My awesome rap (inspired by Maggotfelon)
 

**if no one noticed the "awesome" in the title was sarcasm**

Staring at this knife, i wonder if i should take my life
tonight, with a slice i could dice my veins
and this glock would be a shock to my brains
staring at this trigger i figure i can survive death
if i sell my soul even though i havent died yet
evereone here knows me, the diseased MC
on dope with a second hand smoke degree
now theres nothing else that we can do
except beat each other black and blue
drill you into the floor like a cheap screw
i tried to get high on five different attempts
thought i got pot or weed, it was just hemp
You can tell im still ill, when im swallowin advil
and seraquel like M & M's
when will this end, im in a straightjacket again
i remember this when i was ten
im actin whack, talkin back
swallowin prozac like i lost my heart and i want it back
please just stab me with a needle
there are too many people
ill burn an upside down cross into the side of a steeple
i run into a stick fight with a machine gun
and blast caps until my team won
if you cant tell ive turned into the mean one
if you'd just have held your tongues
i wouldnt have to had spit this one

i have no idea what to say....but since i've read it.....it's cool, i mean it's not that good but....see? i have no idea what to say. well you tried something new that's cool. sorry for the rambling..i'll let someone else do the crit. good effort tho. i guess...6.5/10 should do justice to this....sorry man:upset:

yah, i rediscovered Eminem so he kind of forced me to try it. it sounds pretty cool, because my bassist has got this sick riff goin in the background. but yah, this is just my attempt at an intro for a song

hmmm...well i can see this as an intro. what genre do you(your band) play? nu-metal..?

[QUOTE=Baodegoth]hmmm...well i can see this as an intro. what genre do you(your band) play? nu-metal..?[/QUOTE]

yah definitely nu metal, i get flamed a lot, but its pretty cool stuff

cool..i won't flame you cuz i like it too. in fact i'm probably one of the VERY few and rare persons that likes ALMOST every genre of music. from brit-pop(duran-duran, etc) to black metal or doom metal...i even like psychadelic trance...so as you can see i pretty much like ALMOST everything. there are genres i don't like but i guess i can't like 'em all. yep nu-metal is cool, i mean it's like everything else it has some good bands and some bad bands...nothing's perfect.

This song makes me want to stab out my eyes for even reading something so dumb.

thanks man, i listen to everything from Loreena McKennitt (gospel singer) Alanis Morisette, Six Pence None The Richer, SlipKnot, KoRn, Eminem, Marilyn Manson....weird stuff :chug:

[QUOTE=BeautifulButterfly453]This song makes me want to stab out my eyes for even reading something so dumb.[/QUOTE]

...do you have any constructive criticism, because thats what this forum is for

Well i come from a hip hop background. Its too typical for me. Im tired of hearing this type of stuff. even with the old excuse of I'm just reporting whats going on in the streets, or i'm just venting. Basically if i wanted to hear your rap, all i have to do is go get any rap cd out. well, about 99% of the stuff out. I mean, theres some catchy stuff here and there. but overall, its just too typical and im sure many would agree. I do like the upside down into the side of a steeple line(s). you should lose one of the swallowing, thats repetitive and seems forced. And come on, you cant say glock anymore in a rap. thats just lame. and busting caps is too. at least say something like shed metal, spitting shells like im hockin lugies or something. spitting is still in.
overall, i have to give you a 6. i mean, its nowhere near my rap cup of tee, but based on whats out nowadays, hell if you knew the right person you probably could get on a record!

Pixiesfanyoincarnate feedthegods I have been here for almost a year.

I know what the forum is.

It's just this is complete angst ****.

Stop pretending you have a bad life and go hug your mother.

^^^ haha, yah its not that great, it sounds a lot like some of Eminem's stuff, but i dont even like "rap" i just like Eminem and i felt like i needed to add some of his flare into my band so this is what came out

EDIT: to Merkaba-1

[QUOTE=BeautifulButterfly453]Pixiesfanyoincarnate feedthegods I have been here for almost a year.

I know what the forum is.

It's just this is complete angst ****.

Stop pretending you have a bad life and go hug your mother.[/QUOTE]

as ive said, if you have constructive criticism, id love to hear it :D

Uhm. Well. You thought wrong.

[QUOTE=feedthegods666]thanks man, i listen to everything from Loreena McKennitt (gospel singer) Alanis Morisette, Six Pence None The Richer, SlipKnot, KoRn, Eminem, Marilyn Manson....weird stuff :chug:[/QUOTE]

lol "Six Pence None The Richer" and me thinking i was the only person that listen to them(not always but now and then i like to hear some of their tunes)


"but based on whats out nowadays, hell if you knew the right person you probably could get on a record!"<---this isn't my thread but i would see this as a compliment.:lol:

Pixies is right. This song is so bad I don't know where to begin. Cliche-ridden garbage. What do you want me to say that's constructive? I honestly can't think of anything, that's how bad it is.

maggot ill blame you for this, lol... 5/10

Well i thought some parts were amazing and some jsut lame 7/10

also i dont think it could be done fast enough to be classed as a rap, althought the style is rapper like

"ill burn an upside down cross into the side of a steeple"

FVCK YEAH BIT.CH!!!!

Wow.

How.

Now,


Young bureaucrat?


*beats on bongos*

brown cow

*bang*

NO relax.... I just shot the flow.

[QUOTE=maggotfelon]"ill burn an upside down cross into the side of a steeple"

FVCK YEAH BIT.CH!!!![/QUOTE]

haha :chug: :chug:

I'll actually be a good poster and say that, it was good and I like it a lot, keep up the good work.

EDIT: Oh ****, I'm sorry I bumped it, I didn't notice how old it was.

this mustve been on page 40

While its here, I'll give 5/10 to the song, 10/10 for the bump.