: “I have this paralyzing fear that I’ll maybe go nowhere/but God forbid me ever admitting I could be scared”; as the track builds in dynamics and intensity, so do the singer-songwriter’s mounting fears and demons along with it. “She’s All I Wanna Be” dives even deeper as it explores the realms of toxic jealousy and how we live in a culture of comparing ourselves to others, all set to music that has shades of pop-punk and new wave. Finally, there’s the lovely ballad “Boy X”, which sets airy backing vocals and keyboards over a simple acoustic backing; it’s not the most complex thing in the world, but it’s effective. This is not to say that every tune on the album is especially memorable or interesting; as mentioned earlier, the first few tracks give the false impression that
I Used to Think I Could Fly will just be another generic modern pop album. Additionally, while the revealing nature of the lyrics is refreshing, the relationship-centric subject matter does get a bit old when played out over the course of 13 songs. Luckily, at only 36 minutes, the record doesn’t outstay its welcome; if there’s any big issue with McRae’s first outing, it’s that she hasn’t quite outgrown her influences yet. She still emulates her idols pretty frequently - especially Olivia Rodrigo - and has yet to truly find her own unique identity. However, if
I Used to Think I Could Fly is any indication, she has quite a bright future ahead of her.
