Review Summary: IN CASE OF FIRE USE STAIRS DO NOT USE ELEVATOR
I looked at the band name and said yes, I want to abuse myself. I opened Spotify, clicked on the album, and the self flagellation began. Funnily enough, I enjoyed it. What we have here is a randomized mix of power metal, melo death/black metal, and sometimes even nu-metal. The riffs can sound like Daft Punk’s song about getting lucky, or something off of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, but generally you’re getting a ***load of power metal inspired ***. Also there is a multitude of crudely shoved in black metal shrieks like they threw eggs at their neighbour and ran, and yes, blastbeats. The corny metal mixed with pop tickles the itch to dance and headbang at the same, which may make you look crazy, and the human equivalent of a bee sting, but at least the music is catchy. Keyboards are played wonkily with chiptune, synth overload, and painfully obnoxious accordians. They essentially stole Alestorm’s swag, abusing power metal elements, the difference being the lack of sea shanties here.
To add further confusion and outrage, the singer sounds somewhat similar to the singer from Foster The People, and therefore does not sound cvlt. If your ears aren’t confused when listening to this bull***, you are a better man than I (only joking, I am da bomb bringin’ the spice to yo front lawn - dat sexy ass on da blessed seed grass). The music will make you snap your fingers and your little booty into multiple dimensions of dance. Rather than making you want to shred your ears and make a salad, this album is surprisingly nice to listen to. It’s not bad, it’s quite good, which is more than I can say about a lot of joke metal bands.
Similar to a wank machine, this album gives you the good feels. If you’re the type of person that enjoys silliness and does not automatically hate KILL or pizzamachine reviews for getting absurd, than you may enjoy this music. But considering what a joyless, decrepit world this is, this band will no doubt be forgotten in time. This is why albums like this must be reviewed, for even a jokey band can hold something special within it. In this case, The Fundamental Slimes and Humour holds just as much musical integrity as humour. That’s worth noticing.
Recommended for:
• goblins
• assholes
• people with ADHD
