| | Full Review | Ratings (155) |
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| 4.0 excellent | Jared Floryan | December 21st 14 | Deep inside a pool of seltzer water, the flames on your head suddenly can't be extinguished and gun-toting cats are visiting whilst riding fossils away from rocks. The quirky, stomach-churning, but accessible strengths holding the reins of Doc at the Radar Station are reasonably responsible for this incorrigibly intimate situation. Don Van Vliet, better known by the stage moniker 'Captain Beefheart', delivers amusing vocals all while the blues-influenced guitar work keeps things steady and many miles from shallowness. Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band sound mesmerizing enough for me to go experience other material, specifically Trout Mask Replica.
2 Bumps | Bump |
| 4.5 superb | StonesDoorsSabbath | November 3rd 18 | This album is, to a large extent, Captain Beefheart's reaction to punk and New Wave, who he (debatably) felt ripped him off. The Captain is more full of piss and vinegar than usual, particularly on "Ashtray Heart," "Brickbats," and "Sheriff Of Hong Kong." "Making Love To A Vampire With A Monkey On My Knee" brings it home with something as weird as anything he ever did. Probably the most inspired album of Beefheart's later career.
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| 0.0 | altertide0 | May 22nd 15 | It's not really "the best batch yet" but it's a great album nonetheless, even if probably the worst of the 78-82 trilogy.
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| 5.0 classic | Goatlord | July 19th 12 | A war is a pimple on the pope's pet dragon. bad vugum.
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| 3.5 great | JoeTex | August 25th 25 |
| 4.0 excellent | cb123 | May 18th 25 |
| 3.5 great | ATTA | September 3rd 24 |
| 3.5 great | doofy | January 8th 24 |
| 4.0 excellent | perival | October 21st 23 |
| 4.0 excellent | Lodger | September 18th 23 |
| 4.5 superb | ach31 | August 21st 23 |
| 3.5 great | Oatus | May 18th 22 |
| 3.5 great | KuyJuk | December 19th 21 |
| 4.0 excellent | bloaf38 | December 6th 20 |
| 4.5 superb | yoil | December 31st 19 |
| 4.0 excellent | Flomink | June 24th 19 |
| 4.5 superb | Cisumla | February 22nd 19 |
| 5.0 classic | El Olam | February 13th 18 |
| 3.5 great | bbgames | December 24th 17 |
| 4.0 excellent | bobby72 | December 17th 17 |
| 3.5 great | H61 | August 20th 16 |
| 3.5 great | Smelty | June 22nd 16 |
| 4.5 superb | loulou | March 11th 16 |
| 3.0 good | AWOL3 | December 25th 15 |
| 4.0 excellent | 13km | September 3rd 15 |
| 5.0 classic | Grimsby | January 12th 14 |
| 4.5 superb | DeeDee3 | January 12th 14 |
| 4.5 superb | 1000J | January 11th 14 |
| 3.5 great | porch | October 4th 13 |
| 3.5 great | gelud | April 9th 13 |
| 4.5 superb | dogteal | February 22nd 13 |
| 3.5 great | arcane | December 28th 12 |
| 3.5 great | quelus | November 15th 12 |
| 2.5 average | bobbi | October 5th 12 |
| 4.0 excellent | The What | September 16th 11 |
| 3.5 great | krkat | June 17th 11 |
| 3.5 great | Muzix | May 25th 11 |
| 5.0 classic | Niklas | April 15th 11 |
| 4.0 excellent | geogaddi | December 29th 10 |
| 3.5 great | cuki92 | August 4th 10 |
| 4.0 excellent | Jruined | April 8th 10 |
| 4.0 excellent | DonDijk | January 10th 10 |
| 3.5 great | Tater | September 20th 09 |
| 4.5 superb | Egglord | November 7th 08 |
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