Review Summary: i can't do this alone
Hey. I’m going to be real with you: I don’t want to listen to the new A Day to Remember album. Truthfully, I think I already know what
Album sounds like (no, I won’t use this record’s full stupid name), and it is my least favourite kind of project. Allow me to present you with a thesis that is totally important and definitely not me putting off listening to this thing:
The sorry-for-selling-out album is the new selling-out album (and infinitely worse by design).
Firstly, I don’t care if bands decide to “sell out”: secure the bag, I’ll put the fries in them, whatever. Money is useful and, from what I can tell, there isn’t a lot of money in hashtag rock and roll. Secondly, selling out isn’t quite what it used to be for bands who incorporate quote unquote unclean vocals from time to time. See, 2014 was a simpler time: get some woah-oahs, get some clean production and even cleaner vocals, write a song titled “You’re Not Alone” and yay: money. Then, at some point in time and space and time, the average brutalcore listener seemed to get into Carly Rae Jepsen and realise that pop music = good sometimes? Huh. Time to reframe what could once be considered selling out as expanding horizons and evolving and oh oops this complicates things!
This brings us into the 2020s, where bands are selling out in the 2014-way (good for them) and subsequently apologising for these missteps by way of Jordan Fish produced projects, Linkin Park imitations, and slightly heavier takes on a watered down, outdated sound (not good for them). It’s a tiresome cycle that ends with epic-stinkface grifters hailing the metal equivalent of stomp-clap millennialcore as the second coming. Apparently there’s more money in being slightly heavy (hell yeah), but ***, can’t we just acknowledge that following a record as impressively horrific as
You’re Welcome with one like
Album is at least as financially motivated as the Imagine Dragons-imitations of the former? Let’s just be honest: A Day to Remember have no aspirations, ambitions or integrity left. They’re here not out of love for the scene (well, I suppose their old bassist was, just not the right kind of… love. Good thing it took the band a mere year and a half to kick out their manslaughtering kiddy-diddling inaudible member, lmao): they’re here to make a living off of whoever still thinks that “disrespect your surroundings” is a cool and or funny thing to say and hear.
I still haven’t heard this new record, though. I made a very nice burrito last night. Shut up. Sigh. Odal is stronger than me. Take it away, please, for the love of god.
a track-by-track attempt at restoring my sanity by infinitely braver sputnikmusic dot com writer Odal
“Make it Make Sense” sounds like a madden title screen when you are procrastinating much more pressing responsibilities.
“Feedback” sounds like a parent mocking their child's temper tantrum.
“Bad Blood” is if an r/poppunkers comment section was a song.
“All My Friends” is Walmart country where you witness someone who is paying off their 2nd DUI drunkenly propose to the girl they’ve been dating since high school at a backyard function.
“To the Death” [redacted]
“Flowers” shows both that the band know how to right a song by mimicking their past and how to ruin a song by mimicking their present.
“LeBron” .......it's an easycore song called LeBron. There was no way it was going to be good.
“Die For Me” is a song written from the POV of the person their ex bassist killed behind the wheel.
“Miracle” is more oonga boonga caveman metal that is like shaking a set of keys in front of someone wearing a flatbrim.
“Same Team” I cannot be bothered to remember anything.
“Silence” is another heavy song that is as clever as an action movie from the 80s naming a jacked henchman "tiny”.
“Closer Than You Think” is actually a decent song.
Thank you, West Foss. Pair those descriptions with the “Vol. 1” aspect of this album title and you have something far more off-putting than that gross smirk cartoon-Jeremy is giving us on the cover. Speaking of the cover art, where’s our boy’s back? Is this supposed to imply that we’ve been looking at band members’ backs all along? “Who cares?” is floating around in my head while writing these previous two sentences, but to be honest, I care. I care because it means I don’t have to listen to this thing yet. I know what it sounds like, and it’s giving me a headache without knowing the exact melodies of the derivative dad-metal riffs and “jump the *** up!” textures. I don’t need to hear this thing to know that there’s bound to be some BMTH-impressions here. I don’t need to hear this thing to know that it’ll feel like a bigger waste of time than the ten minutes I spent skimming through Architects’ latest attempt at music. I don’t need to hear this thing.
Am I weaker than I was four years ago? I
listened to
You’re Welcome. I made it out the other end. It’s an album that happened a full year into a goddamn pandemic. I need help.
Alright alright, let me play a little bit of devil’s advocate here for a minute. What’s up, it’s tyman128, and I bit the bullet and listened to the album. Now, you may remember my comments (or lack thereof) from our last ADTR review, but I must say, this is definitely better than
You’re Welcome. However, it is important to note that that is such a low bar in the grand scheme of what is considered good music, but bear with me for a minute. If we were to eliminate lyrical content, some songs like “Same Team” and “To The Death,” while not masterpieces by any stretch of the imagination, do offer some brief moments of musical enjoyment, albeit minimal. “Flowers” and the closer, which are perhaps the most reminiscent of their old material, are by far their best tracks in nearly a decade, with some rather catchy melodies and lyrics that don’t sound like a petty backhand from the band. Now, even though the song might not be good, the mere fact that they included the GOAT “LeBron” makes me want to run through a wall (queue a LeBron edit, my glorious king). But, I feel like I should briefly defend myself. If you take about 2 seconds to scroll down to the thread, you will see that my rating doesn’t indicate whatsoever that this is a good album – in fact it indicates that it’s a below average record at the end of the day. Sure, it’s an improvement upon what
You’re Welcome was, but then again, you really only can move up from a 0.5/5 rating, even if it’s not by much.
Thank you, tyman one two eight. Thank you for this beautiful writing. I am strong enough to press play now.
40 minutes later
Wow, this album is ass.
fin
