My Ultimate Bucks Night Guest List
If I could choose a bunch of fellas to run amok for my upcoming bucks night, this is the company I would keep. They would complement my regular bunch of mates nicely I reckon. |
| 1 | Billy Connolly
The Jester. For laughs, yarns and some Celtic banjo shit |
| 2 | Bruce Dickinson
The Pilot. We need someone to fly us to the destination. No better way than flying in on Ed Force One. |
| 3 | Gene Hoglan
The Security guard/bouncer. Cause every group needs an intimidating man built like a brick shithouse. |
| 4 | Tosin Abasi
The token black man. Cause every group needs one. |
| 5 | Devin Townsend
The Madman. For laughs and awesome photobombed. I'd make him grow back the skullet though. |
| 6 | Killer Mike
The other Security man. He and Gene Hoglan would make a formidable duo. |
| 7 | Tom Waits
The Elder statesman. To balance out the high levels of testosterone, you need an elder statesman who will be the last man standing and the one person to count on when things turn to custard |
| 8 | Jeff Bridges
Another elder statesman |
| 9 | Peter Gabriel
The United Nations multicultural activist philanthropist guy. Cause they are helpful when held at gunpoint by pirates and terrorists. |
| 10 | Martin Axenrot
The False celebrity. All the girls be like is that Legolas from Lord of the rings? Turns out he's just an all round good cunt with a cool sounding speech impediment |
| 11 | Dave Grohl
The Everyman Rock star. |
| 12 | Josh Homme
The Token Ginger. Every group needs one and you don't get much cooler than the Ginger Elvis himself |
| 13 | Mastodon
All of the lads. |
| 14 | Keith Buckley (Every Time I Die)
The most likely to get into a fight |
| 15 | Til Lindemann (Rammstein)
The Pyromaniac. Every group needs that one guy who can turn himself into a human fireball. |
| 16 | Greg Puciato (Dillinger Escape Plan)
The other Pyromaniac. |
| 17 | Ian Mackaye
The Sober driver. Every group needs a designated driver, and you can't get any more straight edge than this guy. |
| 18 | Michael Winslow
The human voice box from Police Academy. Imagine how cool his party tricks would be. |
| 19 | Kanye West
The Wingman. Get him drunk and he can hook the boys up with a Kardashian. Or a Jenner. |
| 20 | Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
The sleeping giant. Wouldn't it be wonderful to fall asleep in his man boobs while he softly sings somewhere over the rainbow... |
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