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Gene Gol-Jonsson
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for if you're ever in Prague: underground guide

sitting on my ass during the quarantine earlier this year and now again being covid positive got me reminiscing on the good old days when i could just stroll freely through my city and always be stones throw away from some fantastic place. so here's a few of my favourite spots in the town for those of you who might want to visit some day.
1Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


BARS AND CAFÉS

BlackBook Čítárna (in English: Reading Room)
One of the most unique places I've ever been to. A spot hidden from any busy city life and far enough away that a trip there cannot be just in passing. Once you're there, you don't want to leave and always wish to return. The endless chaotic stacks of books that hide the walls, like three cats and a dog strolling around and an owner that is probably the crown jewel of the place, that's Blackbook. The layout of the place essentially forces you to socialise with your drinking fellows, you always find company, even if you come in alone and wish to be alone. That's not that kind of place. You come in, you're with the people. Always.
2Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Super Tramp Coffee
A beautiful hidden gem. Other than that kind of a typical café, but great place to unwind, detox, be quiet and rest.
3Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Vila Ĺ tvanice
Kind of a biased pick, cause I work there. But it is a wonderful place located in an old romantic villa on an island (for real) on the river. Theatrical crowd gathering here, so if you are into performance arts, come here to watch and talk to people who do it.
4Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Bike Jesus
Located on the same island as the place above. Used to be an indoors ice skating rink, then turned into a very cool club/music venue, now became a strange punk-techno-oriented bike shop and repair service and venue.
5Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Unijazz
This bitch gave me corona. Used to be a herald of our underground culture. You had to ring a doorbell in a regular house, where people live. They'd buzz you up and there it was. In what initially was just an apartment, a strange mishmash of people that would have never met otherwise, small cheap menu and an atmosphere of art unlike anywhere else. They have since moved to a new location, bigger and with a garden (well, more of an alleyway) and it looks and feels just as fantastic. But still, got corona there.
6Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Balbínova poetická kavárna (in English: Balbín's Poetic Café)
Weird weird weird little place, calling this café "poetic" is very apt, because it kinda looks like someone's basement, where all the witty insane artists meet (and they do). Pretty much where poetry/prose reading happens nearly daily.
7Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Zázemí
Cheap shit, but it's a place where you are destined to meet someone you will befriend. I have not yet had a visit here, where I wouldn't meet someone new to me or someone I haven't seen in a long time. A people-unifying place.
8Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Friends Bar
Gay bar for straight people.
9Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Střecha Radost (in English: The Happiness Roof)
Not too cheap, but a café located on a highrise rooftop is worth it.
10Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Wildt
Maybe a bit touristic and a little pricy. But a great cosy atmosphere nonetheless.
11Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Café Na půl cesty (in English: the Halfway Café)
Punk café. Or just a café where most local underground punk scene gathers.
12Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Bakeshop
Best carrot cake ever.
13Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Dejvická Nádražka (in English: The Dejvice Station Bar)
The shittest shit place on the list. You cannot get more Czech than this shit.
14Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Klubovna Cultural Centre (in English: The Clubhouse)
The same as 13, but more for young people, located in the heart of the student district.
15Indigo Jam Unit
Demonstration


Indigo Ale Bar
The young people of Prague (and just people of Prague) are forever divided into two (passive) enemy camps: those who liked Indigo when it was a cheap shit drug dealing hole that served minors, and those who liked Indigo when it became a dirty but classy craft beer bar. It was a great spot either way (for me, the pacifist). A spot so great I still have an open tab (a debt that's been going on for way too fucking long) there for about 200 dollars (4-5000 korunas). Hope they'll do great once they reopen in the new spaces they move to.
16Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Dno pytle (in English: The Bottom of the Bag)
Craft beer bar with the attitude of a rundown punk dive bar.
17Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Once Upon a Beer
Craft beer bar with the attitude of a rundown punk dive bar [2]
18Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Diego Beer Bar (+Café Frida)
Craft beer bar (and a café with an overwhelming selection of fine spirits and curious alcohols) that tries to pretend it's a rundown punk dive bar, but is actually very classy.
19Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


ROH družstevní kavárna
Teeny tiny café. Miniscule. Adorable.
20Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


LAMA Bar
Improv jam sessions and jazz concerts almost every night and almost always for free. Plus my first rapé ritual session happened here.
21Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Krymská street (Bad Flash Bar, Café V Lese, Patra, MUNDO Picante, Ráno Kávu Večer Víno, Lya Beer Bar, Xao bookstore)
A legendary street, where most of life happens. Every door an establishment. Every establishment an experience.

R.I.P. Sběrné suroviny; R.I.P. Plevel
22Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Café Bar Tečka (in English: Dot)
An ugly shit drunkard place. For poor students and cheap fuck. But it's all about community there. The people.
Shame it's moving to a shit location now.
23Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


CrossClub
This and the thing below are probably the most touristy places on the list. Not that they are the most tourist friendly, but the most tourist popular. Both for their unique strange look and atmosphere. This one looks like it was designed by H.G. Giger and some steampunk psychopath. Quite expensive, but a beautiful place anyway.
24Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Vzorkovna
Quite scary when you first come here, but you'll get used to it.
25Purplefox Town
Purplefox Town


Café Nová doba (in English: New Age Café)
Just a cute little place in a cool hip neighbourhood.


Imaginární zmrzlina
Vegan ice cream shop in the centre. Awesome flavours, interesting methods.
26Zuby nehty
UtĂ­kej


CULTURAL CENTRES and INTERESTING PLACES

Kavárna a knihkupectví Blatouch (in English: Buttercup Café and Bookshop)
Cute stuff.
27Zuby nehty
UtĂ­kej


Book Therapy
Bookstore that sells only aesthetically and thematically remarkable books. They handpick the most interesting books from around the world, restore and reprint them. Great stuff.
28Zuby nehty
UtĂ­kej


Divadlo D21
Great theatre.
29Zuby nehty
UtĂ­kej


MeetFactory
A concert venue and an alternative experimental art atelier/gallery.
30Zuby nehty
UtĂ­kej


Petrohradská kolektiv
Art collective with an unusual art direction and location.
31Zuby nehty
UtĂ­kej


Vacuum Art Bar
In the basement, weird place. Cool tho.
32Psí Vojáci
Myši v poli a jiné příběhy


PARKS AND SUCH

Modřany Gully
33Psí Vojáci
Myši v poli a jiné příběhy


Grébovka
34Psí Vojáci
Myši v poli a jiné příběhy


Chotkovy gardens
35Psí Vojáci
Myši v poli a jiné příběhy


Stromovka
36Psí Vojáci
Myši v poli a jiné příběhy


Letná (+Stalin bar)
37Plešatá zpěvačka
Vlasy dievÄŤat


while im doing this, here are places to avoid:
Náměstí Republiky (Republic Square)
the beercycles, fuck those fucking things
the entire Nusle district and mostly everything south of there (except for what's noted above)
anything east of KarlĂ­n
Wenceslas Square
Old Town Square
Lokál restaurants
any place with a price on a lager over 45 korunas (unless it's craft)
most places west of SmĂ­chov
38Dead Neanderthals
Ghosts


also best burger joints in the city:
NevinnĂ˝ bar Gecko
Diego beer bar and Café Frida
Hill Billy
Belzepub
Serial Burgers
Peter's Burger Pub
Modena Pizzeria
MeatVandals
DISH fine burger bistro
Let's Meat
Salt'n'Pepa
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