Review Summary: An unlikely but exquisite realization of the surprising potential of the electric fluid in the rendition of music. I do laud Herr Vikernes' formidable efforts at preserving European culture.
Upon the receipt of what I assumed to be a compilation of the greatest classics of Monteverdi rendered upon the harpsichord, I was most fortunately surprised by an error committed by the imbecilic shipping and handling personnel who issued my delivery. Upon placing the iridescent disc into the compact disc playing-apparatus I felt myself assaulted by what I immediately perceived to be the most vulgar cacophony of the electrical fluid I had ever heard.
Fortunately I was self-administering a prostate massage at this time and was so unable to turn off the apparatus immediately. As the initial shock of disgust subsided I was forced to recognize an immense profundity beneath the veneer of coarse wailing electrical guitars and primal screams. I entertained the first song
Dunkelheit in its entirety, which moved me very nearly to tears with its exquisite tristfulness. I was then swept into a Wagnerian frenzy by
Jesus Tod, as if drawn inexorably into the legendary
furor teutonicus of old, a spell which was only gradually broken by the remaining four songs on the album.
As
Gebrechlichkeit II drew to a close, I drifted into a deep slumber filled with vivid dreams: I dreamed that I were in Jotunheim, ever emerging the victor in single combat against the giants of frost and flame; I dreamed that I were a spectre riding on the wild hunt with Odin himself; I dreamed that I were a slain warrior standing in awe before Valgrind as the frigid waters of Thund roared about my bloodied thighs; I dreamed even that I had seen the Earth formed from the body of Ymir and grasped the runes from the void. And when I awoke I was a man forever changed. Not only is
Filosofem an album of the very highest calibre; it has
changed the very course of my life.
And so henceforth I am no longer the enfeebled servant of the Galilean; I forfeit my faith in the Christ in favor of the gods of yore and shall become the most devoted patron of underground black metal. Huzzah for Odin! Huzzah for Thor! Huzzah for Tyr and huzzah for Frigga! Huzzah for all Æsir and Vanir! Huzzah for our glorious pagan past and our ever more glorious future in Gimle!
Infernal "hailz" to all!
