Review Summary: 10/10 donkeys approve
The Shrek soundtrack is a lovely platter of various genres. This elegant platter is shown off betwixt naked Ogre farts, and what a lovely sight that is! It is a soundtrack of one’s childhood, and humans may forget the impact of it. While Ogre farts leave a lasting impression, Leslie Carter’s bubblegum 2000s pop song Like Wow is less memorable. It’s a great song, but I’m sorry, nothing compares to ogre farts.
Ogres are like onions, and this soundtrack is a succulent, three-tiered moist cake. If you forget Half Cocked’s version of Bad Reputation, it most likely means you’re dumb, because that song bangs harder than an ogre queef. The songs on the album are emotionally picked, keeping in mind the heart of the goofy, yet loving movie. Hallelujah is hilariously somber, in the most fitting way with its man vs. piano battle cry.
The large problem: it is an outdated album. When I say outdated, I mean the music. It is hardly listened to these days because the music is the kind of music that doesn’t last in the memory because it is old, and thus sounds old, and thus does not musically speak to us in today’s society. We are in a generation where the generation of such music is preferred because it sounds modern. The Shrek soundtrack, however, is an ancient relic from a bygone time when the world was young, and naive in hoping that the future would be better. The only joy we have left in such a society is in laughing at vulgar ogre farts, while desperately wishing we could be children again, looking at Shrek’s big ass.
The album as a whole is full of lovely music. From pop to rock to pop rock to rockin’ pop the album has it all. If that’s not enough for you, you are a soulless fiend slowly dying like Dark Souls 2. Shrek is no darkened soul, he is full of life. We should all learn a lesson from Shrek, who farts and he means it, and eats human like a boss. He doesn’t give a single *** and neither does the album, and that’s why it pwns.
