Review Summary: Hardcore and Metal at it's absolute worst.
I was far too harsh to Twinspan, they are afterall only kids, just starting up and really have next to no idea what they are getting involved in, debate it and call them what you will, metal or metalcore, their's one thing that one cannot debate with, Twinspan has brought nothing new to the table. Everything on this album has been done to death for the past 20 years in both the Punk and Metal community.
To be completely honest, this album could have been something special at least to me, I watched these songs as they were constructed, while Twinspan wasn't making anything particularly revolutionary, in my local music scene, they are the least garbage band, so their's that.....when you come from a city where most bands are just emulating the southern rock sound of the 90's and early 2000's a band like Twinspan is a breath of much needed fresh air.
So okay, I know these guys, personally, and I know they are capable of so much more, so upon start of the album I am greeted with a shitty interlude song (What Noises Do Giant Spiders Make?), that makes me wonder why I am trying to defend this band....Okay so a slip up right out of the gate, I don't think starting the album with an interlude track is ever a good idea, it's annoying as shit. At least in my humble opinion.
Okay and here we go, the main problem of this album, the mixing, it is BAD. "240 HD" sounds like it was recorded with a first genreation IPOD mic in the backalley of a dive bar. The reliance on double bass drum patterns don't really help the album AT ALL from feeling done and over done. The fake laugh in "240 HD" makes me cringe quite hard.
"We let the heat grow cold, inside of all our souls, and everything has never so lonely."
I guess good bands have over exposed me to to phenomenal lyrics, so this kind of stuff doesn't fly with me, A for effort though, next we have "1 - 800 Find Ben", which actually isn't too bad, the mixing isn't a problem, it comes out of the ashes of the burn up wreckage that was "240 HD", which is quite literally one the worst songs on the entire album. The screams are pretty nice, the singing isn't really too bad.
Well, "Fireantz" is a pretty boring song it sounds like Nu Metal was given too much melatonin and fell asleep in the middle of recording, oh more, audio clips, I'm starting to remember why I had to be drunk to listen to this. Dammit. Fireantz is skippable, very underwhelming half baked song.
Back to the bad mixing with "I Saw Jason Wearing a Face" I was never sure what the hell was up with the title of this song? But too late to ask I suppose. The guitar sounds kinda faint and everything is mixed low, it sounds really bad. Which is a near constant problem. The screams are at a normal volume at points, then not, then they are, which takes me out of the moment, so the normal vocals are low with the guitar and then the screams are louder than everything else, whatever the song is over, it wasn't bad but wasn't that great either.
Myself Benevolent, Well they sure ruined this one for me, when it was played live, their was so much energy in their perormance, oh and the guitar is now mixed over everything, can't hear the vocals that well....Okay I'm gonna get this out of the way, WHOEVER MIXED THIS ALBUM SHOULD BE FUCKING FIRED, there. That being said it's pretty bad. Given all that.
Tear Down This Wall, well alright now we are getting somewhere this is pretty energetic and fun, scream vocals lead the vocals for the most part in this song, giving the sound a much needed kick in the ass, the hamfisted political message is a bit much, show don't tell, guys, show don't tell. That would have been a good motto in production and recording too. Chorus is empty of life, sounds like singer was bored and just trying to get home as quickly as possible. The song ends on an audio clip, because of course it does.....The break in the song sounds kinda nice over the audio clip at least. So we have that. Whoa, that end was actually pretty badass honestly. They shouldn't have gone back into the chorus though.
Orange Juice : Singer wanted to name a song after murderer OJ Simpson, bassist said no, so title was kind of a joke in a way. Not that it really matters in regards to the review, but I found it an intresting tid bit, song is garbage, I hated hearing it live and hate hearing it now, vocals are boring, lifeless, completely void of energy. Everytime the chorus wraps back around I wanna skip the song. "I am content with this perfect world." more pretty bad lyrics. Guitar and bass are kinda intresting, just the rest of the song is super underwritten and underperormed. Boring. Skippable. Filler.
Don't Mess With Tina is an acronym for the drug DMT, yeah, this one also has a dumb title, and it also starts with an audio clip from what sounds like a movie? It's pretty hard to hear, and I really don't care. Musically disintresting and underwhelming, doesn't start for nearly half the length, and even then nothing special, beings with a backdrop of unitresting instrumentation and ends with a forefront of boring performances. Skippable, awful filler, audio clips are too over abundant in this ONE SONG!
Back On Dogwood, sounds like a really bad version of New Found Glory, and is one of the worst songs on the album, boring, uninspired, pop punk. Nothing new, this is the worst the lyrics get, very very very awful. Break down sounds okay at least, which is a first on this entire album so far. But all in all terrible song is terrible, but hey at least there wasn't an audio clip, vocals sounds uninspired and boring, lyrics sound like they were written after a break up in Jr High School.
Stigma Nerosa actually kinda reminds me of 90's indie rock instrumentally, which is odd, but whatever. Vocally a void of boring nothingness, lyrically boring as hell, seems when the band tries to slow down it blows up in their face. Chorus is bad, bad, bad, bad. "Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaause everyone buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurns with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Um.......okay? Skippable, boring. Some cool guitar parts strown throughout, but overall not worth listening to.
Captain Heindseight, a reference to South Park, obviously, most honest and mature song on the album, which speaks volumes about how bad the lyrics are, but hey highschoolers singing about high school heart break is normal, but high schoolers badly writing about political issues they read about on the internet.....that's whole other thing entirely. Song was once surprisingly decent, but the mixing is bad, listen to the original on Youtube, it's better.
Bro I Do Crossfit closes out the album, and it is HORRIBLE, sounds like NES chiptune stuff that I Fight Dragons would do, but it's done BADLY. Album comes to and end. Overall, a prety underwhelming debut, when Twinspan gets it right the hit it out of the park, but when they get it wrong, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD it shows!
Cons : Bad mixing. Not too great lyrics for the most part. eratic vocal performances ranging from decent to god awful, boring drums.
Pros : Cool guitar here and there, the bass can sometimes be a pretty nice surprsise, and there are some nice ideas here and there.
With all that being said....should you check out "Anthems of Your Scene Phase?" Well yes and no, if you are at all curious then yeah check it out, it has some good moments, but they are severely outweighed by the bad.
2.0/5
but that album came out in the 80's.
