User
Reviews 3 Approval 80%
Soundoffs 3 Album Ratings 1094 Objectivity 69%
Last Active 02-01-22 6:56 pm Joined 06-15-11
Review Comments 18,520
| Batman live action ranked
Fight me | 11 | | Fetid Steeping Corporeal Mess
Snyder’s Justice League - This isn’t really a Batman movie, but everyone is putting the Snyder movies in their list so why not. This one is really middle of the road for me. It’s fucking a billion hours long, and it’s “fine” but I really get bored with it, and one again it’s not truly a Batman film so ::shrug:: | 10 | | Horrendous Ecdysis
Batman v Superman - Ok fuck this movie. It gets props for having comic accurate suits and for Ben Affleck actually being an AWESOME Batman, but for me that adds to my anger towards it. And that’s where I get to the real point - I can’t laugh at this movie. Unlike fun train wrecks like Forever and B&R, this one SHOULD be a good movie. It’s dark, it’s taking from several of the best fucking Batman and Superman stories of all time, and it’s setting up a whole universe of some of the best characters in comic history. The fact that this is just bad, with Jessie Eisenberg being told to act like a buffoon and not like Lex at all, with the Batman conflict making zero sense, and just botching so many classic stories…ugh. Thank God the theater I saw this in served beer. I spent most of this movie with my head in my hands.
This is above Justice League purely because it has arguably the best Batman fight scene of all time. If that wasn’t here, this would be WAY below. | 9 | | Hath All That Was Promised
Batman Forever - Now THIS is the one that I really grew up with. I saw the Burton ones all of the time on TV, but this is the first one I saw in theaters - dressed up as The Riddler one year and that cheesy ass version of Two-Face the next. Had all the toys and everything. All that being said, most of my enjoyment from this movie comes from “oh man I remember being a kid.” This is WAY too goofy for me, and I have friends that still genuinely like this one but I’d be lying if I said it was my style. Nothing is comic accurate, everything is insane. That being said, Kilmer isn’t the worst Batman (and now that I saw Val, I know that most of it wasn’t his fault) and Jim is a fucking blast to watch due to his unmatched energy. That man fucking brings it. A very, very rare rewatch for me. | 8 | | Obliteration Black Death Horizon
Batman & Robin - This movie is the worst movie ever, if you’re actually viewing it as a Batman movie. But why the fuck would you do that, all these years later? This movie is The Room. Smoke a blunt, sit back and enjoy the never ending puns. It admittedly DOES get tiring after about an hour of nonstop neon garbage, but I laugh at this thing like a psycho when I watch it. It’s above Forever for me not for quality, but because of the drinking game possibilities/how many times I put this on. | 7 | | Morbus Chron Sweven
Batman ’89 - My brother has this at the top - he’s a few years older than me and was able to see this in theaters as a kid, so maybe my ranking would be different if I had been there for the time, but tbh this one feels disjointed to me. It has that classic score, and it created this really elaborate universe so I have to give it credit for that (especially considering what superhero movies were at the time…which was mostly pathetic), but I generally don’t come back to this one. Still, whenever I do put this on, I am thoroughly entertained. Good times growing up where everyone in the universe thought no one in the world could ever replace Jack Nicholson lol | 6 | | Tomb Mold Planetary Clairvoyance
TDKR - Alright, well this one was hyped as all hell for me. How the hell was Nolan gonna conclude his trilogy? Whelp, with a shit ton of ambition and a shit ton of plot holes/conveniences. The scene where Bane meets Batman is still one of my favorite scenes in the entire trilogy. There are some other fantastic set pieces that really show off the budget, but it still doesn’t feel as dangerous as the previous movie, which is a huge problem for the concluding chapter. Anne Hathaway is FINE but realllyyy not that memorable as Catwoman imo. I go back and forth with the Bane voice, but when it’s menacing, it’s reallll menacing. This movie should have been so much more. I don’t return to this one too much because the plot holes just bug me so goddamn much. Still, lots of great scenes and not terrible by any means, but not “great” in a series of films where “great” was the minimum standard. | 5 | | Undeath Lesions of a Different Kind
The Lego Batman movie - Holy shit, so much love was put into this thing that it reminds me of Spider-Verse. The obscure references are off the chain, and the humor is on point! Arrested Development is in my top 3 comedy shows of all time (along with Eastbound and Its Always Sunny) so I was already looking forward to Will Arnett’s performance, and man did he kill it. Just talking about it makes me want to rewatch this one. | 4 | | Cerebral Rot Excretion Of Mortality
Batman Returns - Oh man, this one scared the bejezuz out of me when I was a kid. The cats eating Michelle back to life, Penguin biting someone’s nose off, and that entire fucked up ending. This isn’t really a great “Batman” movie per se, since it lives in Burton’s gothic world where Batman doesn’t really care about killing people, but it’s one of my favorite Burton movies. It just goes all out and doesn’t give a flying fuck what the audience thinks. It’s ballsy as hell and to this day has my favorite Catwoman. | 3 | | Worm Foreverglade
The Batman - If I saw this when I was younger, this would undoubtably be my favorite. This actually has my favorite atmosphere out of any of the Batman films - I am a sucker for dark, twisted movies about serial killers and this seems catered directly to me. Gotham FINALLY feels just as it should - a fucking cesspool of villainy that only someone like Batman could view as worth saving. Acting is top notch, the fighting is just as brutal as I want, and the choice of villains is perfect. This gets points taken away because I truly don’t like what they did with Bruce Wayne here (even though it’s been explained to me that he hasn’t yet learned how to be Bruce, I get it but still) and the fact that I think the third act is really out of place. It went from a slow, gritty story to that damn cursed superhero third act where the whole city has to be in danger (and tbh, it doesn’t even make all that sense with Ridler’s plan). | 2 | | Mortiferum Preserved in Torment
TDK - There has been so much that has been said about this movie, so I’ll try not to be boring. This has my favorite scenes in any movie in any genre, and is to this day my absolute #1 favorite theater experience of any movie I have ever seen in my life. Heath is perfect, Eckhard is perfect, etc but this unfortunately does not have as much replay value for me because I do believe it has some very awkward pacing in places. For me, this comes down to the fact that Bruce/Batman was a main character in BB and now all of the sudden he seems to only be talking about the plot (a more serious problem in future Nolan films for me). BB got me so invested in this version of the character, and I get that The Joker and Two Face are awesome, but I would have preferred to have that along with the deep interpretation of Bruce - that would have really elevated this for me. And also the Batman voice is somehow even worse in this movie, and the fighting seems even more awkward. | 1 | | Dream Unending Tide Turns Eternal
Batman Begins - This movie really got the idea of Batman being an actual interesting hero down just right for the very first time in cinema. The inclusion of Ra’s and Scarecrow to compliment the themes of fear were brilliant and everyone’s performance was top notch. I actually don’t mind the quick cuts because in this movie it feels appropriate, going with the League of Shadows storyline. Everything here is just perfectly paced, the humor and action really come together and for me make this one (if not THE) defining origin story the whole superhero genre. The only nitpick I have, is that I REALLY wish Nolan went a bit more all out with the Scarecrow scare scenes. He had an opportunity to really put some nightmare inducing shit on screen and for some reason he just kinda…didn’t. That and him going out like a punk - I get what he was trying to do, but it just seemed like a massive missed opportunity in an otherwise perfect film. | |
DarkSideOfLucca
03.08.22 | Another Batman thread, I know.
I couldn't help it. | DarkSideOfLucca
03.08.22 | Oh fuck wait I forgot Rises uhhhh
I'll do a write up for that when I have another break from work. That would be between Lego Batman and Batman 89 | DarkSideOfLucca
03.08.22 | Fixed m/ | foxblood
03.08.22 | that's a pretty reasonable ranking, 9 and 8 are amazing I enjoy them quite a bit. i'd go 3,7,4,9/8,2,1,10,11,6 never saw the lego one. | DarkSideOfLucca
03.08.22 | Dude, check out the Lego one. It fucking rules | DominionMM1
03.08.22 | 7 is 1 | TalonsOfFire
03.08.22 | Reasonable ranking [2] mine would be TDK>TDKR>BB>The Batman>1989>Returns>Snyder’s JL>B Forever>B&R>JL2017>BvS. I haven’t seen the Lego one. | Uzumaki
03.08.22 | Where is the 60’s Batman? Can’t have a proper Batman film ranking without it | foxblood
03.09.22 | the '66 movie is awesome definitely one of the better films. | normaloctagon
03.09.22 | love the love for batman begins for suuure | DarkSideOfLucca
03.09.22 | I actually don't know if I've seen the 66 movie
I have seen a ton of old Batman eps - maybe one day when I'm in that particular mood I'll throw it on aha | MO
03.09.22 | 1, 7, 4, 2 then the rest for me | Storm In A Teacup
03.09.22 | I agree that the '66 Batman movie should be rannked as well. It is easily in the top 6 Batman films. | Storm In A Teacup
03.09.22 | Let's go...but...inconspicuously...through the window...
Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb! ¯_(ツ)_/¯ | JeetJeet
03.09.22 | The new one is tied with Dark Knight as best Batman movie. | Trebor.
03.09.22 | It's crazy how most of the animated movies are better than 8-11
Mask of Phantasm/Animated Series Batman is probably my favorite Batman overall | MetalMarcJK
03.09.22 | 5 is 1. The LEGO Batman Movie is amazing. | WhiteNoise
03.09.22 | Where the hell is Adam West? I’ll take Batman 66 over Snyder and the 90’s movies. | AnimalsAsSummit
03.09.22 | Batman Begins at 1 is an interesting pick, but I kind of agree. That movie goes hard asf. | AnimalsAsSummit
03.09.22 | Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker is one Id put in my top ranking too | Rolling Girl
03.09.22 | Batman Returns is definitely my favorite. But I agree that Batman and Robin > Forever | rabidfish
03.09.22 | batman below TDKR and LEGO BATMAN?
How old are you, kiddo | bananatossing
03.09.22 | My favorite will always be Batman Returns. It's insane, visually gorgeous, Michelle Pfeiffer kills it as Catwoman and the pacing is simply perfect. The Batman is my second favorite, though. Stunning film and I want to watch it again.
Btw I agree Batman & Robin is better than Batman Forever just because it's so laughable and ridiculous. Forever is also dumb but it tries to be serious at times so it ends up being pretty boring. If The Flash retcons the Schumacher films I can die peacefully. | Deathconscious
03.09.22 | The only LEGO movie ive seen was the one where Will Ferrell was the villain and it was pure cringe, so im not really in the mood to give LEGO Batman a chance.
Mildly stoked to see The Batman. The Dark Knight was alright but i wasnt all that into it. | Egarran
03.09.22 | >How old are you, kiddo
>Batman ’89 - My brother has this at the top - he’s a few years older than me and was able to see this in theaters as a kid
Maffs. | JeetJeet
03.09.22 | As a HUGE Dark Knight fan I gotta say The Batman outclasses it in almost every way possible. | budgie
03.09.22 | maffs, bitch. | Emim
03.09.22 | Lego Batman is amazing | DarkSideOfLucca
03.10.22 | "How old are you, kiddo"
Dude maffs indeed lmao
"As a HUGE Dark Knight fan I gotta say The Batman outclasses it in almost every way possible."
::possible vague spoilers for The Batman below::
Semi-agree. I still stand by that I'm not huge on what they did with Bruce, and that the third act/Riddlers plan should have been done in a bit more subtle and creepy route rather than huge comic book gotham city in danger ending shit which felt way out of line with the rest of the movie/rest of his plan imo | Hendoi
03.10.22 | Joker and Suicide Squad really speak to me |
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