[QUOTE=dazmo]dude tell her all of this, and if she throws it back in your face, she doesnt care about your relationship as much as you do. but dont break up with her unless its real bad[/QUOTE]

Man, I already know she doesn't care about it in the same capacity that I do. That's been established in our arguments already.

I asked her, "Do you see yourself with me for a really long time?"

She says, "Yes, I do."

I said, "Then if you go to college in Seattle, we're going to have to figure something out, because this is going to fall apart if it becomes long distance."

She says, "Well if our relationship gets in the way of school, you're the one that's going to have to adjust because I'm not going to turn this school down."

I tell her, "I'm not asking you to. However, I am asking you to make some different choices. For one, you should be looking into how we can live together up there instead of you smuggling Dominique into the dorms."

She tells me, "I already told you, nothing gets between me and Dominique. We're like sisters. You just have to deal with that, because it's not my problem."

She's so f[size=2]ucking[/size] immature sometimes. I really don't know how to deal with her 50% of the time.

I called her on that last week too. I told her, "You've gotten to be really immature lately. You put your high school friendships above what's supposed to be an adult relationship, you blow off our time together to go to the mall with your girlfriends.. I never see you anymore and all we do is fight about who's problems are worse. You've got some screwed up priorities."

She tells me, "Uhh my priorities are fine. You're the one that can't find another job so obviously you're the immature one. I'm working at the Dollar Tree, where are you working?"

I was like, "wtf you bitch"

[QUOTE=El Krunk]She tells me, "I already told you, [B]nothing gets between me and Dominique. [/B][B]We're like sisters.[/B] You just have to deal with that, because it's not my problem."[/QUOTE]
So shes willing to risk it for this "other person" but not you? dude she sounds like a bit[SIZE="2"]c[/SIZE]h and a half. Are you sure you want a relationship with someone who doesnt respect you?


this isnt telling you to break up with her btw

[QUOTE=dazmo]So shes willing to risk it for this "other person" but not you? dude she sounds like a bit[SIZE="2"]c[/SIZE]h and a half. Are you sure you want a relationship with someone who doesnt respect you?


this isnt telling you to break up with her btw[/QUOTE]

I've been over all that a dozen times. The only reason I haven't broken up with her is because I know that she does honestly love me, she's just so immature right now.. she doesn't understand the long-term consequences of her actions. She feels ultimately justified in everything she does, even if it hurts everyone around her.

jared it's pretty obvious what you have to do

dump her

seriously

[QUOTE=Eggo]jared it's pretty obvious what you have to do

dump her

seriously[/QUOTE]

I know Amit. It's just that I'm of the mindset that as long as love exists in the relationship, it's worth fighting for. I would feel not only horrible for dumping her, but also like I failed myself by giving up.

It's really difficult for me to get past that even though I know this relationship is nosediving.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I know Amit. It's just that I'm of the mindset that as long as love exists in the relationship, it's worth fighting for. I would feel not only horrible for dumping her, but also like I failed myself by giving up.

It's really difficult for me to get past that even though I know this relationship is nosediving.[/QUOTE]

that mindset makes sense when you're fighting for the survival of the last dodo or something

but the potential for love on this world of over 6 billion people is quite quite good

i've been in your position many times...but look at the last two words: MANY TIMES

its simply not worth it

[QUOTE=Eggo]that mindset makes sense when you're fighting for the survival of the last dodo or something

but the potential for love on this world of over 6 billion people is quite quite good

i've been in your position many times...but look at the last two words: MANY TIMES[/QUOTE]

If I really wanted to be introspective on this issue, I could claim that my unhealthy attachment to Lela stems to the fact that every relationship I've had so far in my life has ended miserably with 75% of my ex-girlfriends cheating on me and the rest having emotional breakdowns and trying to end themselves because they either failed a final or thought they were fat.

This is the only relationship I've ever been in that's lasted more than a month without any of these things happening. I know very well that I can find something far better; in fact there's another girl that I'm interested in right now that I've actually known for quite a few years. She used to be heavy into the punk scene until she was caught driving drunk with seven people in her car and she was without a valid license. That changed her around pretty quick and now she's the sweetest girl I know. In fact, she's invited me to a battle of the bands with her on Friday and I'm going to invite her to a movie next week.

But now that I've gone completely off-topic and I've lost my train thought: apples.

Seriously though, it's just a comfort thing for me. It would be so much easier to break up with her if she would just go f[size=2]uck[/size] someone else or something. :upset:

[QUOTE=El Krunk]If I really wanted to be introspective on this issue, I could claim that my unhealthy attachment to Lela stems to the fact that every relationship I've had so far in my life has ended miserably with 75% of my ex-girlfriends cheating on me and the rest having emotional breakdowns and trying to end themselves because they either failed a final or thought they were fat.

This is the only relationship I've ever been in that's lasted more than a month without any of these things happening. I know very well that I can find something far better; in fact there's another girl that I'm interested in right now that I've actually known for quite a few years. She used to be heavy into the punk scene until she was caught driving drunk with seven people in her car and she was without a valid license. That changed her around pretty quick and now she's the sweetest girl I know. In fact, she's invited me to a battle of the bands with her on Friday and I'm going to invite her to a movie next week.

But now that[B] I've gone completely off-topic[/B] and I've lost my train thought: apples.

Seriously though, it's just a comfort thing for me. It would be so much easier to break up with her if she would just go f[size=2]uck[/size] someone else or something. :upset:[/QUOTE]

have you? She sounds alright, and this other one sounds like shes a little bi[SIZE="2"]t[/SIZE]ch...:)

jared i take into account the various methodological perceptions involved in social interactions, especially for ones as complex as intimate interpersonal relationships

maybe thats why my solutions tend to be so straightforward and simple

anyway

despite the troubled past relationships you might have been in, just because this one is somewhat better in one comparative dimension does not mean that you have to suffer

laymen's terms:

there are a vast number of fish in the sea
if the one you have your rod hooked on is giving you trouble
forget that ho and move on to better waters

or

eating ten dead babies is slightly better than eating ten thousand dead babies

but the operative word is [I]slightly[/I]

[QUOTE=Eggo]jared i take into account the various methodological perceptions involved in social interactions, especially for ones as complex as intimate interpersonal relationships

maybe thats why my solutions tend to be so straightforward and simple

anyway

despite the troubled past relationships you might have been in, just because this one is somewhat better in one comparative dimension does not mean that you have to suffer

laymen's terms:

there are a vast number of fish in the sea
if the one you have your rod hooked on is giving you trouble
forget that ho and move on to better waters

or

eating ten dead babies is slightly better than eating ten thousand dead babies

but the operative word is [I]slightly[/I][/QUOTE]

I'd rather not eat any dead babies though. :upset:

I guess everyone has to swallow a few worms before they can eat lobster.

[QUOTE=Shady Ultima]Ok, I'm in a rather stupid predicament.
1 guy... three interests...
Girl #1 - My ex gf. We're still very close, hell I'm closer to her then her bf is. She is the first girl I ever made love to. One of the main reasons we broke up was her father, and another is the fact that I moved about 2 hours away for college. Not sure if I should hold out for her though.
Girl #2 - My best friend in high school. We flirted non stop, even when I was with Girl #1, and we were pretty close. I didn't spend much time with her over the summer, cause I worked non stop. I figured our friendship, and any chance of anything more was gone. I'm currently on spring break, and I saw her Tuesday. I spent a lot of time at her house, then we came to mine. She slept at my house... and we made love... multiple times. She told me she loves me... and I realized I do too. But, she also lives 2 hours away from me, and I couldn't deal with a long distance relationship.
Girl #3 - The only girl who lives where I do now. I met her through a friend who lives in the same house as I do. She's in High School, she's 16, and I am 18. She is somewhat religious, whereas I am an atheist. I know she has interest in me though. I am going to spend some time with her after my spring break. She's really cute too.

Here's my problem. I'm in love with both of the first 2 girls, and uncertain about the third. I don't know if I should follow through on dating #3, because I'm afraid of hurting #2. Also, I'm totally confused about my relationship with #1. She has told me on numerous occations that she wishes I still lived nearby, because she wants to have another run with our relationship. I know I shouldn't have slept with the first 2 girls... but I'm in love with them, and definately was at the time for #1. I'm so confused as to which girl to attempt to court. The first 2 girls, I can definately see a real future with, but due to distance, I can't really be with them. I feel stretched out... like Bilbo in LOTR "Like butter spread over too much bread". Any help would be greatly appreciated[/QUOTE]

Just because you had sex with somebody does not give you an obligation to stay with them. Sex, though an extremely intimate act, is not a permanent binding unless you wish it to be.

Do I think you're in love with both women? No. You only feel as if you should be committed to them because you had sex with them. For some reason, society has programmed men to think that way, when in reality it should be entirely up to you.

Personally, I would go with the second girl. The first one is in another relationship right now. That's something you generally don't want to get mixed up in. Of course, the love thing does make me a little wary.

And for god's sake, 2 hours is hardly a long-distance relationship. A friend of mine here on campus has a fiance who lives on the West Coast. How's that for perspective?

[QUOTE=El Krunk]Seriously though, it's just a comfort thing for me. It would be so much easier to break up with her if she would just go f[size=2]uck[/size] someone else or something. :upset:[/QUOTE]

Comfort be d[size=2]a[/size]mned. Regardless of whether or not she has any feelings for you, she's too immature to commit to a serious relationship. You don't need that. She's trying to have her cake and eat it too.

The reason I want to casually date is because I know I'm too busy right now to commit to a long-term relationship. It's not practical and it would be unfair to both me and the girl. Lela needs to make those same connections. She either can support your relationship on her end, or she's not ready for a relationship at all. Just because she hasn't cheated on you doesn't mean she isn't screwing up in other ways.

At the very least tell her that you two should take a break until she's ready to make up her mind.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]Man, I already know she doesn't care about it in the same capacity that I do. That's been established in our arguments already.

I asked her, "Do you see yourself with me for a really long time?"

She says, "Yes, I do."

I said, "Then if you go to college in Seattle, we're going to have to figure something out, because this is going to fall apart if it becomes long distance."

She says, "Well if our relationship gets in the way of school, you're the one that's going to have to adjust because I'm not going to turn this school down."

I tell her, "I'm not asking you to. However, I am asking you to make some different choices. For one, you should be looking into how we can live together up there instead of you smuggling Dominique into the dorms."

She tells me, "I already told you, nothing gets between me and Dominique. We're like sisters. You just have to deal with that, because it's not my problem."

She's so f[size=2]ucking[/size] immature sometimes. I really don't know how to deal with her 50% of the time.

I called her on that last week too. I told her, "You've gotten to be really immature lately. You put your high school friendships above what's supposed to be an adult relationship, you blow off our time together to go to the mall with your girlfriends.. I never see you anymore and all we do is fight about who's problems are worse. You've got some screwed up priorities."

She tells me, "Uhh my priorities are fine. You're the one that can't find another job so obviously you're the immature one. I'm working at the Dollar Tree, where are you working?"

I was like, "wtf you bitch"[/QUOTE]
you're being too logical in your arguements

then you get pissed off when you can't logic her to death

the dollar tree thing was completely unrelated, but it got to you. argue like that.

next arguement about this. "if you want to go to seattle so bad you obviously don't want to be with me. it's over". break up. cut contact.

don't speak to her unless she's begging for you back and if she's not doing that she's not worth it anymore.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]If I really wanted to be introspective on this issue, I could claim that my unhealthy attachment to Lela stems to the fact that every relationship I've had so far in my life has ended miserably with 75% of my ex-girlfriends cheating on me and the rest having emotional breakdowns and trying to end themselves because they either failed a final or thought they were fat.

This is the only relationship I've ever been in that's lasted more than a month without any of these things happening. I know very well that I can find something far better; in fact there's another girl that I'm interested in right now that I've actually known for quite a few years. She used to be heavy into the punk scene until she was caught driving drunk with seven people in her car and she was without a valid license. That changed her around pretty quick and now she's the sweetest girl I know. In fact, she's invited me to a battle of the bands with her on Friday and I'm going to invite her to a movie next week.

But now that I've gone completely off-topic and I've lost my train thought: apples.

Seriously though, it's just a comfort thing for me. It would be so much easier to break up with her if she would just go f[size=2]uck[/size] someone else or something. :upset:[/QUOTE]

This other girl seems nice, and you've known her, so no suprises. My advice end it with this one, wait a while, sort your head out, and see what comes of this other girl.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I know very well that I can find something far better; in fact there's another girl that I'm interested in right now that I've actually known for quite a few years. She used to be heavy into the punk scene until she was caught driving drunk with seven people in her car and she was without a valid license. That changed her around pretty quick and now she's the sweetest girl I know. In fact, she's invited me to a battle of the bands with her on Friday and I'm going to invite her to a movie next week.[/QUOTE]

Well, I don't want to push you in any direction you don't want to go in Jared, but if Lela is having committment/maturity problems, it might be a good idea to keep this 'sweetest girl I know' on side if things with Lela really do go down the tubes (which in my humble opinion would be anything but a disaster).

Also, how's the illness? Hope your feeling better today. :wave:

Thanks guys.

[quote=Chrysostom]Also, how's the illness? Hope your feeling better today.[/quote]

Just having some breathing issues here and there and my body feels about half as strong as it usually does, but I'll keep on truckin' until either my engine burns out or I can afford some repairs.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]Thanks guys.



Just having some breathing issues here and there and my body feels about half as strong as it usually does, but I'll keep on truckin' until either my engine burns out or I can afford some repairs.[/QUOTE]

Did you see that link about Oregon health care?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Did you see that link about Oregon health care?[/QUOTE]

Yeah, but I don't qualify for anything free and free is the only thing in my budget.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]Yeah, but I don't qualify for anything free and free is the only thing in my budget.[/QUOTE]

You should because you're not working. Is there another qualification you need to meet?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]You should because you're not working. Is there another qualification you need to meet?[/QUOTE]

[quote][B]Individual health insurance companies are allowed to turn you down due to a health problem[/B]. If you have been rejected, the Oregon Medical Insurance Pool will provide you with insurance. Insurers are allowed to impose a waiting period of 90 days for coverage. Insurers are further allowed to study the last six months of your medical history before coverage for pre-existing conditions. Pregnancy can be considered a pre-existing condition, but genetic information cannot.[/quote]

I don't even know how to get in contact with the insurance pool. They don't tell you that.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]I don't even know how to get in contact with the insurance pool. They don't tell you that.[/QUOTE]

[url=http://www.omip.state.or.us/]Oregon Medical Insurance Pool Website[/url]

Do you have a pre-existing condition?

[url]http://www.omip.state.or.us/[/url]

What is it thats wrong again, i remember that you werent well, but i forget..

edit-you and your e-agility

[QUOTE=Chaindrive][url=http://www.omip.state.or.us/]Oregon Medical Insurance Pool Website[/url]

Do you have a pre-existing condition?[/QUOTE]

Arthritis and schizophrenia.

[QUOTE=El Krunk]Arthritis and schizophrenia.[/QUOTE]

It probably wouldn't hurt to apply for free coverage, just to see what your options are...

Hello members of this great thread. How is everything?

[QUOTE=Tillius]Hello members of this great thread. How is everything?[/QUOTE]

Good, how's things with you?

Hi, Mitch. How goes the new romance?

It goes well. It's already a much better relationship then I had with Sarah, because Sarah was always finding SOME way to be all upset, but Pamela is all cool about things and is actually fun.

[QUOTE=Tillius]It goes well. It's already a much better relationship then I had with Sarah, because Sarah was always finding SOME way to be all upset, but Pamela is all cool about things and is actually fun.[/QUOTE]

Top stuff. :thumb:

Nice, then. :)

Did you hear that my guy is now an mxer?

WHAT? What's his name?