[Moseph]

Not a studio this time, somebody looking to form a band.

Title is "SEMI PRO/PRO MUSICIANS WANT TO START A PROG METAL/DOOM/SLUDGE BAND???"

34 year old vocalist from [location redacted] in search of musical brethren that share my passion for tunes with dark, nasty, bluesy, innovative riffs and hooks that would make even the most hardened death metal fan blush. Looking to slow things down in the style of doom/stoner/sludge/progressive metal.

No theatrics, no cheese, no gimmicks, no high pitched screaming like a girl, no lightning fast playing, no blast beats, no ballads, no artsy fartsy crap, no vikings, no pirates, nothing labeled "core", no death metal vampires, no cliches, no druggies, no "musician available" types, no amateurs, nothing mainstream, nobody younger than 25, nobody older than 35, no girls (sorry ladies), no emo, no copycats, no pop, no indie, no nu-metal, no funk, no folk rock, no college rock, no shredding lead players, nobody from the suburbs trying to play the blues, nobody without serious pro equipment, no horrible taste in music, and last but not least NO BULLpoop.

BANDS THAT ARE NOT CONSIDERED INFLUENTIAL: AMON AMARTH, BREAKING BENJAMIN, COHEED & CAMBRIA, GODSMACK, DISTURBED, AVENGED SEVENFOLD, DREAM THEATER, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE, SLIPKNOT, BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE, GREEN DAY, STONE SOUR, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, WOLFMOTHER, 311, BLINK 182, MATCHBOX 20, COLLECTIVE SOUL, LIVE, DMB, U2, ARCTIC MONKEYS, COLDPLAY, RADIOHEAD, THE BLACK KEYS.


BANDS THAT ARE CONSIDERED INFLUENTIAL: METALLICA, SLAYER, MEGADETH, DEATH, PANTERA, BLACK SABBATH, KING CRIMSON, YES, RUSH, ELP, THE RAMONES, BLACK FLAG, DANZIG, GUNS N ROSES, ALICE IN CHAINS, SOUNDGARDEN, NIRVANA, DAVID BOWIE, JANES ADDICTION, THE POLICE, MESHUGGAH, MASTODON, NEUROSIS, CLUTCH, LAMB OF GOD, THE MELVINS, TOOL, THE CARS, PINK FLOYD, LED ZEPPELIN, CREAM, THE WHO.


SERIOUS SEMI PRO/PRO GUITARISTS, DRUMMERS AND BASSISTS THINK THIS AD RESONATES WITH YOU? THEN LET'S GET TOGETHER NOW!!!

Just in general, this isn't the kind of thing you want to post if you're looking for somebody to play with. Essentially, you go out of your way to eliminate as many possible musicians in your immediate area as possible, without really specifying what you do want.

The age thing in particular is especially strange. Here's a tip, don't require that any applicant be between 25-35 when you yourself are 34. What, you're gonna quit the band in the next 24 months on principle?

Also, telling us who is and isn't influential is insulting, and in some cases completely wrong. At minimum, Radiohead have influenced a metric crap-ton of musicians. Clearly style wasn't considered in those lists either: The Cars are obviously pop; Megadeth is clearly a shred lead guitar band; about 80% of the "influential" list are easily called mainstream (which the poster said was a no-no).