Van Halen Van Halen
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gaslightanthem
May 21st 2009


5208 Comments


On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are
deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality
of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted.
You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and
sorrow wherever you go.

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off,
pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john.
You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish
plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish
boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup
pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing
gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted
clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are so clueless that if we stripped you naked, soaked you in
clue musk, and dropped you into a field full of horny clues, You
still would not have a clue.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are
degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing
you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go
away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard
stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it
goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension
of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid
collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed.
Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity
stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more
stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year.
Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our
universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial
fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence
of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the
laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an
epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me
again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride
your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant
trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.



PuddleSwimmer
May 21st 2009


1457 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

You're like an Englishman

gaslightanthem
May 21st 2009


5208 Comments


The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have
snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well...
it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a
creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together
a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective...
Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell,
and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary
skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that
everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget
that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these
things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then
I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been
"right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the
best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be
placing such a demand on you.

P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful,
cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable,
belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal,
fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic,
brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented,
lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic,
fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant,
clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb evasive,
double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative,
paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical,
cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant,
deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring,
plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious,
secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant,
self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and
Generally Not Good.

I hope this helps...




PuddleSwimmer
May 21st 2009


1457 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

it does, thnx babe



PS: im not poisonous anymore, i had the operation done that you recommended

gaslightanthem
May 21st 2009


5208 Comments


gonna have to use that more often against trolls

PuddleSwimmer
May 21st 2009


1457 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

where is yesconsiderably

gaslightanthem
May 21st 2009


5208 Comments


omg gonna do it to that mother fucker

supertouchox2
February 17th 2010


1063 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

this is so 5

xDANKx
March 30th 2010


12 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I love this album, great review pretty in-depth and detailed.

xDANKx
March 31st 2010


12 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Troll harder.

SteelErectedb4you8er
April 23rd 2010


2620 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Van Halen being the first band I remember getting down as a little kid when "Jump" and "Panama" came out. I can't help but love these albums. This a great rock n roll album. Van Lee Roth over Van Hagar anytime of the day.

LepreCon
April 23rd 2010


5481 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Van Cherone ftw

mark7477
September 25th 2010


414 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

The best van halen album from a long shot we know all the songs and love them as well enough said classic with a capital C!!!!

random
September 26th 2010


3152 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Jamie's Cryin' has a badass riff.

BigHans
May 13th 2011


30959 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Halen

AngelofDeath
Emeritus
May 13th 2011


16303 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Great



fucking



album.

chode
May 13th 2011


118 Comments


jump!

BigHans
May 13th 2011


30959 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

wrong album chode

KILL
May 13th 2011


81580 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

fuck jump

JamieTwort
May 13th 2011


26988 Comments


AIN'T TALKIN' BOUT LOVE



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